Friday, December 8, 2017

Disabled Enemy

Deuteronomy 30:16

For I command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy.

I'm at Starbucks today working on some projects. I need stimulation,   I'm seeing the bible differently these days, more a reason because i have trouble applying it. Why is it, commanding us to love the Lord? Because we don't and because we don't keep his commands, etc. If I walk in his ways, I'll finally love Him. Its crazy of how the enemy doesn't give up on us me from being blessed. You'd think by now I could disable all notifications of the enemy. It's simple, there's not an update to get, its simple obedience. I grew up in a legalistic background where scriptures like this were more taught backwards. If you don't feel blessed, wealthy, have a abundance according to the someone else's American dream philosophy, your obviously not being obedient.

Hits me, God really wants to and is blessing me despite how I think about myself, negative or positive. He's got plans that are working right now, disabling the enemy.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

A story written by God

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.
Isaiah 7:14 NIV

At first I'm thinking, It's Christmas time, so bible gateway is putting christmas verses on here. Then i'm thinking of how simple God made it for us to be saved. It's 4:21 am right now and I can't sleep, I just was able to put my youngest 1 year and 4 months back to bed. I can't sleep. I should have some coffee but. The virgin part sticks out to me today. I keep on seeing this and it has always passed me by. God wants me to clearly understand over and over that Jesus was supernatural. His mom and dad did not have sex and get pregnant with him. In this era that would be crazy. I would feel bad for all the moms that can't get pregnant. Why Mary? Then I read and think. The Lord himself is the first thing here. See I missed the whole point. It's God who directs this, but what do I see? I see the unimportant part. I get so concerned about being fair and why a son, and Immanuel, that I'm not seeing the big picture, that God himself did this whole thing.

It's like watching a movie. I wonder who directed this, who wrote this story? Is it the way they intended, or am I watching what they had to live with at the end. As a producer, there are selected clips and videos that I have made that i am happy with. Here God, the writer and director planned that Mary would conceive the savior of the world. In this day and age, go to a lab, but no, she just was pregnant. I have a blowup nativity scene i bought from Home Depot this year. My neighbors have the frosty and some other fun blow up christmas things as well.

I hits me, God is simple and I'm complicated. He wants me to accept Immanuel regardless of how I feel and what I have done to claim not to deserve him. He did not appear all the sudden, he was born in a very unsanitary, homeless, vulnerable environment. That screams for a relationship.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Inside Out

This is what the Lord says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 NIV

At first I'm thinking that this is New Years Eve and why not have a verse like this. I reflect on the past too much I find. Why do I dwell in it, so much? It's like the 1% of clients that hate you, that cause you to updated standards. Its the confidence that you lose for the brief time because I want the job to be over. But I must have integrity and finish it. My grandma died this year, my friend Ben Rehm and Sarah Izbell also passed away.

I need something to drink. I'm at Starbucks today, so I'm drinking my usual cafe' Mocha. Sip some Mocha I read and think. Honestly I'm reminded of how I have trouble not stressing over these blogs. I'm reminded of how much stress I had this year with providing as an entrepreneur and getting ready for our baby, and the plumbing leak that required a new bathroom that took 6 months to replace. Then I forget about how God provided for everything. I'm reminded of the movie Inside Out. Its currently my 6 year olds favorite. Its about the inside of our brains and how we react to change. In the movie, a family sets out to San Francisco for a new business venture, the main charactor Riley, is positive about the change, but gets too fixed on her hometown of Minnesota. Disney very cleverly divided up the brain into 5 parts, Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Fear. The point of the movie was to see the need for sadness. Joy played by Amy Poehler, wants Rileys world always to be Joyful, causing Rileys emotions and feeling to be hidden. Sadness played by Phyllis Smith recgonizes when Riley needs to be sad. This feeling of sadness doesn't relate to the other feelings, and they keep shutting her out. This continues until Joy and Sadness find themselves trapped in Rileys past memories where they discover her invisible friend Bing Bong played by Richard Kind. Bing Bong relizes that Riley doesn't need him anymore and Sadness comforts him, making him cheer up.  This gives Joy and epiphany, that sadness is needed in order to recover from hurt.

Hits me, I made mistakes this year, I'm a screw up in my marriage, I let my family down, made dumb decisions. If I don't take time to be sad and let it go, and focus on what God did do, the waters he opened up, the new things he's doing, I'll be miserable I wonder where my hope comes from. Riley was mad about the move, and attempted to run away back to Minnesota where life was better. She finally broke down and cried to her parents and they empathized and related with her, making all her emotions unite. I can look at things as good as the were and fail to see what God has planned for me this upcoming year. He is making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Doing Business socially

So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 8:15 NLT

At first I'm thinking that, I've never seen this one before. How Fun! I'm a fun guy, but I also have a deep and serious side to me. Who doesn't? Sip some coffee, I read and think.

This is how I do business actually. In networking, business can be done by eating, drinking, and enjoying life. It's about using people who I've connected with. I've run into problems though, when too many cool people approach doing the same thing.

I also see this as how to live life, but with honesty. I'm all about the post-event. What happens after the party. In video production, its about what happens in the post event. I was shooting a funeral yesterday and arrived at the burial, the burial people were wondering why I was shooting it? I had to inform them of the several people who wanted to be there and couldn't. She hadn't thought of that. I find that I am living in an entitled era. Everyone is entitled to do things on their own time, when they want it. The biggest problem with video production is that things are left undone. That's where I come in.

I also see the need to lighten up. I get so fixated on getting work in and getting work out, that I forget to watch the wind in the trees and the months go by and its already Christmas, but I'm thinking of January.  Even in stressful moments I tend to have fun, (drives my wife crazy). I use humor in my stress.

My daughter's been watching Curious George 3: Back to Jungle. In it George is requested to fly to outer space to get a device off a satelite to help control the dams in South Africa. He successful does this but crashes in South Africa. Being Curious, he immidiately makes friends with the animals and eventually finishes his job and saves the land from flooding.  I was impressed with how George could remain positive the whole time and keep thinking outside the box.

Hits me, I need to learn to relax and let my job go. Call it quits after a time. Take a break. God's got my work cut out for me and I need to just trust Him.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Good and Evil

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33 NIV

There's a song about this, that I was raised with. It's crazy the words I sing and don't mean them. I find I sing other music and mean it, but when it come to Godly stuff, it doesn't happen all the time.

Sip come coffee, I read and think. Why can't it go a different way? Why does it have to His kingdom and His righteousness. I find i get this backwards. I think if I do good and feel good, I'll get his kingdom and his righteousness. So I am currently shooting a conference about the afterlife. I was amazed of how i could feel the emptiness in the room. I could feel the evil presence on me. I kept just giving it to God. The belief system was definitely abstract, to there being more than one God. A team of gods. I'm thinking, the gospel is simple people, just believe in it and have faith. I found that too many people wanted control of their lives. When in fact, we're to give up control to God. They want to be in charge and control their universe. It's almost fear that they have. It's the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Don't mess with that, it's a spiritual field beyond my control, only supernatural beings such as God should take care of that.  They won't seek His kingdom or his righteousness, they want to choose their own god's. We all have, and know how that go's.

Hits me, The point is, is where do I find my hope, my escape. It should be in God, but usually isn't. I try and try hard, living in His Kingdom and righteousness isn't easy, but more I do, the more all these things are given.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015


"...for unless you believe that I Am who I claim to be, you will die in your sins."
John 8:24 NLT

At first I'm thinking, how abrupt is that? Believe or die, but not just believe, but believe in who I claim to be. It's so sudden. It's believe that I was there or you will die. I would have so many more questions.

Sip some coffee, I read and think. I am a sinner, a professional one. I've always said, christians are the best sinners. There is so much temptation after you get saved, that I've given into sin before, because I just couldn't handle the temptation. So the part "die in your sins" makes sense. I felt I was dying.  I ask my myself, why do I have so much trouble trusting and believing. I am human, but why do I have issues with trust? My daughter brought a note home from school the other day about her speaking during class. I wanted to know the conversation. I wanted to know the relationship. So she didn't start this. Then at the end she said, "dad, everyone gets notes home likes this, this is my first one". I'm going to sin, it's going to happen, but it's just another chance to believe in God again in who is. It's practice, its learning. He's not going to challenge me with things that are easy but with those that aren't.

I'm reminded of the movie Argo, where Ben Afleck stars at Tony Mendez, A CIA agent who has to rescue 6 Americans held Hostage in Iran in 1980. He does this by disguising the as an undercover Hollywood producer and they are the crew scouting for a location to shoot a fake sci film named Argo. It was very hard for them to trust him, but they did and they made it. the phrase "Argofuckyourself" became the humorous come back when the film was brought up by spectators later in the years.

Hits me, I need to believe that He is who He claims to be, not just agree. I'm a sinner, He's my way out, I need to believe that.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

The War with my Drone

But the person who loves God is the one whom God recognizes.
1 Corinthians 8:3 NLT

At first I'm thinking, i haven't seen this scripture in this context before. It makes me question my judgements on things I do. Sure I love God, but there are times, I don't show it. How does he recognize me?

Sip come coffee, I read and think. I find there's a vibe, I give everyone, something I can't hold back. Everyone has it. No matter what happens to me, what situations, bad decisions I make, this vibe doesn't leave me. It's this part about me that loves God, people can tell, I can tell. I'm going to piss my wife off, buy saying stupid stuff, or doing stupid stuff. I find I learn when everything is over, not during. I find I observe during, not after. God doesn't mind that. I don't have to be like everyone else. Christ wasn't, and we didn't like it. I find I need to be who I am. I find I'm not close to many at all but God, and they can tell. I try to fake it, but i'm too transparent. Some people have no idea I'm a christian.

But who is God to love? Who am I loving? It's an identity thing to me, it's about how I see myself through Him. I have to be consistent with it too. I get lazy and don't even care for months. He hints to me though through other people that it's ok to trust Him, when I'm not. He loves me, and i need to accept that.  I don't like accepting that because its my nature to feel stuck, not to perform better.

I'm reminded of when I bought my first drone last summer. I needed it for a video shoot. I couldn't figure it out. It was like a war. Finally i went to Hobby lobby and they explained briefly of what to expect when its ready to fly. I still needed to fly it. I was scared, but I knew I had to do it. I kept at it, feeling scared every flight. I crashed it a lot, but kept at it. I upgraded this summer to another one and still have the same fears. I realize that change is needed not just in my company but in my family. I have an image in my head of what I want that to look like, and I need to stride for it. I have a vision in my head of how crazy I want to fly that drone, and I need to practice it.

Hits me, I will always love God, most everyone does, but am I living my life like it? No, not really. But God's a jealous God and he wants me back to where I used to be and he wants me to improve.

A peaceful beating

A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.
Proverbs 14:30 NLT

Interesting, a healthy body to cancer in the bones. Peaceful vs. jealousy. I've never been a jealous guy. I'm always striving to have a good time or just make the most of it. When I was younger, I was obsessed with the lady's.

Sip some coffee, I read and think. I'm amazed of what peace vs jealously does to the body. I find i get stuck in areas either quickly or over time. I'm easy going, so peace is not hard to find wherever I'm at. Envy, jealousy, whatever you want to call it, can kill ya. I'm amazed of the beating my body takes, when I get into this stuff. I don't really get jealous because I tend to want to celebrate with people their successes. I find I don't have peace alot. Peace to me says, I'm cool where I'm at. I usually am not. I want to be better at everything I do. I constantly stride to improve. I try to listen to people and take insight where I can. Instead of being jealous of what others could do, I want to find out how they did it.

Hits me, surrendering things to God will give me peace, the jealousy factor won't be there then. I can set my expectations high for anything. If I don't have peace about it though, it'll be like having cancer.