Weird and Unusual

Micah 7:18-20

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. You will be faithful to Jacob, and show love to Abraham, as you pledged on oath to our ancestors in days long ago.

 

At first I'm thinking, I know I've read this before. It's more evidence for why I can trust God. God is specialized for the weird and the unusual, it's those things I tend to laugh at or validate about. Since I'm so selfish, I don't get or understand this. I keep on thinking that God never gets angry but I guess he does, just not for long. I'm reminded of It's a Wonderful life. I watching it today. when clarence asks the senior angel what's george's problem. Maybe sickness, but it was discouragement. They considered it worse.  I admit I don't have a problem with discouragement. I tend to never give up. But when I do get discouraged, it's bad. Its crazy how zoned out I get. Like its eternal, like i'm in despair. I know there's a way out. I stick to my sin and transgression for some reason.

Hits me, these blogs suck, why do i not want to confide in God? I can hold on to everything thats painful and be miserable or I can accept his forgiveness even if I don't know what I'm doing. It took clarence giving George a look at what it would be like without him. this changed him from discouragement to value his life. It's like eating the right foods, it's like making the smart decisions. It hurts, it goes against what I really want to do, but I need to do it. Easier said than done.

Girl Most Likely

Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.

Hebrews 13:5 NLT

At first I'm thinking, I don't love money, then I see God will never fail you or abandon you. It's an interesting thing. I would expect it to read more don't love money, because God doesn't like that. Instead hits upon the fear factor of abandonment and failing. Is that really what it is? Failing and feeling alone without money? It's weird because I have my dreams of what I need and want. I'm reminded of the movie "girl most likely" with Kristin Wig. We redboxed it the other night. It's about a girl who's a great play writer but for some reason after landing a great job, her mind goes blank and she ends up getting fired, then gets dumped by her boyfriend and goes home to her mom. She then finds out her dad never died and begins to hunt for him. She learns that he's a successful author but only wants to help her with money and not have a relationship. Even though her mom and other family are crazy, she learns that the best story for a play is right in front of her.

Hits me, sure who doesn't want to be famous? The more I grow in my company the more I learn its not about the money but about connections and integrity in my work. It's relying on God with my family and keeping it simple. I'm amazed of how the enemy gets in to tell me other wise.

American Dream

Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.

Psalm 37:3 NLT

At first I'm thinking, its a trust in the Lord scripture. It's almost common sense, then why is this so difficult? Sip some coffee, I read and think. It's like the American Dream, live safely and prosper. Have the white picket fence, kids play while the parents watch.  The news can't speak of God. They refer to God as "mother nature". They speak of "thoughts and prayers". It's the jagged line of success. It's funny how I can dress nice and appear to be successful, I can dress down and appear to be poor. That was a trick the millionaires would pull on us in retail. It was the guys in Hawaiian t-shirts that had the money. It was the people who were on their break that were dressed up. It's a judgement thing too. If people aren't living safely and prospering they aren't trusting in God. How stupid is that? God wants me to bloom where I'm planted, even if I get trampled on. It's about being apart of the community I am placed in. I can't stress about my business, that's Gods too. The more I surrender that to God, the more insight I get. Prosperity isn't just obeying God, its looking at what I've got through His eyes and seeing the potential in it.

Hits me, obedience is tough. Especially when I get hit. The American Dream is a state of mind, its in the moment, it's trusting in God and reflecting that to others.

Temptation

Matthew 4:1-4

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

 

At first I'm thinking, temptation. The number one thing that keeps me from God. It's also the number one thing that God uses to draw me to Him. Sip some coffee, I read think. At 40 days and 40 nights of no food, your brain isn't even working, yet God was able to be truthful and hold to the word. That's crazy. I've been in moments where I'm very weak and vulnerable and I just fail. Then there are the moments when I don't. But I'm seeing something here that I never saw before. Jesus was led by the spirit to be tempted. That can only mean one thing. Living the godly life can only grow from temptation. It's the spiritual battle between good and evil. It's being responsible, it's being forgiving, it's saying no, its saying yes. It's being selfless, it's listening to my wife. It's different for everyone. I'm reminded of the phrase "practical application" in tech world. It's the way you operate a computer. It's the most in demand thing in customer service. It's how do I make this work. How do I make my computer do this? In the godly life, how do I obey God and get out of temptation? Whats my way of escape? Whats my plan of attack? It's like where do I go on my computer to turn the screen saver off, or how do I make the stupid thing from popping up while I'm in the middle of something? Do I replace my computer? or is it user error? I hear so many people say "this stupid computer", when its them. This stupid temptation, when's its me. 

Hits me, its knowing where to go to get rid of the problem. It's who do you call, who do I cry out too. It's putting the effort in, instead of becoming immune and numb to it. This is how He grows me, I hate it too. Why can't it be easier. This is how he leads me, but I pray he doesn't. I have to be ready for the unexpected.

The Heat

For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory.

Psalm 84:11a NLT

At first I'm thinking, this is a short verse and easily passed by. I've read things like this before. Sip some coffee, I read and think. How often do I not see God. When I screw up He gives me grace and when I'm obedient he give glory. I don't even credit Him. I find it to be a big humility thing, I also see it has a fear thing. Those things I lost before, I have fear of losing more. Why don't I just surrender and give up. I've been burned. I feel I'm not the same person my wife married. What happened? I can name a ton of stuff. I'm reminded of the movie "The Heat", that came out this year. I red boxed it last night. We really enjoyed it. It's a "mommy daddy movie" (pervasive language).  Sandra Bullok and Melissa McCarthy are an fbi agent and a police officer. They have their different styles with the criminals.  They both needed to humble themselves eventually. Bullok was all about following the book and getting promoted, McCarthy was all about getting the job done regardless. At first they're pissing each other off and at the end, Bullok is convinced that she can let lose. I have problems with trusting people, an argument with Susan this weekend convinced me of this. I'm too nice to the door to door sales people. Why can't I put my business brain on and shoe them away.

Hits me, God show's me light and is a shield. Bullok needed to see the light outside of the book. McCarthy needed to protect her. It was very tough for them to listen to each other, just it is for me to listen to God and other people around me. Time to bring on the heat I guess.

Second Wind

Isaiah 40:29-31

He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

 

At first I'm thinking of the 2nd wind. That bit more of  energy I get when I'm on a long gig. What is a 2nd wind? Wikipedia calls this energy as the "runners high". Those moments in the race, that you have no energy or air to breath, and all the sudden, energy kicks in, and you just go for it. I've had a few moments of these, when I found out, there was more work to do after a operate was done. Or I still had a ton of editing to do at a shoot and I was ready for bed pretty much. Sip some coffee, I read and think. It's those moments spiritually and physically that I cry out to God for strength. I'm amazed of how often I don't though. How i'm suffering spiritually and hear the scriptures, but do nothing. It's like I don't believe God is strong enough to take on my problem. I can't get this 2nd wind on my own, it just happens. It's the hope in God, i have to believe. It's those moments of withdrawal where I find I have no hope, that God is there.

Hits me, even though I find myself desparate in my optumism, I need this 2nd wind to keep going. God provides too, he provides that scripture in my head, that person calling me up, that positive status on facebook, that job coming up. It's that "high" in a different shape and form that only God can give.

Hold off Healing

You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

Psalm 51:17b NLT

At first I'm thinking, i need to repent. I don't know what I'm doing as a person anymore. I've felt recently that I just needed to give my business to God. I always stressed about getting work in. Then when I finally wasn't thinking about work, it came in. I find I get this scripture backwards. I keep reading it as,  repent, but believe it as survival. I find I know what I need to repent of, but its interesting of how God tuggs at my fears with it. I keep on thinking that if I come broken and repent, I'll lose everything, vulnerability opens me up for rejection. I'm amazed of how much tension I feel.
Why do I hold off healing. Imagine if my body didn't heal physically, its like itching the bite.

Hits me, I'm focusing too much on my wounds and not on healing. I need to be broken and repentant in order to heal. That's hard for me. I'm not good at that. 

Cancer sin

Ephesians 6:10-12

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

 

At first I'm thinking...it's not against flesh and blood. I often think it is. Actually I found myself believing its not against flesh and blood but live like it is. Sip some coffee,  I read and think. Sometimes I feel I've got this cancer inside of me called sin. I've been serving my client singleton moms the past 3 years with video production. I've learned we all have cancer cells. Then I read this scripture and I'm reminded of how often I take my spiritual health for granted. One moment I'm full of the spirit the next totally sinning. I do remember what sin feels like and the consequences, but why don't I care in the moment? It's like for that moment, I believe the lie that war is against flesh and blood and not against the darkness. It's like the cancer comes back. How often do I agree, do just be agreeable, when I should stand up for the scriptures. My dad never has a problem with that, it seems. I guess I want to validate, when other guys or girls are saying things. It's like I'm sensitive and want to relate, even though I'm far from it. Then the cancer goes away and I'm free.

Hits me, I can fake it all I want, but people can tell, they know, they see. They get a vibe. They long for freedom just like I do. We both don't even know it. Why can't it happen another way. It's how God designed it. It's the devils scheme, in politics, the dark world, it's the hidden temptations that I forget about. Theirs a reason why Halloween and Christmas are back to back.

Captain Phillips

For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time-to show us his grace through Christ Jesus.

2 Timothy 1:9 NLT

At first I'm thinking of how distracted I get about living a holy life. It's like trying to just work and then you get pulled away and then try to get back to your task. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I'm reminded of Captain Phillips. Susan and I went to see it with some tickets she won from work. I also wanted to see my commercial that is currently playing in the AMC. It's a true story about a freight liner delivering food to kenya. The ship is hijacked by somalian pirates, which ends up taking the captain hostage on his own life boat. Tom Hanks stars as Captain Phillips and portrays a concerned captain entering these waters. He's warned via email about the pirated waters coming up. Sure enough, they get hijacked.  How many times, have I been hijacked on a daily basis. When I'm just trying to get things done, yet I see the warning signs and sometimes I don't listen and sometimes I do. The lightrail is under construction in my neighborhood, so I take a different route. When something gets thrown in my way, how do I react? I usually laugh and start using my connections to figure this out. Captain Phillips talked to his crew, who argued that they were union works and not u.s. navy. When Phillips gets taken hostage, the U.S. Navy surrounds the little life boat, yet the hijackers won't give up. How many times have I had men surrounding me to rescue me and I was deluted that they had to destroy the enemy, whatever it was, to free me. Phillips negotiated as best he could to keep his crew and himself alive. He was successful, but he said a line "half the u.s. navy is surrounding us, give up". God is stronger, even when the enemy thinks they are. He is bigger. 4 snipers took the 3 of the hijackers down at the same times (the leader was arrested). This is what the navy is for. Captain Phillips was just trying to work, and he got hit. How many times do things interrupt my schedule and I get stuck, and God puts people in my life to free me.

Hits me, I've got my own set of pirates, and God has called me to live a Holy life. I may not need the U.S. Navy but I still have back up. It was God's plan before the beginning of time to allow me to trust Him and live a Holy life. He likes to test me with my own set of pirates.

What Happened to Your Hand?

Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely

Psalm 67:7-8 NLT

At first I'm thinking, this doesn't apply today but after a little while it did. It reminds me of why I quit attending church. God is my helper, I used to rely on church and not God.  I would be angry with church and not God. I would praise God at church and found it interesting to praise him outside the walls. I found myself looking for a church to fit my needs, when God already did. I found very little real relationships and more surfacey due to the lack of time there. My ADD I couldn't pay attention during the message, which is why I got involved behind the scenes. Then  I feel alone, and the fact the spirit is my helper, I can sing for joy. I have to remember that Jesus didn't start a church, we did. Their a bunch of clubs that I try to fit into. Something just isn't right. I believe some are called, but others are called elsewhere. I'm reminded of the photo entitled "what happened to you're hand?" It's an honest picture of Jesus in a garden with children. He's loving them, and they feel safe. Theirs no steeple, there's no building, they are just loving him and feeling loved.

Hits me, God's got me, he's my helper, he brings people into my life that I respect and me into theirs. He's always knocking on me about things and challenging me with my fears and faith.

Cool Runnings

Psalm 121:5-6

 

The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

 

I have alot on my mind today. It's crazy when you're a husband and a dad. All your insecurities come out, and you don't know where they came from. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I was watching Cool Runnings last night. Even though after research the movie was a true story, but very in accurate. Disney made it into a fun family inspirational film. One of our favorites and at the end of the movie, I was hit like I had never been hit before. Here are these Jamaican's that are totally out of place in Canada. No one excepts them. They had no sled when they arrived for the olympic games. They had a lot against them but they had alot for them. The biggest challenge was really believing in who they were and being ashamed about it.  When I got booted from my previous company with all the work. I was primarily focused on getting the work out and getting it done. Then the question was, should I continue on my own? Am I in huge market right now for video production? The answer was yes. Yet  I was on my own and still am. I began studying business concepts and realized that business operation wasn't a cheat scam to get money from people but a service and a skill learned. While watching the movie, it hit me that these guys were runners and their coach knew that runners would make great bobsledders. Then each of the players were of different personalities. They had to work together and believe in Jamaica amongst all the negativity. Business can't be taken personally because it's business. However business come's in because of my personal effort with the client. In this day and age, it's all about your connection with your client and then it turns professional. It can get really confusing when you have to say no to a friend you just made due to business reasons. It's almost like being professional with your spouse. It just doesn't work. Anything can discourage you. It's amazing what holds me back from being a good husband and father. I don't even realize it until after the argument. Then I'm wondering why I have this problem?

Hits me, the odds were against the Jamaicans in Cool Runnings. I find I'm afraid of success. Yet God is on my side, He's on my right hand, He's with me. He's got me, my fears even though I don't know really what they are at times, I have to confront them and face them. I have to learn new skills that I think are impossible at times.

Argo

Deuteronomy 18:21-22 

 

 

You may say to yourselves, “How can we know when a message has not been spoken by the Lord?”  If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the Lord does not take place or come true, that is a message the Lord has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously, so do not be alarmed.

 

 

This is an interesting verse. I find myself thinking about my believes alot. Susan and i watched "Argo" for the first time on Friday night. We were at the edge of our seats. It was very good. It was best picture last year. Ben Affleck did a great job starring and directing it. Basicly the U.S. Embassy in Iran is invaded and only 6 people escape. They hide at the Canadian Embassy. The U.S. can't figure out how to rescue them. They end up hiring Tony Mendez. The hard part is, he has to get them out in public disguised as a film crew scouting locations for the movie "Argo". At first the 6 Americans along with the U.S. government think this is a joke but let him go with it. I find things seem obsurd to me in my life. Like God why am I doing things this way? This doesn't make any sense. In order for Tony to pull this escape off, he had to get with Warner Brothers and make an actual movie, get it published, screenplays made, everything. Each escapee had a profile to memorize, a whole identity, and take on ownership of this film that would get them out of Iran. It was suicide. The night before, the U.S. canceled the escape. Tony refused and went forward with it. The escapies had to live their roles out now. Whether it was the director, producer, cameraman, writer, screenplay. The Iranians were very cautious and eventually figured them out. But they made it. How many times have I felt stupid about obeying God? He continues to remind me of characters in the bible that felt the same way but continued to obey. I felt the phrase "don't be afraid to be successful" spoken to me this week. Why do I have fear of success? 

Hits me, When Tony Mendez went over to Iran, he had to battle the 6 escapees and persuade them to trust Him. God seems obsurd at times. When he's pulling me to be successful because he knows I have Him in me. I doubt too much, he knows that. He also knows I don't give up. He knows I'm committed. Even when the U.S. canceled the plane tickets, Tony went forward with the plan. Now they had to trust Him. Just like Argo got the 6 people out, is just how God uses things in my life as a way escape and success, the don't make any sense, but make me believe.

Ditching Prayer

Always be joyful. Never stop praying.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 NLT

I have a shirt that has this verse on it. Prayer is a powerful communication with God. It's the hidden weapon, the antidote, yet the most misunderstood and abused concept of time I think I have thought of. I did some research on how to pray, to see what the internet had to say. I found some logical things. http://www.tomorrowsworld.org/booklets/twelve-keys-to-answered-prayer?gclid=CPaUmfmapLUCFUlxQgodd2UANA

This guy states that prayer needs to be honest, deadfully honest. Now I'm afraid to do that. I get confused with the all the "count it all joy when falling into various trials" verses that I should I ever be angry. Sip some coffee, I read and think. Prayer is from the heart. I find myself praying for people and with people and then demanding from people at times. But why? It's my longing for God, my desire for Him. But how is this possible through prayer? I find that its more difficult to pray when I don't know who I'm praying to. I remember at bohof, after studying the scriptures, my view of prayer completely changed. It's like when I first really understood digital and High Definition, was I able to explain the need for it. I was also able to show it true nature. Prayer is how we connect with each others heart and soul.  It's really weird. Which is why its uncomfortable, theres a lot of hurt out there. Because it deals with the soul and heart, where the hurts and pains are, it's reluctant. Prayer also touches on shame. It wants to open up the heart to really let healing in. I have learned that God has really answered prayer when I really have prayed. When I utter out of true frustration or when I have really am honest with God. I mean when I really am showing my true colors and not holding things back. Not when I'm trying to fix it, by praying. I find in our connected society today, only the truly honest people survive. Facebook, doesn't do it. It's still fake. Am I really going to expose how I feel? It's a crazy test. Prayer is unusual, it's this moment where you I have to dig deep down and not believe that even though he knows what I'm really thinking, I still need to say it. Even though I know I'm doing something wrong, I still need ask for help. That's where I stop. Because I don't want to get better, I still want to stay in my ditch.

Hits me, there's a difference between happiness and joy. Anyone can be happy, but joy comes from within, there's meaning behind it. For me, it's the joy is replaced with resentment and anger if I'm not praying, listening, and obeying. I can go on with my life with the knowledge of the bible and prayer, and be miserable. Or I can strive to study and pray and renew myself daily to keep that joy. Life sucks me dry at times, but I can't stop praying especially when I'm dried up.

Love and Logic

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8 NLT

You'd think it would be something more like "be honest or tell the truth or the golden rule. Love is strong, I have to be careful about love. Sip some coffee, I read and think. Loving someone is really, challenging when they've hurt you. I think of john 3:16, then I think that i don't know what love is at times. I don't love myself, I find I condemn myself too much. Then I know people who love themselves too much. I find I have trouble loving people more these days than I did before I was married. My wife has to convince me that people are mean to me at times, when I totally blow it off. I don't care. I'm so used to rejection. She can sense that I'm clueless to it, which makes her feel more hurt for me. Her main question whenever I come home from a meeting is, "were they nice to you?" I don't know, they weren't mean. I wasn't offended. This has happened to so many times, that i begin to think I'm this weird alien that people are just putting up with. I find that both my wife and I have been battered in our single lives so much, that showing deep love from both us to others is a show and not real, yet I can watch others and think I should do that, but why?

My biggest problem, is. I don't accept God's love for myself, I can sure love others great, but not myself. When someone wrongs me though? no more love for them. Thats where I have issues with this scripture. I need to accept God's love for me first and the love will come naturally. I feel I'm terrible because of my sins. That has to change though, I will always sin in who knows what way. That doesn't stop God's love though. He actually uses that sinful moment to draw me to Him.

Hits me, I'm going to screw up for the rest of my life, and love on others too. No ones perfect. I've unfriended people, unliked pages, and feel terrible, and why? Am I afraid of what they think? or am I doing somethings wrong? I look at pages on facebook that I don't know what to do with, should I unlike them? then I see the junk in my office, that I don't know what to do with. I find God telling me to love, but I can't without logical reason.  Love isn't logical, they don't mix. I find logic has come into my life and ruled almost everything with results. I can't love with logic, it just doesn't work, it's like oil and water. It's crazy of how my brain has been programed over the years to think different ways.

Zookeeper

James 4:8-10

Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

 

Whenever I read these kind of verses, I often think about how I'm not doing this correctly. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I'm reminded of the movie Zookeeper with Kevin James. It came out in 2011. I didn't see it until a few days ago on redbox, which reminds me, I haven't returned it yet. It's about a zookeeper who gets dumped by his girlfriend due to him being "just a zookeeper". Un beknownst him the animals at the zoo begin speaking to him about getting this girl to like him again. What he learns is that, she wants him to be someone he's not. How many times have i wanted to be someone I wasn't. Honestly? not many. It's been more, I don't believe I can be who I am. This guy tried to be somebody else in Kevin James style, which was hilarious. I find God wants me to do the same thing. Try something and see if it works and then when I come back and say what's wrong with me God? It's this process that God takes me through. I can't stand it. I want this right the first time. I read and think. This scripture starts and ends the same way. It's the beginning and ending to a video, something is in between. But what is in between. It's the heartache, the pressure, the identity, the dismay, the confusion. Why can't I just humble myself? Why do I think so much about why?

 

Hits me, since humbling myself and drawing near to God are the obvious quick solutions, but sometimes not mine, I have to look at all the middle. Just like making sure the middle of the video flows and transitions into the ending, many times its forgotten, but its where I grow. Where I learn to be humble. I may not be a zookeeper who thinks he's just a zookeeper but I am who God made me, and I have to believe and love that, even if it means bloom where I'm planted when it hurts.

discouragement vs optimism

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again - my Savior and my God!

Psalm 42:1 NLT

This is fascinating, the process of perseverance. It's the hike up the mountain, yet not knowing how far away the top is. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I find verses like these to be hard to relate with. I wasn't raised to think like this. I was raised to be like Paul and rejoice in my trials. It's like always being optimistic in everything so I didn't get discouraged, because discouragement really meant, lack of faith. My fear is failure and rejection, my problem is, is that I don't goal set. I just keep plugging away at things that keep me from failing. When I take my family on vacation, I have no expectations, that way I don't get discouraged. It's like I put up a defense mechanism so I can prepare myself to be optimistic. Isn't that insecurity though? How long can that last? It's like I don't seek God in my troubles, I seek my past experiences as a cushion. I read and think. David was depressed. I don't get depressed, I just keep moving, I keep optimistic and focused. Sometimes too focused. Am I really not being honest with God? I don't feel I am at times. Venting and stress are almost shunned these days. But why? Because it's showing your true feelings? You attend church and it's happy time, be careful not show your true colors. I have before, and people get concerned. I'm a real person, as is everyone. Not everyone can talk to me though. I'm not everyones close friend, and I won't be. I used to take that as rejection, but now I take it as life. Isn't that a cover up?

Hits me, God wants me to be real with Him, not to be someone else who I think He wished I was. I may not be depressed, but I still need to persevere in God and rejoice in Him, because I easily don't rejoice until I think its from God, then I have pride. Because I begin judging whether it's from God or not.

Please Help....God bless

Deuteronomy 14:28-29

At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year’s produce and store it in your towns,  so that the Levites (who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the foreigners, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.

At first I'm thinking of all the homeless people. Then I think of how many people won't do this. Then I think of how much judgement and pity I would give when giving my tithes for this reason. This isn't at the end of the week, its at the end of 3 years. I've already had my coffee, and discussing this scripture with Susan. I'm reminded of the "Please Help...God bless" people on the corners. Yet Susan tells me that there are places that they can go (if they are clean and sober) to get back on their feet within a few weeks. I read and think. I find its an honor to help people out if I can. I've given food to people before on the street. Then I saw the news report of lady with a sign saying "quit giving my son and daughter in law money for their drugs". I'm not getting the point of this scripture. It's about believing that a percentage of the time I put into a project is going to help someone out that could benefit. Whether its food, video, physical labor, possessions, etc. What's the big deal? I'm also reminded of an idiot who hollered at me while I was approaching my car at the bank. He gets my attention and try's to offer me a cd of his for a donation. I told him I would listen to the cd and let him know. He said no, donation or no cd. How do I know the cd isn't blank? He then got close to me and told me to slow down. I then left. I thought to myself, you don't walk up yelling at someone to get their attention to sell something they don't want.

Hits me, I'm in a day and age of service, about people i know and connections. I need to give work away at times. To give money, to give whatever my percentage is. God is about resources, not about only one way of doing things. I need to remember not to pity people who I give things to, but to see opportunity to give what I can and when I can.

Don't Fence Me in

1 Corinthians 11:1

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

At first I wasn't sure what to think. I think of the men I've looked up to and then of how left out I've felt. I've always felt as though I was 10 years late. Like what people have discovered 10 years ago, I'm figuring it out now. Sip some coffee, I read and think. Knowing me I'm always thinking outside the box. I'm reminded of the song "Don't fence me in". Originally a poem by Robert Fletcher in 1934. It was written into a song for the movie Adios, Argentina. The lyrics go
Oh, give me land, lots of land, under starry skies above

Don't fence me in
Let me ride thru the wide-open country that I love
Don't fence me in
Let me be by myself in the evening breeze
Listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
Send me off forever, but I ask you please
Don't fence me in
Don't fence me in

Just turn me loose
Let me straddle my old saddle underneath the western skies
On my cayuse
Let me wander over yonder till I see the mountains rise
I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences
Gaze at the moon until I loose my senses
I can't look at hobbles and I can't stand fences
Don't fence me in
Don't fence me in


Give me land, lots of land, under starry skies above

That's called Freedom to me.  It's pretty bold for someone to say this. Follow my example? I would have just said "don't look at me, look at God". Yet I live in a society where people compare. I compare reviews, videos, movies, technology. The competition is fierce. Whenever I network in business, I meet my competition at times. I'm interested to hear from them. My challenge is that, I'm not competitive. I could care less of how successful they are. I'm different, and I don't give up. Really people are buying the person and not the product. They are paying for a relationship. Do people see Christ when they see me? I sure don't at times. I read and think. Theres something I'm missing when studying Christ's life on earth. I keep on reading scriptures like this, and not seeing whats really there. It's not about what would Jesus do, it's about why He came when He did. It's about how he went about everything. I keep on reading for words and not for the environment. Christ wasn't in one place, he traveled, he met the people where they were at. He did it responsibly though. 

Hits me, he doesn't want me to guess, he wants me to live. He doesn't want me to figure Him out, he wants me to just go on my way and study Him. He'll put me in situations that will test my character. His character was tested. He came into a society that chose to kill Him. I live in a world where the scriptures are tested and ridiculed and mocked. He expected that. We can do whatever we want in this world, it doesn't matter. Christ character is still there when were done. Everything falls back to it, no matter what I do. Don't fence me in.

A beer and the bible

Mark 7:20-23

He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them.  For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder,  adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.  All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”

At first I'm thinking "oh crap, not this one". It's like itching the mosquito bite. It itches, so you scratch your skin, only to watch it spread. I can't but think of Gollum from the Lord of the Rings. The man turned creature because of his obsession with his precious. Then I think of Anakin Skywalker, the anger he had for those who killed his mother. Then I remember "the generals daughter", how her vengeance at her father lead to her death. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I'm using my Venetian mug from Las Vegas. I recently had a gig there a few weeks ago. I had never been there. I was expecting it to be way worse that what it was. This scripture hits me though. It's what comes OUT that defiles me. Not what I take in. It's the evil thoughts, the lust, resentment, bitterness, anger, gross stuff, rage. It's working with a broken garbage disposal. Mines broken right now. I have to plunge it 5 times to get the sink to drain. It stinks bad. I'm reminded of the quote "the mouth speaks of what the heart is full of". How did the heart get full of junk. It's like not replacing your air filter in your A/C monthly. Junk just gets in there and pretty soon, your not breathing right. Situations just load up in life. The particles of evil slowly trinkle in and settle in, and pretty soon I'm just driving no where. It just all collected without me knowing it. How did this happen to me. I got lazy and wasn't filtering my situations through God's word. All the sudden, I'm not reading anything but the headlines, then I'm sick of christian music, sick of church, sick of scripture. Just leave me alone and hand me a beer. Beer and the bible, doesn't sound quite right, yet I feel refreshed, and God understands.

Hits me, Christ spoke with the people I think are evil. Then I find He's speaking directly to me. He's not who I thought He was. that's because I'm not seeing myself through His eyes, but through mine. All kinds of junk is going to hit me whether I like it or not, it's out I filter it leaving me that will defile me or not. I can't let the situations become my filter but word of God, man I wish that were easy.

It's our time, it's our time down here - Mikey

Psalm 54:6-7

I will sacrifice a freewill offering to you; I will praise your name, Lord, for it is good. You have delivered me from all my troubles, and my eyes have looked in triumph on my foes.

 

I often feel out of place and under estimated. Like be careful about Nathan. I feel God is the only one that gets me. I find I have resentment towards people in my past and that makes me bitter. Then I find my character changes. I don't love like I used to. Sip some coffee, I read and think. Yet David praises God. I used to praise God when I was hurt, I guess once things affected my family, I changed. What are my troubles? what is deliverance? I discovered recently that i work best with tough love. God throws things in my lap until I get it right. Then he gives me a break. a few weeks or days later, he tests me again. I'm reminded of the goonies. How they had this group of friends who they were going to miss. As they got into mistcheif, they had no idea it would lead to saving the goon docks. They were just being themselves and it paid off in their favor. I read and think, sacrifice a free will offering  sticks out. When good things happen in bad situations, do I give credit to God? inwardly i do. But through my resentment and bitterness I don't see it. I see coincidence. I lose confidence, get depressed, get too insecure. Then God's knocking on my heart saying "you can thank me".  The goonies almost got killed. They used what they had amongst all of them and found the treasure. 

Hits me, it's all about who I am that will get me to where God wants me. He doesn't want me to be anybody else. Sure I'll got through ups and downs but He wants me to stay original and be me. Just like the goonies "its out time, its our time down here", He'll give me a goal and show me how to reach it, regardless of where it is.