The first thing I think of how I don't do this right. I don't stay free, and I get tied up again in the law. It also reminds me of the many times, men have preached to me saying this very thing. I put my act on and leave. Sip some coffee, I read and think. How many times, have told my wife I'm working on freedom. I find the bible filled with drama and death, not peace and happiness. I was hanging out last week with an old friend and mentioned that the cross wasn't an award ceremony of well done. It was death that brought freedom. I think about things too much, I think. I look at facebook and want to know what REALLY is going on, before people escape to there phone for a second to check it. Being above reproach these days is a challenge. I'm not elder material, I'm real material. I tell life like it is, I don't sugar coat it, with a bible verse of how I'm supposed to be. "make sure" stands out. I don't learn in the classroom. I learn on the job, from the school of hard knocks. I was looking to shoot a seminar last week and was asked how I was going to learn if I was behind the camera. I told the presenter that, unless I'm listening to the presenter I cannot follow him with the camera. He then got someone else to shoot it. I still showed up but could only handle an hour of lecture. Even at church I can't handle too much teaching, I don't like teachers, too controlling. I do better with a phrase and think. I find I'm trying to follow there and lose track of the message. When I stride to let Jesus live in me, and live above reproach, I begin judging people. So what is the way out of all this?
Hits me, Christ as truly set me free, that freedom doesn't come from anywhere but Christ. I can escape to anything and Christ will be there waiting. I can disagree with scripture but that doesn't make it false, it makes me stupid. Any lecturer can do their thing, but it's Christ's life in me that will see me through everything.