Thursday, February 28, 2013

Driver through prayer

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done

Philippians 4:6 NLT

This is the prayer verse. As I sip coffee this morning, and read this, the first two words pop out. Don't worry. That is the whole deal. I don't worry about stuff usually. But then there are the moments where I don't know how it's going to happen with God. I don't know what to do, I need an answer.  I feel stuck. There's a lot going on in this verse. There's a lot going on in my life. Do I really mean what I pray? Do I ask God for help and worry more? I've lost count of the movies with prayer in them. that moment where they're at their last thread. Last year I noticed a sign at my church "drive through prayer". I thought was a great idea. There's a drive through everything these days, why not prayer. After a few weeks, I felt stuck in some decisions and got some prayer. They gave me a receipt simply to document the date and encouraged me to follow up with them about the results. Mostly I was amazed of how serious they were about whatever was on my heart. They really wanted to help. Whenever I'm driving, I always think of the cars and people on the road and where they are at in life. Then I begin to think about prayer and really what it is. What is this action that I've been raised to do? before every meal, during church, before a trip, to find something I've lost, for help, illness, to get better, confidence, fear, hurt, rejection, career, what to say, etc. On my knees, in the car, at work, on the phone, on facebook, in song, in a poem, praying the word. Then whats up with people responding while you're praying? Or whats the deal with how to pray? The lords prayer, it's like giving a gift to someone and not letting go of it. It was always about health and major crisis. after baptism, and of course going on a mission trip. Or is it? What is the right way? Is there a right way? Is it the words or the attitude? Do I judge someone based on how they pray? Praying is powerful, it's a unique thing I feel uncomfortable with at times. I don't feel anything while doing it. I feel it after. When someone prays for me, I feel the spirit, and feel hopeful and sometimes i don't feel anything. I read and think, then there's acknowledging God when He's provided and recognizing him. I've prayed many times on my way to shows, that everything works out. It's like calling for someones help and help shows up and acknowledging them . It's the need for help, it's seeing that I like to do things myself but I can't do everything. It's recognizing these insecurities that I have always had and asking for a cure instead of avoiding them. Why does prayer seem weird to me? I think because when I see others doing it, they are exposing to me that they don't have it all together. It's the intimate side that I'm afraid to show in public. Yet the public is insecure. The public drives up for prayer. These are human beings. It's a humbling thing. Sometimes i don't want to pray because I'm mad. Especially pray for other people when I'm mad.

Hits me, prayer is a powerful thing. It's strong, its valuable, there's no app for it, its always instant access, even in groans and tears God hears me. It's no contest, its simply God saying he loves me and wants to hear from me. It's Him saying, I've left my spirit for you. It's Him saying to me, I'm His own. It's me saying I need help. It's Him saying, I've got your back. Sometimes its me saying nothing special. He wants to hear from me, even though I know what His word says. I'm thinking at times, well God already knows what I'm thinking. He wants to hear me say it, even when its crazy and stupid. I keep on having to remember that God is eternal and I"m not. What he's thinking sometimes isn't what I'm thinking. And that's what He wants to work on me with, is seeing the world through His eyes and not mine. When that happens, worrying isn't such a big deal because I know who I'm praying to and am greatful for that. Whether it's in a movie theater or a drive through, He's listening.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

The sun'll come out tomorrow - Annie

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.

Deuteronomy 31:6 NLT

At first I'm thinking, I've read this verse before. Then as I read it again, I can't believe the truth I see in this. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I'm reminded of Annie the movie. I tried showing it to Shayne an she loves it, she mainly likes it because of Sandy the dog but likes the girls bonding too. "The sun  will come out tomorrow, you bet your bottom dollars that tomorrow, they'll be sun." Living in Phoenix, we hope for rain and clouds, because 90% of the time it's sun.  But here Annie, is dropped off by her parents at the age of 1 and told that they'll be back. Now its been 10 years and all she has is this locket. Miss Hannigen was made aware early on that her parents were killed in a car wreck a few years after she was dropped off and decided not to inform Annie. Annie, unbeknownst to her friends, remains positive and courageous. Annie was simply waiting for her parents, she had no idea that big Walstreet giant Oliver Warbucks would be coming to seek out an orphan to improve his image. It's amazing how many songs are stuck in my head from this movie. But how many times have I not felt strong or courageous, I'm not one to be afraid or panic. I've always had a faith that God would take care of me. But really, when I get down to it, am I believing? did I really hear Him tell me, and did I listen? Annie was the leader of the orphans, she gave them hope, even though she was unaware of her own future. Even when Grace Ferrell comes for an orphan, Annie has no fear and motions her, to pick her. Whats nuts to me, is that, this was in the era of the great depression. A bad time for everyone. Annie kept strong. Sure enough she was adopted by one of the wealthiest men in the world. She had no idea that was coming.

Hits me, in Phoenix I know the sun will come out tomorrow. But really, will it come out in my heart? will I be strong and courageous like Annie was? Sure I can read this and say "great verse, why isn't my situation changing?" Or I can believe that God has my back and says, "i will not abandon you". It's never in my timing, but always in His.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while - Westley

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance

1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT

At first I'm thinking, what am I at? a wedding? Oh the love chapter. I'm tired this morning. Happy Valentines Day! Sip some coffee, I read and think. I can't but think of Christ when I read this. How He is like this mentor, the one to look upon for strength and energy. He never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and has endured through everything. Yet I struggle to trust Him at times. Then I think of how much He points out to me that fact that I need Him. Then I look at how much society has pulled me away from him, then I see how evident society has made Him to be the only true God. I read this and say, I am very much like this. I read and think. I'm reminded of the Princess Bride. When Wesley said "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while." How many times have I really felt dead to God? many. I felt God's love for me, but not my love for Him. The circumstances that God has put me in, have caused me to feel dead. Sure I'm optimistic and plow through them, wondering what I'm going to learn, but it's like I'm drained being with Him and just moving with it. Christian music is blan, church is foggy, I turn the station whenever I hear christian music. Westley was thought to be dead, but he told Buttercup he would always come for her. He did, as soon Vizzini kidnapped her, Westley was the first on the scene. He was so casual about it too. Even before facing the machine. Even after they brought him back to life, he was after Buttercup. Death couldn't hold him back. Buttercap had given up, yet she still loved him.

Hits me, sure I will feel dead with God, knowing that He loves me. I can be blind to the fact that he's right there and He loves me. He's instilled inside me a faith, not give up, and be hopeful especially when I feel dead. Death won't stop His love, because he conquered it. And the delay that seems at times to be eternity is only growing me in different ways.

Life's Production

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13 NLT

At first I'm thinking that I've already wrote about this one. But I haven't. I've known this verse since Jr. High. Sip some coffee,  I read and think. Everything through Christ sticks out. However, I act this out backwards and say "help me do what I'm trying to do".   It's like trying to jam an rca cable into hdmi slot. It's like I'm stuck in my old ways, and I want strength. I find I lack confidence in areas that I have failed in. God wants me to pursue these areas and trust Him. I don't like to, because of failure. I can trust him in many other areas and be fine. Yet other things, I just drop the ball on. I read and think.

Whats crazy about scripture, is that I can easily misread it. When is Christ giving me strength? when I'm doing everything? As I read more of the Philippians 4, I find that God has put me into situations that have caused me to endure all kinds of things, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Usually these situations, I wasn't expecting to get into. That's how God does it though. I plan my way, and he directs how it's going to be. When I get nervous, usually its fine. When I don't and expect things to go fine, usually things fall apart. For some reason God prepares me for the next step. Then he throws a trial at me, to sharpen me. I hate when that happens, because it numbs me up. In video production its translating your story, pics, video, music from your mind to a timeline and then to a 16:9 format. It takes time and think it through. It's this mentality and process that I develop when getting an idea. I don't make up stories, I tell them. It's like when I face a trial in my life, whats my process of conversion to strength in God? Is it the same as taking a production idea and putting it to the screen?

Hits me, in video production, there's a 3 step process, pre production, production, and post production. These 3 can take minutes or they can take forever. What's my process for finding strength in God? time? energy? stress? it's all the above. God wants to hear the true story from my heart (how I really feel) and he'll give me the strength in the moment.