Tuesday, November 26, 2013


Matthew 4:1-4
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
At first I'm thinking, temptation. The number one thing that keeps me from God. It's also the number one thing that God uses to draw me to Him. Sip some coffee, I read think. At 40 days and 40 nights of no food, your brain isn't even working, yet God was able to be truthful and hold to the word. That's crazy. I've been in moments where I'm very weak and vulnerable and I just fail. Then there are the moments when I don't. But I'm seeing something here that I never saw before. Jesus was led by the spirit to be tempted. That can only mean one thing. Living the godly life can only grow from temptation. It's the spiritual battle between good and evil. It's being responsible, it's being forgiving, it's saying no, its saying yes. It's being selfless, it's listening to my wife. It's different for everyone. I'm reminded of the phrase "practical application" in tech world. It's the way you operate a computer. It's the most in demand thing in customer service. It's how do I make this work. How do I make my computer do this? In the godly life, how do I obey God and get out of temptation? Whats my way of escape? Whats my plan of attack? It's like where do I go on my computer to turn the screen saver off, or how do I make the stupid thing from popping up while I'm in the middle of something? Do I replace my computer? or is it user error? I hear so many people say "this stupid computer", when its them. This stupid temptation, when's its me. 

Hits me, its knowing where to go to get rid of the problem. It's who do you call, who do I cry out too. It's putting the effort in, instead of becoming immune and numb to it. This is how He grows me, I hate it too. Why can't it be easier. This is how he leads me, but I pray he doesn't. I have to be ready for the unexpected.

Monday, November 25, 2013

The Heat

For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory.

Psalm 84:11a NLT

At first I'm thinking, this is a short verse and easily passed by. I've read things like this before. Sip some coffee, I read and think. How often do I not see God. When I screw up He gives me grace and when I'm obedient he give glory. I don't even credit Him. I find it to be a big humility thing, I also see it has a fear thing. Those things I lost before, I have fear of losing more. Why don't I just surrender and give up. I've been burned. I feel I'm not the same person my wife married. What happened? I can name a ton of stuff. I'm reminded of the movie "The Heat", that came out this year. I red boxed it last night. We really enjoyed it. It's a "mommy daddy movie" (pervasive language).  Sandra Bullok and Melissa McCarthy are an fbi agent and a police officer. They have their different styles with the criminals.  They both needed to humble themselves eventually. Bullok was all about following the book and getting promoted, McCarthy was all about getting the job done regardless. At first they're pissing each other off and at the end, Bullok is convinced that she can let lose. I have problems with trusting people, an argument with Susan this weekend convinced me of this. I'm too nice to the door to door sales people. Why can't I put my business brain on and shoe them away.

Hits me, God show's me light and is a shield. Bullok needed to see the light outside of the book. McCarthy needed to protect her. It was very tough for them to listen to each other, just it is for me to listen to God and other people around me. Time to bring on the heat I guess.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Second Wind

Isaiah 40:29-31
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
At first I'm thinking of the 2nd wind. That bit more of  energy I get when I'm on a long gig. What is a 2nd wind? Wikipedia calls this energy as the "runners high". Those moments in the race, that you have no energy or air to breath, and all the sudden, energy kicks in, and you just go for it. I've had a few moments of these, when I found out, there was more work to do after a operate was done. Or I still had a ton of editing to do at a shoot and I was ready for bed pretty much. Sip some coffee, I read and think. It's those moments spiritually and physically that I cry out to God for strength. I'm amazed of how often I don't though. How i'm suffering spiritually and hear the scriptures, but do nothing. It's like I don't believe God is strong enough to take on my problem. I can't get this 2nd wind on my own, it just happens. It's the hope in God, i have to believe. It's those moments of withdrawal where I find I have no hope, that God is there.

Hits me, even though I find myself desparate in my optumism, I need this 2nd wind to keep going. God provides too, he provides that scripture in my head, that person calling me up, that positive status on facebook, that job coming up. It's that "high" in a different shape and form that only God can give.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Hold off Healing

You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

Psalm 51:17b NLT

At first I'm thinking, i need to repent. I don't know what I'm doing as a person anymore. I've felt recently that I just needed to give my business to God. I always stressed about getting work in. Then when I finally wasn't thinking about work, it came in. I find I get this scripture backwards. I keep reading it as,  repent, but believe it as survival. I find I know what I need to repent of, but its interesting of how God tuggs at my fears with it. I keep on thinking that if I come broken and repent, I'll lose everything, vulnerability opens me up for rejection. I'm amazed of how much tension I feel.
Why do I hold off healing. Imagine if my body didn't heal physically, its like itching the bite.

Hits me, I'm focusing too much on my wounds and not on healing. I need to be broken and repentant in order to heal. That's hard for me. I'm not good at that. 

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Cancer sin

Ephesians 6:10-12
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
At first I'm thinking...it's not against flesh and blood. I often think it is. Actually I found myself believing its not against flesh and blood but live like it is. Sip some coffee,  I read and think. Sometimes I feel I've got this cancer inside of me called sin. I've been serving my client singleton moms the past 3 years with video production. I've learned we all have cancer cells. Then I read this scripture and I'm reminded of how often I take my spiritual health for granted. One moment I'm full of the spirit the next totally sinning. I do remember what sin feels like and the consequences, but why don't I care in the moment? It's like for that moment, I believe the lie that war is against flesh and blood and not against the darkness. It's like the cancer comes back. How often do I agree, do just be agreeable, when I should stand up for the scriptures. My dad never has a problem with that, it seems. I guess I want to validate, when other guys or girls are saying things. It's like I'm sensitive and want to relate, even though I'm far from it. Then the cancer goes away and I'm free.

Hits me, I can fake it all I want, but people can tell, they know, they see. They get a vibe. They long for freedom just like I do. We both don't even know it. Why can't it happen another way. It's how God designed it. It's the devils scheme, in politics, the dark world, it's the hidden temptations that I forget about. Theirs a reason why Halloween and Christmas are back to back.