Sunday, June 30, 2013

Here comes the Boom

The Lord is my light and my salvation so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?

Psalm 27:1 NLT

At first I'm reminded of a movie,  I watched last night, called "Here comes the boom" with Kevin James. Scott Voss is a Biology teacher who discovers that his school is dropping the music program due to budget cuts. So he sets out to get funds to be able to keep the program. He discovers mma fighting  through a student in a class he teaches at night. Scott was a wrestler in college and has no training for this type of fighting. But the winner gets 50k which is the amount needed for to keep the music program.  I read and think. His trainer told him, just jump into through ring and see what happens, then we'll know how to train. Scott does this, and gets demolished, yet he keeps training because he needs to get the music program back. How many times have I wanted to not jump in unprepared, many. This year, I've had to make business decisions that I hated, but were healthy. I've had to take my insecurities and believe I was wrong, and continue to pursue things. I've had to make a trip to places, that I wanted to procrastinate on. Scott ends up winning the big fight and gets the money.

Hits me, why should I be afraid? I've got God, especially when He's really knocking on me. He's my fortress, yet I don't believe He's possible, He's protecting me from danger, yet I'm scared when I'm trusting Him. Why am I trembling? He's my light. Scott had a goal, I'm a terrible goal setter. Even though Scott was totally out of his league, he went for it. When God is pulling me, I can't resist even though my mind and body tell me to. It sucks when God opens doors and I'm just afraid to walk through.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Everlasting animation

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Psalm 139:23-24 NLT

This is from David. I remember the song. I'm tired today but need to careful about the coffee, I just worked out and don't want to get dehydrated. As I read this, "search me" sticks out. Usually I'm the one searching, wondering, analyzing. Yesterday, I was told I needed a better logo for my business. I agreed. I didn't like it. What does a logo do? It should speak about what my business. I had to let the artist search the web for images that represented me. I found out that I was thinking about things way too much. After about 2 hours, we had one, he felt was good, and I trusted him. I liked it too. I read and think. What is the logo of my person. What do people think when they see me? Am I on the path to everlasting life? I don't always let God lead me, I let my anxious impulsive thoughts take over and offend people. I then asked the artist to give me the logo in photoshop so I could animate it later. What's my animation anyway in way in life?  When I see a company logo, it defines them, I immediately think about how to bring it to life. Will I let God search me and know me. Am I seeking Him and knowing Him?

Hits me, a logo is an identity, it's what represents me, I have to seek God and let him redesign me in His way, not mine, because he knows me, and will animate me.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Pierced Integrity

Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord.
Psalm 119:1 NLT

The first thing that comes to mind is how much integrity it takes to be joyful. It's the step into following God's instructions that provided integrity. It's a sore spot for me at times. I am amazed of how much integrity the public wants. In business, if you show integrity and do what you say you're going to do, you're golden. If not, you're in trouble. Or its like in tools, how much integrity does this hammer have. Is it going to break? But being joyful? this is a big deal. I find that I give people the vibe that they can trust me, that I have integrity. I fight for integrity as much as the guy sitting next to me. I read and think. Is there a difference between joy and happiness? Is there a difference between having your sweatshirt or not. Can I be joyful alone without God? I have trouble following the instructions. Oh i can build a lego set step by step but when God's knocking on my heart, that's a different story. It's tough because what happens when I lose out. I try being joyful when I don't have integrity. Just doesn't happen. Why do I need to follow the instructions? Why can't there be an easier way? It's like why can't I just smile and be fine. It's following God. Is it that in this the day and age where speaking about God is still offensive? Yes. Actually its the day and age of offending and being offended. Only God can survive. I get kind of irritated with the christian community whenever something like the bible series is shown on TV. Why are we surprised? God is in control and everywhere, not just in scripture. Yes, when the scripture is preached, it is a piercing. When I hear worship music, it's a piercing. It's a piercing when Christ was here in person. The people weren't ready for that, and honestly still aren't.

Hits me, am I going to have integrity according to the word or according to me? It's a lot easier when I'm following God, unfortunately I get distracted and then I get pierced.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Walk this way

The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them.
Proverbs 20:7 NLT

At first I'm thinking, how do I walk in this life? Then I read it again and integrity pops out and then again. walk with integrity. It's crazy of how in this day and age, integrity is an option and not an honor. I find myself dealing with it in all areas.
Wikipedia defines it as Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions. Integrity can be regarded as the opposite of hypocrisy,[1] in that integrity regards internal consistency as a virtue, and suggests that parties holding apparently conflicting values should account for the discrepancy or alter their beliefs. Man have I screwed this up.

Sip some coffee, I read and think. People who have integrity are sometimes hard to approach due to my insecurity of not being like them. Sometimes I feel like I'm a flake, and I don't want to be a flake. I want to be respected. You earn respect, you don't ask for it. This bible, these scriptures, this life that is called godly, what is it? Is it that integrity is only for the godly? It's considered old fashioned today almost. It's even crazier in marriage, raising your children without being selfish. It's knowing how to discipline and being fair. Having integrity with your mind, eyes, business, family, friends. Where do you draw the line? Am I willing to end friendships due to my beliefs or can I agree to disagree? I find myself in a constant battle between pain and gain. It's a spiritual work out to be godly. It's standing up and leaving, or showing up and staying. Just like what Gandolph said:

Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

Hits me, God gives me all kinds of opportunities to have integrity. And thats integrity without judgement. It's about walking a godly way, keeping my word, managing my impulses, speaking the truth. the first lines from Fellowship of the ring come to mind.

Galadriel: The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of men, who, above all else, desire power. But they were, all of them, deceived, for another Ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master Ring, to control all others. And into this Ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One Ring to rule them all.

I need to walk a certain way.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Pitch Perfect

Live in harmony with each other.

Romans 12:16a NLT

I'm amazed when on vacation, my by biological time clock doesn't change as well. I woke up 4:30 on my own, on my first day of vacation. I felt fine, I was awake, it wasn't like I was trying to sleep. This is a get along with each other verse. Sip some coffee, I read and think. We're in Carlsbad, Ca for a few days. I need to get a mug. Harmony sticks out to me in this one. Whenever I hear that word, I think of singing. Singing harmony is natural to me. But really it's a natural way to sing. It definitely enhances the song, when you hear the same line being song in harmony with the melody. It's not a back up, its enhances, but just a little. Harmony supports the people. It's not that I'm going to agree all the time with others but something I need to decide in myself to do. "Live" also pops out at me. Meaning that, even if I just don't get along with someone? I need to seek to understand them. That's very challenging with some people, who I just want to leave alone and wish I never met. I'm reminded of the In-laws, not the remake but the original with Peter Falk and Alan Arkin. My mother in-law lent it to me a month ago and I can say, it's not my favorite. Both actors did a great job, but I can't handle those kind of comedies where things just keep happening and theres no real resolution until the end. But my point is, these two guys had to work hard to live in harmony with each other since their their kids were getting married. Peter Falk works for the CIA (you don't really believe that until the end) and Alan Arkin is a successful dentist. Peter falk persuades his future in-law to help him take care of an undercover operation (alan has no idea what anything is all about, until bullits start flying). In the end of the movie, they both are living in harmony together. They both have great hearts and are both very different. I'm also reminded of Pitch Perfect, a movie about acappela singing. The girls ended up living in harmony in order to get along to win the competition. They actually took the theme of the breakfast club and applied it to their relationships with each other. I'm amazed of how getting along with people is so essential in the family and the work place.

Hits me, we're all in this earth together, for that very act of harmony, God sent his son. We were screwing it up. I'm amazed of how much judgement i throw on people because of my insecurity. I'm amazed of how accepting I am of crap thrown at me. I'm also amazed of how much I bend the truth of God's word to live in harmony with someone else. Yet he who is without sin, cast the first stone. Harmony isn't singing the same key, it's referred to as the vertical aspect of music, and melody being the horizontal. Its a change in pitch. That pitch can be a blessing or a curse. If I keep listening to God and sometimes asking for grace with someone, that pitch will come naturally and sometimes in time.

Friday, June 14, 2013

OMG or Praise God!

O our God, we thank You and praise Your glorious name!

1 Chronicles 29:13 NLT

This has got alot behind it. You don't just say this, there has to be reason behind it. I'd try just saying stuff like this because everyone else was, but it didn't work. It's like how many likes can I get? When people hear their name, they get confidence, unless its bad news. It's the craziest thing. That's why God sent His son, to be the credit and the people back then hated that, so do people these days. Honestly, it took along time to for me to give credit to people and God. I remember asking my parents, "after I sing a solo and people praise me, how do I respond?", They said, "praise God or it's all for God's glory". Then I learned to say thank you first. I'm amazed of how many people don't sit and watch the credits of a movie, they get up and go. Pretty much, they know the director and actors but could care less about everyone else. Star Wars was the first movie to have the credits at the end, 20th century fox almost pulled it from theatres on opening weekend because of that. I read and think, their's reason behind accreditation. It's when the person, that company, really blew you out of the water. Where they made the show awesome, its when they do what they say they will do. God says he will not leave me nor forsake me. Does that mean, I'll get what I want? maybe, maybe not. It means, He'll be with me regardless of what his plan is. Would I rather have him give me what I want and not be there all the time, or have him there always and watch him provide in His way?   This is where people start taking His name in vain. The name above all names, the one name that should never be taken Simply because I don't get my way.  Because something happened to me that God probably hinted at, and I didn't listen. Then I keep silent because anger is not good and I hold it in so I look like I'm fine. Then what makes a name, glorious? what makes a name thankful and worthy of praise? For me its honesty, reliability, and communication. Isn't that what God is? He sure is honest, He's always there, and He communicates through all kinds of things. Then why the hesitation to praise Him? Am I disrespecting Him when I use a lower case h instead of an uppercase H?

Hits me, getting likes and credit will never end. I always feel weird putting my nak logo at the end of my videos. It's that part of my humanity that I'll never get over. Jesus said He was the credit and no one else. These days I find myself giving him credit only when I think its big. It's the experiences and growth that I receive from Him every day that are opportunities to trust Him and praise Him. Even when God uses a movie to speak to me, I need to sit and watch the credits and say thank you, I needed that.