Thursday, December 31, 2015

Inside Out

This is what the Lord says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 NIV

At first I'm thinking that this is New Years Eve and why not have a verse like this. I reflect on the past too much I find. Why do I dwell in it, so much? It's like the 1% of clients that hate you, that cause you to updated standards. Its the confidence that you lose for the brief time because I want the job to be over. But I must have integrity and finish it. My grandma died this year, my friend Ben Rehm and Sarah Izbell also passed away.

I need something to drink. I'm at Starbucks today, so I'm drinking my usual cafe' Mocha. Sip some Mocha I read and think. Honestly I'm reminded of how I have trouble not stressing over these blogs. I'm reminded of how much stress I had this year with providing as an entrepreneur and getting ready for our baby, and the plumbing leak that required a new bathroom that took 6 months to replace. Then I forget about how God provided for everything. I'm reminded of the movie Inside Out. Its currently my 6 year olds favorite. Its about the inside of our brains and how we react to change. In the movie, a family sets out to San Francisco for a new business venture, the main charactor Riley, is positive about the change, but gets too fixed on her hometown of Minnesota. Disney very cleverly divided up the brain into 5 parts, Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Fear. The point of the movie was to see the need for sadness. Joy played by Amy Poehler, wants Rileys world always to be Joyful, causing Rileys emotions and feeling to be hidden. Sadness played by Phyllis Smith recgonizes when Riley needs to be sad. This feeling of sadness doesn't relate to the other feelings, and they keep shutting her out. This continues until Joy and Sadness find themselves trapped in Rileys past memories where they discover her invisible friend Bing Bong played by Richard Kind. Bing Bong relizes that Riley doesn't need him anymore and Sadness comforts him, making him cheer up.  This gives Joy and epiphany, that sadness is needed in order to recover from hurt.

Hits me, I made mistakes this year, I'm a screw up in my marriage, I let my family down, made dumb decisions. If I don't take time to be sad and let it go, and focus on what God did do, the waters he opened up, the new things he's doing, I'll be miserable I wonder where my hope comes from. Riley was mad about the move, and attempted to run away back to Minnesota where life was better. She finally broke down and cried to her parents and they empathized and related with her, making all her emotions unite. I can look at things as good as the were and fail to see what God has planned for me this upcoming year. He is making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

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