Ditching Prayer

Always be joyful. Never stop praying.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 NLT

I have a shirt that has this verse on it. Prayer is a powerful communication with God. It's the hidden weapon, the antidote, yet the most misunderstood and abused concept of time I think I have thought of. I did some research on how to pray, to see what the internet had to say. I found some logical things. http://www.tomorrowsworld.org/booklets/twelve-keys-to-answered-prayer?gclid=CPaUmfmapLUCFUlxQgodd2UANA

This guy states that prayer needs to be honest, deadfully honest. Now I'm afraid to do that. I get confused with the all the "count it all joy when falling into various trials" verses that I should I ever be angry. Sip some coffee, I read and think. Prayer is from the heart. I find myself praying for people and with people and then demanding from people at times. But why? It's my longing for God, my desire for Him. But how is this possible through prayer? I find that its more difficult to pray when I don't know who I'm praying to. I remember at bohof, after studying the scriptures, my view of prayer completely changed. It's like when I first really understood digital and High Definition, was I able to explain the need for it. I was also able to show it true nature. Prayer is how we connect with each others heart and soul.  It's really weird. Which is why its uncomfortable, theres a lot of hurt out there. Because it deals with the soul and heart, where the hurts and pains are, it's reluctant. Prayer also touches on shame. It wants to open up the heart to really let healing in. I have learned that God has really answered prayer when I really have prayed. When I utter out of true frustration or when I have really am honest with God. I mean when I really am showing my true colors and not holding things back. Not when I'm trying to fix it, by praying. I find in our connected society today, only the truly honest people survive. Facebook, doesn't do it. It's still fake. Am I really going to expose how I feel? It's a crazy test. Prayer is unusual, it's this moment where you I have to dig deep down and not believe that even though he knows what I'm really thinking, I still need to say it. Even though I know I'm doing something wrong, I still need ask for help. That's where I stop. Because I don't want to get better, I still want to stay in my ditch.

Hits me, there's a difference between happiness and joy. Anyone can be happy, but joy comes from within, there's meaning behind it. For me, it's the joy is replaced with resentment and anger if I'm not praying, listening, and obeying. I can go on with my life with the knowledge of the bible and prayer, and be miserable. Or I can strive to study and pray and renew myself daily to keep that joy. Life sucks me dry at times, but I can't stop praying especially when I'm dried up.