the dark side of the force

John 8:12

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

 

I've always been fascinated by Christ's life here on earth. He never argued, He just spoke the truth. I have a hard time speaking the truth about God to people, especially if their my friends. But then what is a true friend? Sip some coffee, I read and think. He spoke in total first person, which threw everybody off. He actually identified himself as the light of the world.

 

I'm amazed of how much darkness I am used to walking in. It's walking into my office (storage room) at home. I have so much junk from my past in here. Old cd's that i don't use anymore, they're for back up, if my hard drives crash. Memorbelia that needs to be put on display to make it a nice office. When I was single, I took whatever people gave me in technology. Basicly their old junk and put it with mine. Then when I got married, I had to rethink why I had old tv's and gear which all worked fine, just old. My wife told when we had an apartment, "what do you really see in the backyard?" Honestly? I saw a nice patio to hang at, not all my junk. I was then amazed of how much attachment I had put on things that i had purchased or gifts that people had given me.  Then when about my life with God? What things am I collecting due to hard times? Things that are keeping me away from walking in the light? I'm not sure, am I thinking about it too much? It's just like Anakin Skywalker was told that if He turned to the Dark side, he could save his wife. He had a great motive, but little did he know what was ahead. His kids barely saved him from his bitterness and anger. If he hadn't joined the dark side, his wife would have been fine and Luke and Leia wouldn't had to save him. No if's though. What happened, happened and it was meant to be. I can't live by "if only".

 

Hits me, I look to so many other things to be the light of the world, not God. I do it without thinking about it. I find I look at progress as the light of the world or success. Those are things that I'm not good at. That's stupid. My freedom is nothing like Christ's. It's like make my own darkness, my own version of black, my dark side of the force. It's a mixture of a nice yard, good income, healthy family, etc. Where's God in that? I'm way off. He's there, but wants to direct me, not follow. He's revealing to me His life in me through Him even when my darkness appears to be light.