You have to live the life you were born to live. - Mother Abbess

— Isaiah 43:1-2 —

But now, this is what the LORD says —
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

 

At first I'm thinking of how often I feel I know what I need to do, and no one understands me. And I don't understand why they don't understand. It's also those decisions that I have to make out of faith that I don't understand. I can't but think of Maria from the sound of Music. So misunderstood, she had a faith of a child and didn't care how she showed it, "I can't seem to stop singing wherever I am. And what's worse, I can't seem to stop saying things - anything and everything I think and feel".
 the her fellow nuns complained about her climbing trees and ripping her dress. Sip some coffee, I read and think. Maria believed she was Gods, not the abbey's and they couldn't stand it. How many times have I felt like that but was afraid to live it. Maria is sent to nanny the kids of vontrap, where again she is not recieved well. They warm up to her eventually, but when she starts falling in love with the captain she runs away due to her own fears of those types of waters. How many times have I been afraid of trusting God when it didn't make sense? when I didn't have it figured out? in business, many times, i just trust my partner even though I don't agree or understand, I know he knows what he's talking about and 90% of the time, he's right. After Maria runs back to the abbey, Mother Abbess tells her to face her fears. But it was what Mother Abbess told her :Maria, these walls were not meant to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live. I find myself fighting between being committed and faithful to where I am, vs. being open to know where God wants me to be. It's like attending church. I can show up every sunday, and to all the events because I want to support and be faithful, but what if God is calling me else where. He did that many years ago, but I just couldn't leave things unfinished. Or my career, I had to listen to him, I always thought i needed to be in same career forever like my dad, because thats how it goes. I have to live the life I am born to live. Maria went back to face her fears and live the life she was called to live. Hits me, my family comes first, where does God want us? A year ago, I wasn't really praying this, I was surviving my job, now a year later, I'm more at God's feet saying, ok i'm listening, whats next? instead of "ok, i have this much vacation time so whatever you need during that slot is good". I am Gods,  through the waters, rivers, and fire, He's got me. That's how he works, I won't be burned, but refined. Just have to apply that.