It's not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog - Mark Twain

“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 1 John 3:16 NLT

So if I'm not willling to give up my life for someone, I don't love them? Because that's what "real" love is? That's extreme. We slept better last night. The neighbor below us, told me he can hear me at 4 in the morning. I apologized and now feel I'm walking on egg shells with him. I'm like it all depends on how Shayne sleeps through the night. Just kind of irritates me. Sip some coffee, I read and think. True Love, real love, it's all over the movies. I'm reminded of Charles In Charge back in the 90's. Charles wanted to marry someone, so he wanted to make sure he was in love. He takes his mom out for lunch and she told him, when you care more about there love then you're in love. Now being 14 or 15, I took that to heart because I was girl crazy back in those days. I was searching for every bit of advice I could find. Now that I've been married for 4 years, love is definitely a life given. I don't go to work and say "same Sh$t different day". I go to work to see if I can get hours in. I'm working to provide, and any second I see, its not providing, I look elseware.  Then I ask myself what am I living for? to survive? I read and think, give up my life for my brother and sister? I'll be nice, but I won't give up my life for them, unless they're family. I'll help them to an extent. What does that mean? I read and I think again. Now that I think about it, I've sacrificed my family time many times to help my other brothers and sisters. It's the opposite. I find myself breaking a leg to help my friends out. Yet when my wife asks for something, It goes on the honey do list. Yet I'll spend money to make something happen for a friend. Hits me, sip some coffee, sure Jesus gave his life for me, but it's not the life giving that I see, it's how he did it, and why he did it, that baffle me. He showed me a love language that I never knew I had. He shows me everyday through his life and through experiences that he puts me in. As Mark Twain said "it's not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog". Its what's inside that Jesus gave his life for, it's what I'm all about, or a least try to be. He gave his life to renew the fight with within me, in which I don't really get, but need to accept. Like Charles I'll search and wonder about love, when really I need to ask him into my heart. I need to change course on this fight and let him redirect it where he chooses.