life as a father

“The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him.” Proverbs 23:24 NIV

At first I'm thinking, is this talking about me or my dad? It was a long night with some sleep. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I'm reminded of last night when we were trying to get Shayne to bed. She kept delaying everything which was getting me frustrated. Mommy was already sound asleep from swimming earlier and I was dealing wth Shayne. I couldn't find her mr. Lion whom she hasn't asked for in 6 months so I gav her a rabbit, then she wanted both slippers on her feet which she never wears slippers to bed. I caught myself and thought, Daddy go and find that other slipper. It had to be in the condo. I found it. I'm amazed of how I let my selfish desire of simple bed time get the better of me. Mommy laughed and told me even that I react to her at times as though she were my sister and not my daughter. I felt terrible, how selfish, what kind of father and am I? This morning after sippng coffee, I looked on facebook and saw a picture from the bible of a somewhat marked up bible. Mine was way worse. I read the comments and dug my old bible out of the shelf. The memories of college days came back as to how much time I had back then to study it. Then as I was began to think, I thought about how my dad had taught me to have quiet times and talk to God. How he had gone to the mountains, and read some book when he was young that helped him understand who he was in Christ. I understand what he was saying now, I didn't then. Dad always was up at 5 am, with his chex, daily bread and a quiet morning. He encouraged me to with different devotionals and stuff too. I did a little bit. I read and think, wisdom comes from making mistakes. Talking to my dad today, he'll tell me he made mistakes, he didn't always make the right decisions. I have not brought my dad joy many times, I'm a challenge. As a father I have to understand the even if my child is disobedient to me, doesn't mean she won't implement our family rules elseware. My dad taught me how to work, how to be faithful, he was very old fashioned and traditional yet taught me to use my mind and common sense. He was very misunderstood at times and a terrible communicator too. I know many people who did not like him and let me know they didn't. Therefore they did not like me. On facebook they won't accept my friendship because of things that happened long ago. That's what life brings at times, and I accept that. Am I righteous? Am I wise? usually sometimes. Hits me, how does my life reflect my heavenly father? terribly at times. That's what its all about though, how I let him live in me.