Tuesday, June 26, 2012

On the other hand - Tevye

““Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against a fellow Israelite, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:18 NLT

At first I'm thinking, this doesn't fit my situation. But I remember when it did many times. This in my opinion, is the main battle with how my personality vs. my upbringing will depict the result. I'm tired this morning, we had a nice date night last night. I'm amazed in my business how much work we've done that has nothing to do with what our main business objective is. Finally yesterday, we started story boarding for videos to help draw customers to people's websites. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I'm amazed of my upbringing and of my personality and how the two differ and yet are the same. I'm reminded of Fiddler on the Roof, of how the Tevye kept talking to God and listening regardless of what was going on in the town. Everytime I'd watch those scenes I could relate and relate. It was this battle he was having with how tradition was and then how God really is. He used the phrase "on the other hand" a lot. When I was younger, I would get raged about things. When I look back, I know exactly why I was doing it. I didn't like my life, I had friends with what I called "better families" and so wanted that love in my family. It just wasn't there all the time. I was amazed later in my years of how you can't fix people until you fix yourself. Why? I read and think, but love your neighbor as yourself? its such a different calabor. I find I want to be depressed when I get attacked. Or get back or just lash out in impulse and really show them how hurt I feel. I do it in my marriage without thinking. It's this chemical imbalance fight I feel going on inside me. Let the waters calm first. Tevye was in a constant conversation with God and himself, which in so many ways I find myself alot. Having decisions to make and only God to go to. He had to marry his daughters off, but who they chose just didn't fit the tradition. His town was about to go through a revolution too. He had a lot of crazy things happening. Hits me, just like Tevye, God is with me wherever I go, especially when I feel He's not. When I get into moments of grudge and revenge, I need to look at my other hand and then the other hand and then the other hand and keep pacing and walking. I need to do that until I can love my neighbor, my wife, my Lord, my whoever as I see myself, praying to see them the way God see's them.

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