Sunday, August 19, 2012

A Box for God

When men tell you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living?
 
I kind of laugh when I read this, I'm thinking, Good point. Why would you consult the dead rather than the living. I'm at Thrive this weekend. A Men's Retreat and the theme is Fearless. Fearless to be a man of God or fearless to do anything that he's calling you to do. God's been hitting me with a lot of things this weekend. He's put different men in my life for the different areas that I've been fighting all my life. I think my biggest is my identity. I ran into my cousin who was able to explain to me why my upbringing is affecting my relationship with God. I had the revelation yesterday. I had two brothers actually ask me if I was saved. Thats the biggest insult ever. Another brother asking if you're saved? I got offended. Sip some crappy camp coffee, I read and think. I'm amazed of the distractions around me these days. I'm amazed of how decieved I can get without knowing it. How many sermons' have I judged and evuluated to think I could do better. How many worship songs have I just not enjoyed because I'm not sure if I like the guy who's singing them? How many times have I walked into an assembly of believers unfree and left miserable? How many times have I been preached to like I'm an idiot and left pissed off because of how it was presented to me? Now I have never consulted a medium, but I'm amazed of how many people do. I read and think, I'm amazed how much control I want to have over God and when I recieve things. I've built such a nice box for God to live in. Its funny, my box is empty because God isn't like that. So I go to my box thinking that God is in there, and with it being empty, that's basicly how I feel. It's no different than consulting the dead, just empty. Don't get me wrong, its good to be cautious about what's presented, but not like that. When God is using someone to speak truth to me, and because I wasn't expecting it, I don't want to listen. Because Its out of my control I find myself holding on until when I say its time, I listen. Then I get the guys, that just want to fix me. I won't let them. Hits me, this box I thought God lived in, is empty, just like the grave. He wants me to allow Him to live in me, and not choose this box, due to lack of control. I can go anywhere else to for my worth, and I'll be empty, He's always be waiting at the door until its time to let him in, only he knows that time, not me, even though I thought I did.

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