tired of trying

When evening came, many who were demon-possessed were brought to him, and he drove out the spirits with a word and healed all the sick. This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah: "He took up our infirmities and carried our diseases."

—Matthew 8:16-17

 At first I'm thinking, its one of those scenes, where a bunch of frustrated people are trying to figure out something with technology, finally a technician comes in the room and shows them how to do it, and they are so relieved. They ask What did you do? How did you do that? And sometimes even, would you like to work for us as our technician? Working late nights these days, hacking away at projects, working on the business, getting ready for busy season. Tired this morning, sip some coffee, I read and think. I find myself not being able to comprehend that Jesus grabbed my struggles and illnesses and carried them. I think so many times about him just helping me live with them. So many times I find myself dealing with stuff, forgetting that christ already took them and I have to believe my identity is not in them but in him. It's weird because I remember them. Yet I feel God hinting to me, that its all in a season. I have to learn to give them to God and not learn to deal with them. Just as in certain fields of work, people are educated differently. Let the right person deal with this problem. I can't but think of when I was helping out with audio visual at church and then went to the hotel industry. I learned of how much the hotel relied on audio video technicians to help them. I thought I knew alot, but I didn't. As I was trained, I learned about things, I had always wondered about. Going back to church, I ran into situations of frustrated people, who just wanted to it work. It was this burden, yet no funds to hire a professional. Equipment would be broken due to lack of knowledge of how to operate it. The frustration and misunderstanding was evident, yet even when we would explain why, it just wasn't understood. Hits me, how many times have I tried to understand my struggle or my disease? Yet God is saying, just give it to me, I'm designed to carry it. He can help me understand why He allowed it during that season, or why I have this condition, but more, how much I need his help.