I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

““For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16NLT

Oh yes, the king of all verses. John 3:16. This is like F word in swearing. I never really understood what this was all about. I'm drinking 8 oclock coffee today, not my favorite but it works. I read and think, This by far was the most confusing of the scriptures. It seems so simple but what is it saying? How could someone make something beautiful, watch it go to crap and continue to love it. The only reason why that would happen is if they had it planned the whole time. I think power and money, fame, success, etc. make me feel settled and established, yet there's always this void thing missing. Why would someone plan to make a place beautiful give it away, have it trashed, and the send there son to show how to it should be later to keep it from perishing. They kill him only so he can save them. It's almost as though God made us in his own image, therefore the way He designed me was to question believes, get confused, search and research for that He is the only answer. Pretty much challenge him, which they did and then killed him, which was his plan that way He could conquer the very thing they couldn't control, death. Did God the love the world more than his own son? In our language it was his son, but in His language He was His son. I can only think of the love songs that thousands of artists have written over the years. Whitney Houston's song, I will always love you, comes out of course. Namely because she passed away a few days ago. But as I read the lyrics, Hits me. This is me talking to God, saying I'm fine where I'm at and God is too, God doesn't need me, I don't need Him. Let me go. I know what I'm doing. but, I'll always love Him. How many times have I shut the door on God and said, this believe stuff doesn't work for me, I'm different than you are. I remember those days, such confusion, I just wanted to do nothing, and watch movies, drive somewhere, be me. I'm reminded of the plane trip I took to Germany in '95. I was scared to death, I seriously thought that once I entered Europe my mind would reset and I would forget everything I had ever learned (I watch too many movies). When that didn't happen I just didn't know what to do. So I took my camera out and started shooting. Through that shooting, God revealed Himself to me. After several months, I spoke to a lecturer about it, and he told me, "you didn't realize that you didn't leave God in the U.S. because He was waiting for you when you arrived here." Hits me again.  I'm going to bounce all around God on a pogo stick in my life, following him and not, following him and not, and He knows that. Even when I think i'm listening and I'm not, He's knows it. I Strive and Strive to follow His lead and not my own. I have no idea that I'm perishing at times, but I am, He knows that. Christ waited 30 years to begin. That was part of the plan. I never expected the good guy to win by dying. Usually the good guy gets freed by his friends and beats the crap out of the bad guy. In this case conquerering death was win that no one knew about. In my "death" moments, when I feel there's no way out, he shows me in the most of loving ways that He's got me, He knows that I love Him, even when I hurt Him, He knows that. Especially when I want to perish, He knows it. Its all part of His plan to live his life in me.