My own worst enemy

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.”Matthew 5:43-45 NLT

Enemies? me? Never.......ya right. I slept not bad last night, Shayne is just growing like a weed and with almost complete sentences. I really need a hair cut. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I'm not just reminded of my rejection years in elementary school, but also of certain tasks at work, that really none of the guys like. I'm also reminded of myself. I feel like I'm my worst enemy at times. Yet the movies are covered with scenes about bully's and enemies, there would be no story if there weren't an enemy. Somebody trying to stop them, the big fight between the main villian and hero that everyone waits for. In the Karate Kid, it was Johnny, Back to the Future it was Biff, Star Wars it was Darth Vader, Goonies it was the Fitellis, Indiana Jones it was the Nazis. What is it for me? Sometimes I feel its my thoughts, that fact that I think too much. I'm a thinker. I've learned not to think too much. It's like I've had to learn to filter different things that don't need thinking. I read and think, lol. I'm reminded of sets we do at work. We know how to wire stuff up, we understand the technologies, we developed packages for efficiency so that a room can be set quickly and operational. Yet if my mind is troubled  and upset, I'm non paying attention, it won't matter how efficient I'm trying to be, I can easily not wire something up right. I find myself not being a true child to God, not the way He intended. Pray for my enemies? I was told to do that when I was younger, man that felt awkward. I'd rather pray for someone that's nice to me, rather than someone who's out to get me. I'm amazed of the thoughts I have and how much they haunt me at times. If only I had done this back then, or didn't react like that. It's hard being me, I don't recieve the vibe that I thought I sent. Hits me, I'm going to have enemies all my life, some that I'm aware of, some that I foolishly build up in my head, and some that I thought I was close to that were really just out to get me. God see's everything and is equal to everyone, and I don't need to worry, but do as He says. Man that's not easy. Especially when the enemy is me and I don't even know it.