Love's Gravitational pull

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”Romans 8:38-39 NLT

At first I'm thinking, yet I still don't believe it or get it. I still have trouble with God's love. My cold is almost gone, just need more rest. I read and think, I'm reminded of an entertainment group called Fighting Gravity. They perform with  black lights and simulate antigravity shows. It's very cool. It wouldn't be cool if it was possible to beat gravity. I would love it, if I could learn how to fly. Rigging at work and focusing lights would be so much easier, If we could turn gravity off. In a way God's love is like gravity to me, it will always be there. I can't get rid of it, no matter what, gravity will always keep me down. How many times have I not accepted God's love for me. Thinking I'm a terrible person, and idiot, just waiting to die, God can't handle this, life is too tough right now, the economy can't get better, the government is all screwed up. I then have to realize that I need to forget about what ever happened and move on. God always throws things in my face and I don't see them. I used to fear so many things, I don't anymore but when I used to, I almost thought that God was overwhelmed with stuff. I wouldn't even believe scripture at times. Why can't I accept God's love. It's like I don't accept the fact that I can't fly. I have to, I can jump up and down all I want but I still land. I can be as fake of a person as I want, I can run away from God, do what I think is bad, and see what He thinks. It's like I'm fighting God at times to do things my way, because I think its right, then I choose optimism as to relax, that worked a lot. It also tells me how to have faith. I read and think. Hits me, gravity isn't going anywhere, to simulate floating, you almost have to glow in the dark and fake it. God is going to pull me to himself all my life with His own arms, whether I like it or not, He'll put people in my life in my own language and in His own way to just show me, nothing is stronger than His Love for me and He'll always be there.