Boxing God

“And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.” 2 Peter 1:4NLT

I had some weird dreams last night, that caused me to wake up remembering a moment at Midwest Camp in 1988. I then looked at today's verse curious if it had anything to do with it. Its funny usually I don't sleep well, but this time I woke up awake. Oh the brain. Coffee's good this morning. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I was part of the drama team at camp that year and we had to do a skit about fighting the enemy. We came up with a boxing match between Jesus and the Devil. I was to be Jesus and another guy much bigger (all the guys were much bigger) was to be the devil. The idea was that he'd condemn me with a phrase and I would fire back a scripture. I hadn't been in the word much that year and didn't know my bible very well. I tried and tried and just couldn't fire back the right ones if any from memory. I had to give my part to a girl who could. I took the part of the ref. I felt so stupid. I wanted the attention, yet I wish I knew my Lord better. Our moment came to perform the skit, and all I could was pretend I knew what was going on and then decide to put my own two cense in (which was almost taking the devil down myself at the end and putting my foot on his chest). The guy playing him, was looking at me thinking, what are you doing? I walked away feeling stupid yet again. In my own life, I wasn't close to God, I didn't spend time with Him much. I was in my own boxing match with God it seemed. Whenever I'd fought, it was usually due to how stubborn I was. How wrong I was and how I right I wanted to be. I didn't even know how to defend God on a daily basis, I had good comebacks for people, but I didn't ever use scripture. Was I ashamed? Of my church I was. But of my God? Why? Why couldn't I know scripture and live it, like it appeared this girl could. I felt that everything in my life needed to be doing well until I could be used. I thought that way about a lot of things. I didn't look at colleges because I wasn't sure if I was going to graduate from High School. I was a little too pessimistic I guess. I read and think, my human desires are all over the place at times, and at times they are tamed and structured. It's like on x men, all these abilities the mutants had could be tamed. Just like maturing. It's like when I first got into video, I was terrible. But I knew I could do better and after 20 years, I'm still saying that. Hits me, my human desires are never going to end because I'm human and thats why Christ has promised me way's of escape out of the corruption (lies, shame, guilt, deception) I've built at times. It's like I'm boxing him and trying to get my way, He doesn't see what I see, because He see's his life in me and the potential through that situation that he'll show his glory and excellence regardless of how I feel. He's working to refine what I think is a lost cause at times for Him and not me because He's already won, even though I think I did.