I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you - Sam, Return of the King.

“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”” Joshua 1:9 NLT

This is like something a coach would say before the players leave the locker room. Not a good night of sleep, but coffee can help. I've already had it too. I need more. Sip some coffee I read a think. I remember when I was first operating camera with a crew during practice of a basketball or football game. I was fine before we were live. I could keep my shot steady, it was great. But when the game started. I just froze. I was like "i'm live, i don't how to do this now. Whenever I'm live now, I get a little nervous (which is good) but then I have to relax and (which takes some time). It's like getting stage fright when you're acting in a play. I'm also reminded of Frodo of how scared he was of getting the ring in the fire. All the pressure he had. I don't really get afraid or discouraged about certain life circumstances. Yet when I do, I have to tell someone quickly, and try to figure out why I thought that. I understand God is wherever I go, but do I believe He is? I find I get discouraged in the weirdest ways then I get lost in why I am discouraged. I'm also amazed of how when I work with people who are always positive, its easy to work. But when they get down, I want to cheer them up. It's almost as though they rub off on me. Or when someone is negative, it makes me be positive. Even in these blogs, these thoughts, I get discouraged when I post them. Why post my thoughts, who really cares? Yet I feel I need to. Be a christian isn't easy. I get upset, discouraged, troubled, etc. Sometimes I feel, if I only can be logical, I won't make a mistake. I think that's a mistake, because then where are my feelings. Where's the care? I can only take that so far. Hits me, sometimes I feel I need to take care of God instead of let Him take care of me. When days get tough and I refuse to get scared and discouraged and decide to believe that God is with me even though I'm not sure, I have to realize that this was a command and not an idea. It was a command from the beginning and not in the middle, but from the beginning. I may feel weak and not even ready, but in God's eyes I am. I may need to call on help for courage. God knows me, he knows where I am at, even when I don't, He does. And just as Sam told Frodo, when Frodo couldn't move in Return of the King : I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you. God will put people in my life to pick me up and get me to the place I need to be, because He's commanded all us. I have a problem with asking for help, I have a problem with delegating. If I want something done, I'll do it myself, but that I find that doesn't mean keep my issues inside and let them build up. I find I need to expose them. Hits me again, being strong and courageous doesn't come over night, its a modifcation in time of my relationship with God and him strengthening his life in me and not me adjusting the settings of Him to fit me. Its me being fit for Him and helping others in the process and striving to ask for help in return.