I've tried to live my life without breaking a single rule - Les Miserable

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”Ephesians 4:32 NLT

At first I'm thinking, I need to ask forgiveness from people. How many times have I been nice to my wife and child. Just not kind. Slept ok last night, my cat kept scratching something in the room to get my attention and I woke up a littler earlier than usual. So I am sipping some coffee this morning as I read and think. Now my cat won't let me type on this thing, he's all over the power cord. I'm reminded of my business partners dad, who told me there's a difference between being kind to people and being nice to people. I considered it the same thing until I looked it up just a minute ago. Kindness is exactly this verse says it is: tenderhearted, forgiving, etc. Niceness is more dry: fine, good, pretty, pleasant, more on the surface. I never realized that. I really considered them to be the same thing. I can only think of how kind my wife is to people, animals, and God. She has the most tender heart with them. I find myself kind as well and have the problem mixing the niceness with kindness. Try being kind to a jerk. You'll get shattered then I end up creating myself a backbone to stand up to the jerks who apparently can't stand kind people because they put there heart out for all to see. To a girl its called a bully to a guy its called a jerk. Then why are people jerks? I read and think. Forgiveness vs. kindness. They almost don't mix. But one needs the other. I'm also amazed of how jerked around I've been and when a jerk comes to apologize with a tenderheart, I don't accept it, because I can play that game too. Why is forgiveness so hard? I'm reminded of Les Miserables when Jean Valjean is caught stealing bread and the Bishop. The Bishop give's him his fine silverware as well. That act of kindness made Jean's fight for vengeance end. And he sought to be kind to everyone after that. It's such a chemical imbalance I feel. Turning anger into love. Kindness is such a damper on anger. In the movie Annie, when she visits Daddy Warbucks mansion for the first time. It was such a contrast. Then in Les Miserable, Javert says "i've tried to live my life without breaking a single rule" then he takes the shackles off of Valjean and puts them on himself and says "you're free". Jean Valjeans kindness and God fearing heart killed the law. I'm not focusing enough on Christ and his forgiveness.  I keep on going with my nature and logic and experience to determine whether forgiveness is an option or not. Hits me, sure I can go on in my life and resent and those people who have been jerks and bully's or I can strive to keep my attention on Christ and his forgiveness. In that way, kindness will be natural. Boy thats hard. Especially when I just don't know. But He says forgiveness will make kindness natural because it will be Christ living in me and there won't be any rules after that.