My Name is Earl

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” Matthew 18:15 NLT

At first I'm thinking, i haven't done this enough. And it says privately too. This is a toughy, usually I'm pretty good if its really bugging me or I just never say a word don't talk again. I'm tired this morning, not a good night of sleep. Usually it's me sinning against another believer and not the other way around. Sip more coffee, I read and think. I think the reason I don't do this alot if I feel wronged by someone is that it makes me look more holy than thou when I do it. When I left the church I was raised in, I was determined not to ever judge another person wherever I went regardless of what happened. I wanted to be respectful and to change my outgoing ways. I had very little table matters or conversation etiquite. I'm reminded of The count of monte cristo and the wrong done there, then of Milton in Office Space, Aniken Skywalker in Star wars and the emporer. None of which they actually confronted the people that wronged them, they sought vengance. I find it difficult to decide to talk to someone who has wronged me. I just want to leave it alone and vent to my close friends about them. it's this pain thing that I can't but hold against them. I even look at my old church and see how much wrong there is there. Then I look at where they came from and they have reason for raising me like that. I can't blame them. I think of all the people who wronged Jesus, how I have wronged Him. I'm amazed of how I can hold onto anger  for so long. How it can overwhelm me. I just consider it a lesson learned of what to be prepared for. Yet if were to simply try to meet with that person I wronged or wronged me in private, I might possibly win that person back. I also think of The Fugitive and Ethan from Mission Impossible. Both people were framed. Then there's Andy dufrein from ShawShank Redemption. He really didn't get a case. He didn't murder his wife, and when he spoke to the Ward, and confronted him on what he was doing expecting him to be sincere, he got in more trouble. Then there's, My name is Earl. A tv show about a guy who wants to make every wrong he did, right. It was a hit funny show, but the idea was good. I know the feeling I get on my way to make something right (scared and nervous), then the feeling I get later (victory and freedom). Hits me, I don't listen enough, actually I end up interrupting them before there done. Usually I had a reason for what I did and am not sorry. But I apologize just to get them to leave and because I want to be right with them, even though later I'm even more upset. But why? Why do I hold onto things that like that? They won't win me back. God's always working on me, even in my confusion. He wants to remind me that it is possible to live in peace with other believers, even if they have wronged me or I them. The situation might be huge but He's still bigger. I'm amazed of the mountain I can put up between myself and other believers. The more I choose to put Jesus first and not last, the easier it will be to have peace with those I have wronged. I can go with karma but I'm a believer in God not a buddhist. Earl made it his mission to make everything right and that meant a lot of sacrifice. Am I willing to Sacrifice? God was, why can't I? My flesh will battle me like crazy and counsel from friends will be mandatory but in the long run it will be that risk I take and peace of mind with whatever the outcome is.