Forrest, Have you found Jesus? Didn't know I was looking for him, sir - Forrest Gump

Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”” John 8:31-32 NLT

faithful to my teachings, huh. I need that kind of help, not my teachings, but his teachings? When's this all going to be over with? I slept ok last night. The hours of work this last week got the better of me yesterday and I just couldn't think, watch tv, read or anything, the brain was gone. Mommy was doing great! It still took both us to get my distracted daughter to bed between 7 and 10. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I'm reminded of the line from Forrest Gump when Lieutenant Dan said "Forrest have you found Jesus?" and Forrest replied "didn't know I was looking for him sir". It's not about remaining faithful, its about believing in him. I got this backwards. Oh I can be faithful real quick to someone. I can stand right by their side and be a great help to them (usually because I'm being paid and I don't want to get in trouble for not doing as they say). "I didn't know I was looking for him, sir". How many times have I found things in the condo that I was looking for but not at the time. For a while I had lost my cel phone holster, I knew it was there but since we were still unpacking I couldn't find it. I had given up on finding it but not enough to purchase another. Yet one day I was going through more things and there it was. Jesus began his ministry when the people weren't looking for him but were, and they believed. I read and think, it's amazing when you're fed lies mostly all your life, you don't know who to trust. I remember how many people I would trust in grade school and they just wanted to see how far I could go until I figured out they were lieing. Then at work these days, I find I can't trust anyone at times even there (we are fixing that). I'm amazed of how I when I find out the truth, I'm all ears. Who isn't? When I'm honest and truthful with someone about myself, I feel free afterwards although it felt awkward in the moment. It's like affirmation, I feel awkward affirming someone but feel great when I'm being affirmed. Hits me, sure I believe in Him, and i strive to remain faithful to His word, and in those moments when I experience His truth and feel its freedom, its then I discover I had no idea I was looking for it, and then realize He was waiting for me the whole time.