Lawnmower man

“For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:26-28 NLT

I have a lot of thoughts about this one, but really am not sure what its about. I'm tired this morning, again. I slept good last night, I've been in show all week behind camera. I'm very thankful I've kept my job through this recession. Susan's starting to fill better, so we're all very happy this infection going away. I have a new cheapie coffee maker now. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I seriously can only think of getting a yet another new boss who tells you, "ok this is how it's going to be" more changes. Sometimes changes are really good. Some times the crew will think "uh, for maybe a few weeks". I like my life the way it is at times, I just got a path figured out for myself, that works for me, I'm growing in God and now He's going to tell me, things need to change in me? My identity is changing, I'm one in Him? Whats crazy is when the new boss come's in and things do get better. This life is tough, I was telling a story to Shayne last night about how when I was probably 15, our family decided to go up to Oak Creek for the day. I didn't really feel like going. I just didn't want to go, I wanted to chill at home. Oak Creek was cool but I just didn't feel like it. So my dad told me, if you stay home, you need to mow the lawn. I said sure, I'd mowed it hundreds of times, not a big deal. As soon as they left, I ate breakfast, watched some tv and hit the lawn, and I took my time. We had a little less than an acre of land, so it took me 4 hours. I took my time though, no rushing, I just enjoyed myself. When everyone got home, they came in with surprised looks on there faces. My sister Heather was "we did not think you were going to do it, but it looks really good". I told her "I just didn't feel like going to up to Oak Creek". In Steven King's Lawnmower man, this Jobe Smith is told that he can be made smarter through the way of computers and gaming, but it turns out it that it did him more harm than good as is cliche in most movies like that. I wanted my independence, I felt that if I didn't want to go, I shouldn't have to. Hits me, God's speaks to me in my own language, it's different than everyone elses. The clothes He has for me to wear are different than everyone else's. I can't compare myself to anyone, and I'm not supposed to.  He wants me to focus on His life in me, not on my life on earth. Whether I follow along with where everyone else is going or not, He's still with me. I can be focused so much on my life standards and making sure I follow rules, etc. But am I being myself and and striving to listening to His guidance, or am I stressing about how I was raised to believe and getting confused and lost (sometimes I feel people look at me as Lawnmower man). When I was mowing the lawn, I didn't feel sad about not being with my family, it was my time alone with God, with the sound of the engine, you're kind of in your own isolated mind of thoughts as you go row by row. My dad raised me with a really good work ethic, all of us kids knew how to get the job done. I was 15 at the time and was already in shape. What was really important was that, I really wanted to be who I was and no what anyone else wanted. That's where Christ wants me, to be me, and He'll reveal to me who I am in Him. It might just while mowing the lawn.