Google and God

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” James 1:5 NLT

This one is kind of obvious, if you need something ask for it. Then why do I not get it? These days we're always hoping for a sleepful night, we're never sure. I am tired this morning, we had a nice date night last night, yet they can be better. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I was always afraid of asking questions in school. My attention span was about 7 min. Each year I was determined not to lose attention, but it never happened. I just wasn't interested in what they were teaching. I was diagnosed 5 years after I graduated from High School with a very high case of ADD non hyperactive (meaning: I could sit still for hours and not move but my mind was all over the place, thinking, thinking, thinking). Sure enough my parents needed wisdom for me. They thought it was my hearing? they put me into a clinic my junior year to test my hearing, I had to read books and really annunciate, (i didn't care, I read them normally, this made me more angry at them and rebel). I was a wandering teen. I felt so misunderstood, I couldn't even get to my point in conversations. Is this blog even making a point. I haven't even mentioned wisdom yet. Yet I've always wanted to be the guy who had the wisdom. I turned out to be the guy than needs it and is not giving, yet when I've learned I want to give it only to be told, let me learn the hardway. I've made dumb decisions and smart ones. I read and think, how many times have I thought I could do things on my own when I should have asked people for advice. Why am I afraid to ask God about things that are scary? is it because I think I shouldn't be scared but have faith, I should be happy all the time, because I should rejoice in my trials. Well I'm tired of all that. I think a lot about things. I get accused of thinking too much, yet if I don't consider everything, I may miss something. Hits me, how do I know when I need wisdom? Isn't that what google is for? I'm going to search my brain and research online to find my answers for my life's questions and be led in all kinds of different directions, when the answer isn't google, it's God. The government will never own God, they need to trust Him. God lets me think and wonder, and knows me by name and will put people in my life for the wisdom I need in the moment I need it. Even if I think it's stupid, he knows my language, and he'll hint to me, and hint to me what it is I should do even if I have I think don't need help, I do and He will never insult me for asking.