Humbly hate

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”Ephesians 4:2 NLT

This kind of stuff is tough for me. It all depends on what's going on. Usually I get tested when I hate it. Not a good night of sleep, Shayne's cold is hopefully on its way out, but on a bright side, Susan's mom got a new job intown and is moving back, so we'll see a lot more of her this year. Sip some coffee, I read and think.  Man I wish I understood this and knew how to live this out when I was a kid. Why was humility and gentleness so difficult (probably because, I was a kid). I could be patient but only in certain ways, not gracious ways. I was raised to love in a given time but was so quick to judge most the time. In moment these days, I would be praying for someone, back in the day, it was how much can I talk about them badly behind their back. Complain, complain, complain. Then when love was shown to me, I soaked it in. Then I got this idea of what my adult life would be like and it didn't even phase me of what I would be bringing into it. It was so hard not to gather up ammunition for when you could use against your friends. We were all terrible to each other, especially family, cousins, church, etc. If someone did something that was against my upbringing, they were bad, and it was wrong, and showing them love was out of the question, pointing them out on it, making there mistake known to the world was mandatory, what love, right? I learned more from my work place about accepting everyone than I did from church on Sunday, why wouldn't I want a piece of that. I read and think, I used to be the life of the party when I was growing up.........or maybe it was the laugh of the party, not sure. I get along with most everyone, but I'm not someone people call to hang out with, I'm pretty much tech support these days. What used to be, fun hangin out, is now "its nice to see you too" and thats it for the year. My goal is to validate, even if I've never dealt with other issues. Hits me, these aren't just "good words", they are the truth, I need to be humble and gentle and patient and validate my friends. This is how God is, the many opportunities he gives me in the same situations over and over, and how many times I biff it up, he's gently helping me improve and helping me understand who He is in me. I need get my eyes off of how I was raised to act and be, and get them on Christ and how He wants to live in me (hey that rhymes). I need to strive to learn and grow from all that, and not live in a bitter past (that kind of rhymes too). Anybody want a peanut? Now for a title, these are the biggest challenge.