The Moment of Truth

“Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless.” Philippians 2:14-16 NLT

I kind of laugh at this one a little bit. It seems like Paul is saying, don't make me look bad. Then when I read around these verses a lot of things come to mind. I slept better last night, since my sister and family left my parents with an empty next, I thought my mom and dad would enjoy babysitting Shayne to give us a date night. Sip some coffee,  I read and think. I remember my teacher in 2nd grade breaking down and crying and through her tears she said "you just don't care". I'm reminded of Hoosiers when Gene Hackman yelled at the guys saying "all the practice, well I want to see that on the court". All the studying should pay off on the test. Whenever we do a show at work, the lighting is always the most interesting thing going up, we place the lekos, pars, splits, gels, dmx, xlr, optisplitters, 250s, 700s, in certain spots throughout the truss or the roofs, grounds, etc. If we have an outdoor event we're setting up during the day. Every time I do it, I'm always thinking "what a pain" so much work, but wait till we're wired up and tested, the sun goes down and everyone who was watching all this in broad daylight, now see's illumination and has a wow experience. When I look at it at night as we finally can start focusing, it's like, it was worth the 8 hours it took to set up. I read and think, I'm not a big complainer, I wasn't raised to complain but be greatful. However I do begin to complain when things get stupid. I have a very long fuse, and it does get lit at times. Then of course there are the people that get mad at me when I start complaining with a valid complaint. I find myself as crooked and perverse as they are, what can I say, I'm human. But deep down inside I know better, I strive to hold on to that word of life, and when I don't, I feel like an idiot, I get depressed, upset at myself, how did I slide like that. Yet I'm still a bright light without knowing it, I don't see what the other's see. I always get real insecure before one of my videos shows, hoping that people will like it, the message will work, and everything plays right. I work very hard on them and am a perfectionist, and want them to work. It's the same when I'm on camera, I'm always a little nervous about being to jerky. Usually I'm fine but those nerves always help me to cover every element of my mental S.O.P. (Standard Operating Procedure) as to be prepared during show for anything. Hits me, when we're in show, every single person on the team has their "moment of truth", which is the moment when all eyes and ears are on you and it will be known if you have your crap together or not. People will say nothing if you're fine and oh you'll hear about it if you're not. I'll never be on Imag (Image Magnification) during rehearsal and briefly for white balance and color correction for skin tones. It takes me 15 minutes to set my camera up with a 40 optical long throw lense. I usually get 5 hours to balance and tweak it out (takes me 5 minutes). When it comes to my moment on the screen, I better be ready (I had 5 hours) and no mistakes. When my moment of truth in this christian life comes around, am I ready? was I prepared? sometimes yes, and sometimes no. I may not be on stage at work, but I am on stage in this life, as long as I strive to firmly hold on to this word of life, I'll sense my moment, and be able to be true to His word, as long as I try.