Bible Bomb

I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.

John 14:27 NLT

At first I'm thinking. This was before Christ was going to leave. Sip some coffee, I read and think. This is probably the biggest thing the world has against God. This is where the line draws. Like in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade "my soul's prepared, how's yours" or "only the penetant man will pass". It's where the line draws, it's the moment when I realized I was going to marry my girlfriend and had to change gears in my mind from dating to marriage. It's the moment when I quit highlighting the bible to pretend I memorized a scripture. It's the moment when you realized you've been lied to, and you're troubled about why you couldn't detect it early on. It's the moment when I realize I am an addict. I'm one of "them"? Where I realize I'm tired of the bible and church, I want out. I feel more welcome at Starbucks and Target, where I talk to no one and no one talks to me. Why do I feel safe in public? I read and think, I find myself confident in God and peaceful yet I feel troubled but not so afraid. The bible hurts because truth hurts. It's not rejection, it's like when my daughter gets a scrape, we have to put medicine on it. It's this coping skill i have to develop. I remember being tired of the bible and God and walked away from it. I met people who had come from the other side and they said "don't go over there, it's not worth it". It's like as soon as I'm given instruction on what to do and the boss leaves, do I do it? or do I go on my way and do my own thing? Am i going to follow the instructions to build this lego set or am I going to look at the picture and see if I can with my own creativity make something that looks like it. It's the moment when you are ready to drive, you have your license, are you ready to drive on your own ? It's that moment when you have your degree, now what? It's like when the hobbits were leaving the shire. Hits me, you have to go into the most deserted parts of the world to find people who haven't heard of God. He's known everywhere else. He's hated, He's despised, yet the bible is the best seller. It's full of sex, drugs, and rocknroll, lust, jealously, murder, horror, infidelity, incest, hatred, everything you can imagine to piss you off. yet its not attractive, because its the truth. Yet when I'm convicted I hate it. All that to heal me. All God wants me to do is believe Him, know that He's got my back, that He's aware of everything going on. He's given me free will to make this journey with Him creative and not a bomb shell like it appears it could be.