Search, Strength, Seek

Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.

1 Chronicles 16:11 NLT

At first I'm thinking that, it says search me oh God and know my heart. Then as I read closer, it was the other way around. It was a busy Thanksgiving weekend. We started with family and ended at the ranch, which we hadn't been to in 3 years. Shayne absolutely loved it. Sip some coffee, I read and think. How many times have I asked God for help but haven't sought him out? It's really weird, It's like deciding to take a class about software I want to learn, and the deciding not to and I'll figure it out myself. Can I figure this life out by myself? I've tried and have discovered that life you don't figure out, your life, you live.

I read and think, I have to remember that I'm the one who abandon's God, not Him, but me. I'm the one who struggles, not Him. I'm the one who does dumb things, not him. Why don't I study and really search him? Because I feel like I know the gear enough to make it work. I know life well enough to make it work. God wants to show me more and believe that I can get the most out of him. It's nuts, the more I surrender the more he puts things in my path to get me closer to Him. I really am bad at the challenges though. It all depends on the challenge too. I'm amazed of how God likes to challenge me, how he likes to push my buttons, it's actually a great training technique. How many times will he give me a shot until he gives me a break? He wants me to find his strength. But how do I do that? It's like watching a movie over and over, I can memorize every line and know every scene, but until I watch the movie with commentary or the makings, will I get to know the director what really their thoughts were. God's the same way, I can read the word cover to cover but if I don't ask questions and look things up and wonder about things, will I really get to know Him.  Hits me, God wants me to seek him out, He made me and knew me before I was born. No need to worry about him knowing me. It'll start as a search then I'll find strength and continue to seek him. Every day will be a new way to do it.