Christian Coma

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

James 1:9 NLT

I'm reminded of the many moments when I was totally have screwed this up. These scriptures these past weeks, have really pissed me off. I don't like them because they ARE NAILING ME like crazy. Understand is the key word here. I feel like I get into a coma at times, when in conversation. I'm just not thinking. I feel I need to give them an answer. It's like when I was in retail I would get a phone call and the guy would want to know how much something was with tax and then another thing and then another thing. Pretty soon I told him to come in. As a christian what do I do? I want to love the person but when I get in that moment where they need money or just prayer, I am too impulsive, it's like a I get into this coma where I either say sorry can't help or just I'm trying to be Mr. wisdom and be quick to listen and slow to speak. Or I want to throw them to someone else. I am slow to get angry unless something really pisses me off.

As a christian I find myself immediately jumping to "what would jesus do?" I have no idea. Give to ceaser what is ceasers and to God what is Gods? or help the poor? or he who is without sin cast the first stone? or your faith has saved you? or even the man your with right now isn't your husband? or you will be denying christ tonight? or mary is the wiser one that is seeking knowledge? Give everything you have and follow me? judge not less you be judged? AAAAAHHH.

I find myself just stuck. Should I take in this stray? uh the guy is not an animal, you can't throw some food at him and he'll go away. Do i need to have a back up plan or am I being legalist and already know what they want that they're interfereing with my schedule.

This coma is so addicting. It's like going into starbucks and saying hi as you walk in and introducing yourself to everyone. Why would I do that? It's almost like a library its so quiet, but its a coffee shop. it's this atmosphere that I've joined to be alone in my thoughts in public. It's like operating a business based on nothing. I don't share my relationship with God with anyone unless they're in my coma with me. I delight myself in my family and not in God. Man that's so easy to do. Hits me, I may not understand the scriptures at times or be in the mood to be social. But its ok to just be patient and relax when confronted with anything. I won't offend anyone (even if they're barking advice down my throat that I didn't ask for). God wants to condition me, he wants to mold me into him not him to me. I keep trying to tame God. God is process of taming me to His likeness and not mine.