The first thing that comes to mind, is that, this all comes with experience. I have trouble holding my tongue. I find that I catch on to things much quicker than others do. Then at times, I'm so far behind I don't no where I'm at. I'll never forget when I was younger, going into retail stores and seeing everything I wanted and needed. It began to stress me out one night. Then once I worked for them and understood more about it, I realized how much I didn't need. It's also the same in video. It's all a process, just like many other things. It's really crazy, I go on in my life misunderstood about so much stuff I feel. It's like a death sentence at times. I all the sudden feel just so alone. Do I deride my neighbors? I probably deride everyone on Facebook and their just nice to me and put up with the crap I put on there. Its an acceptance thing too. Do I accept everyone I meet? Usually, but is it because I lack understanding to begin with of them? It's like a surface thing in a social group. When I understand stuff, I usually will agree. If I understand that they don't understand I'll be nice and fake that they're right. But then I'll just go on my way. Maybe I should have corrected them? I'm not sure. I feel that this is the biggest critical thing in knowing God. This is what also keeps me away from Him at times? My misunderstanding of Him in a situation. i find myself lacking judgement and not understanding, yet I find myself ahead of everyone because of my way of thinking. Hits me, God didn't come to die for me so I could beat myself up and hold my tongue. He is the understanding and the ultimate judge, all he wants me to do is study His word and not my circumstances that i wreck. I claim that I wreck everything, He doesn't. He see's my moments as apart of the path that I tend to hate.
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