My Disney Land mug

“There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28 NLT

At first I begin to think of how I used to be confused about this verse.  Of course we are all one in Christ, sure I agree. But do I? I did not sleep well last night, first night home from vacation. I'm using my Disney Land mug this morning. As I read and think about this verse, I try to fit jew, gentile, slave, etc into contemporary language. I read and think, I read and think, hits me.  Ya sure this is about different social classes, but it can also be about different "spiritual classes". I'm so quick to judge the spirituality of another believer to think that we're equal in Christ. Hits me again. What is one place on this earth that everyone feels loved, Disney Land! my mug says on the inside "To all that come to this happy place, welcome." Forget these stupid "classes" I've mentally put people in: people who go to church, who don't go to church, who are in leadership at church, involved in church, good workers, not good workers, who don't talk a lot, people who do talk a lot, who I think could never get saved, who swear, who don't spend money wisely, who've made bad decisions, etc. How ridiculous.  I need to keep focusing on Christ and He'll open my eyes to see how much more welcoming I need to be.

Those aren't pillows

“Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.”” John 6:29 NLT

At first I don't know what to think. I'm finally rested, needed a lot rest.  My back hurts now, due to the fact that I'm not used to sleeping with so many pillows at a resort, but I got my rest kind of.  Sip some coffee, I read and think. Sure I believe in God when I'm with other believers or with my family, but when I'm in public, I have a different reaction.  I read and think, I read and think. Since I'm in audio visual, and in video production, I find that I can go anywhere and be able to stand up for what I believe in TV's and technology because I live and breath it, I can see a tv on the wall and know it.  When it comes to God, I fear I don't have the knowledge to defend Him if I stand up for Him, like I do with technology. Hits me, I make things so complicated again, He's asking me to simply believe in Him, and in that he'll take that fear away.  The pillows are no different (their an opportunity), If I had just not feared of what the resort thought, and believed in how I sleep best and made the bed the way I like it at home, I would have slept fine.

Church? I don't belong

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.” Romans 12:4-5 NLT

Oh yes, the body verse. I always had the idea in mind that everyone was equal, no matter what they did.  Then I found myself thinking only those who attended church and were involved were equal. I slept ok last night, using my 5 & Diner mug today.  Today's also Friday, which means I listen to oldies as well. I read and think, I read and think. Hits me, sip more coffee. Until I get my eyes off of everyone else and keep them on Christ, He will show me how everyone around me throughout my day wherever I go, church, work, school, errands, has a special function and has a spot in Christ.

Sometimes I read it but I don't believe it

“Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.” Psalm 119:165 NIV

Wow, I just don't believe this verse.  I've had peace and love for the word, and I've stilled stumbled. But yet again its true.  Didn't sleep well again, today I use my Petrified Forest mug.  I often wish I had a closer attraction to the word, I see and hear other people's attraction to it and just wish I did too. I read and I think, I read and I think. Hits me, even though I'm reading his law, I won't have great peace unless I truly surrender my thoughts and fears to Him, making my world of stumbling disappear.

My Purgatory place?

“I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.” Psalm 116:1-2 NIV

Sometimes I just don't understand verses like this. You know I read the word on a daily basis, I find myself growing in God, and then when a tough time comes up, I don't cry out, because I know I can trust Him.  I didn't sleep well, up too early, getting a video out this morning.  I'm using my Purgatory Resort mug today. So I don't cry out to God for mercy, I'm actually at peace with God when bad things happen.  I read and think, I read and think.  Then I recall quite a few moments when regardless of how close to God I felt I was I still screwed up when I should have cried out. Hits me, sip some coffee, am I really speaking to God the way He wants me too, or the way I think I should be? Sure I can live in this "Purgatory" place with God but if I don't communicate with Him the way he would like, I will never call on him as long as I live.

I'm optimistic, I don't cry

“I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.” Psalm 94:18-19 NLT

At first I'm thankful that now I know I can really cry out to the Lord He'll support me. I've had my moments of doubts of who knows what. I slept ok last night, still need coffee this morning.  I'm using my MeteorCrater mug today. I've lost count of how many times I haven't cried out to God when I was in shambles and just tried to deal with struggles on my own only to fall hard.  I read and think, sip some coffee.  I ask myself why, when the answer is right in front of my face.  I struggle with things like everyone else on a daily basis, and every day is different. I read and think, I read and think, 10 minutes later, hits me. Ironically, when it feels like a meteor has hit me, I automatically get into challenge mode and become optimistic and try to figure out on my own how get out of it. I'm backwards again, sure I can be optimistic and have control and just see whats going to happen.  Yet if I simply let God know how I really feel instead of how I think I'm supposed to feel, He'll support comfort me and show me how this so called meteor was given to renew my hope and cheer.

The things I've done, the places I've been

“Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Romans 8:32 NLT

At first I'm thinking, what a sacrifice. Then I'm thinking I've known this all my life. Then I'm thinking about everything else.  I slept ok, coffee's slowing kicking in. I'm using my St. Louis coffee mug today. I've been collecting coffee mugs since 1994, every place I've been.  I read and I think, I read and I think, sip more coffee. I begin to think of all the stuff I've done both good and bad in my past life time and where God has been and where it seemed like He wasn't it.  Hits me, if He had spared His own son, I probably wouldn't be alive and wouldn't be who I am today in Him.

I want what he has

“But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life.” Psalm 42:8 NLT

When I read verses like this, I first try to figure out if I'm in tune with God the way David is, sometimes yes and sometimes no. I slept ok last night, woke up around 1 am really thirsty, then after a lot of water, couldn't sleep. I find myself wishing I had that kind of relationship.  Sip some coffee, I read and think, read and think. Hits me, He is so consistent with being there, that regardless of how I screw up on a daily basis, He'll pull me in one way or another and show me His life in me.

But, I still screw up?

“I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.” Psalm 16:8 NLT

At first I'm thinking, well sometimes it didn't matter if He was with me or not.  I still screwed up. Bad things still happened.  Then I'm reminded of the footsteps poem. I read and I think.  I'm a little tired this morning, but not bad, I turned in last night with a fever but the Tylenol helped big time. Sip some coffee, I read and think, backwards again, hits me.  Sure I have knowledge of Him being with me, sure I recognize He's beside me, but if I keep asking for His help instead of making myself available to Him, I'll keep feeling miserable and screw up.  Hits me again.  The more I strive to serve Him,  the more I'll find myself giving Him my pain and I will not feel shaken.

Challenge for me today: strive to make myself available for God.

Why am I not further along in life?

“Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have God’s Son does not have life.” 1 John 5:12 NLT

Duh i already know this. Then why do I get frustrated of where I am in life. Why do I think of what I should've done.  I do not like the life I am living that I have made for myself.  I read and think, and read and think. Hits me, backwards again, sure I have the son, but I don't live His life because I'm failing at attempting to live it, instead I need keep in the word and see the life, the son has for me to live and let Him live it.

Challenge for me today: do my best to let Him live in me

I live for me!

“For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.” Philippians 1:21 NLT

At first I'm thinking, another "good verse".  I slept better last night, didn't get woken up at all. Still tired, have videos I'm trying to get out. I always saw this verse, as I'll live for Christ and when I die it'll be great, because I know where I'm going.  I read and I think, I read and I think.  Sip some coffee, still tired. Waiting for caffeine to sink in. Living for Christ always meant to me, I take a portion of Christ that best fits me and live that, but not all, because I do what I have time for, be aware of weird people, and use common sense. I read and I think, I read and I think, hits me. I'm backwards again, I'm always backwards it seems.  Sip some more coffee. I'm living for me, in hopes that I reach for Christ whenever I see fit, instead of Living for Christ and letting Him guide me, wherever He sees fit.

Challenge for me today: strive to live for Christ and let Him guide me

But, what will people say?

“As the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord.” When people commend themselves, it doesn’t count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them.” 2 Corinthians 10:17-18 NLT

At first I'm remember this verse from High School, very similar to the not ashamed verse. Didn't get woken up til 3 am this morning, so I slept better. Sip some coffee, still tired. I never knew how to handle people who bragged about what they had materially, but I know it bothered me. Then I remember how many times I've not bragged about God when I should have. I read and I think, I read and think, I'm tired this morning. Sip some coffee, I think, hits me. I'm backwards again. Instead of getting so caught up with everyones reaction of what I've got, done or believe in the moment, I need to make priority what God thinks of me.  Because if something gets screwed up, I'm gunna and have looked like an idiot and should have kept my mouth shut.

Stupid, Crazy, World

“Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God.” 2 Corinthians 7:1 NLT

Not as tired this morning but its coffee worthy. This verse has often confused me, just never could figure it out. I live in a stupid crazy world, what do you want me to do? Live in a bubble? As I continue to read and think, sip coffee, read and think. Sure, I come home from work and am exhausted mentally and physically, I'm thinking shower. Yet even when thats done, I still fill warn out, need a beer. The pain I feel, I can't figure out what I did to cause it, I just know I feel it. I read and think, coffee. Hits me,  the fact that I don't know how the pain got there, means it going to come back unless I pay attention to how I do things. The more I talk with God, the more I'll respect Him and become like Him and he'll make me sensitive in the moment and show me other ways to protect myself from harm physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Every man dies but not every man lives

“If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.” Romans 14:8 NLT

Wow this verse is easy to read. I'm tired, didn't sleep well again, it was a long tiring weekend. Sip some coffee. The scene from Braveheart comes to mind - "Every man dies but not every man lives". Honestly, I know I have not honored God in my daily thoughts, activities. Sometimes I have, I don't really think about it. I find my self asking Him for help to get through the day but really don't believe it.  I always thought this meant, doing something to further the gospel.  I read and think, sip more coffee. read and think, read and think, hits me (10 min). (caffeine starting to kick in, I love it when that happens) I'm backwards again, I keep on thinking I have to honor God by doing certain things and acting certain ways.  He continues to remind me, that by surrendering to Him all my daily thoughts, actions, and circumstances, He considers it an honor to live through me because I believe I belong to Him.

I've Fallen and I can't get up

“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NLT

Slept better last night, now I'm fighting a cold. At first I'm thinking, oh this verse, the holy temple one.  Sip some coffee. I always thought "hey I run, i don't smoke, drink, drugs, I'm in shape, great next verse." I read and I think, hits me.  I'm drinking coffee and fighting a cold. Sip more coffee. I read and I think, hits me again. How many times have I yelled at God to fix me as I continue to hurt myself, oh the temptations. Hits me again.....I'm backwards. I keep forgetting that God lives in me, and that He just doesn't stop by when He has a moment because I'm one of His children.  If I can keep my focus on God instead of blaming Him for not flipping the off switch with my struggles, He will reveal ways that I can and am already honoring Him. I need some water.

This is my stuff, leave it alone!

“I have rejoiced in your laws as much as in riches.” Psalm 119:14NLT

At first I'm thinking, well he can say this because he's stinkin King David.  Still not sleeping, so a lot of coffee this morning, more coffee, can't wait for a surprise nap sometime. I've lost count of how many times I've not rejoiced or been thankful to God unless my own life was doing well.  Or  I would rejoice but not mean it. I read and I read, think and think this through, hits me. Regardless of how tired I am, how much sleep I wish I had,  how many dvds I own, stuff I've collected, skills I've developed, memories I've saved, things that I claim, make me who I am.  But, The more I spend time with him, the more He'll reveal to me His provisions and how to use them for His glory and I'll continue to rejoice in Him.

God!! Where are you?

“[For the choir director: A song of the descendants of Korah, to be sung by soprano voices.] God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1 NLT

Strong coffee this morning, didn't sleep well. Every time I read these kinds of verses, I always get thrown off by choir thing. The line doesn't even rhyme, how can you sing something that doesn't rhyme. As I read this over and over again, having no idea what God is trying to tell me, hits me. How often have I bypassed God in hard times, thinking, it wasn't enough trouble to qualify for God's assistance. Hits me again, how many musicals have I seen where the soprano has the main part, and I find myself stopping to listen for that moment. I think of the scene in ShawShank Redemption, where the men in the jail yard stop in awe of what they're hearing all of the sudden and for a just a minute and felt like free men. Hits me again, just like I wasn't expecting him to save me in the form of a virgin birth, His refuge and strength won't always been in words, but in the sound of a voice, in nature, a dream, a scene, an act of kindness. He knows my language in my time of trouble.

God doesn't care about little 'ol me

““What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” Luke 12:6-7 NLT

At first I'm thinking of the stock market dieing. I think of how afraid I was yesterday of my job of what was to come. Then I recall moments where I thought God only cared about the big stuff going on in the world and not about my little problems. I always looked at God as a big corporate person in a tall building and putting me in the public domain section. 2nd cup of coffee, I read and think, I read and think. Hits me, no matter how scary, crazy, and impossible things get in this world, He knows it, is aware of it, but it doesn't startle Him. Even when it seems that this life is all about power and money, and screwing the innocent hard working people over, He reminds me its not, even though it seems, its not, even thought it seems, its not, but about Him. I have to trust Him.

I'm too nice at times

“For the Lord delights in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.” Psalm 149:4 NLT

(this ones kind of long) At first I'm thinking, I need to work on humility now or God won't delight in me. As I start sipping coffee, reading and thinking, reading and thinking. I begin to recall so many instances where I've been humble in asking for an opinion and to follow the other persons lead, knowing full well that they're wrong, when I should have defended the correct answer early on.  Only to find out later that I took humility too far and it made myself look incompetent, I think I'm too nice.  Then its even worse to work with someone who can't admit they made a mistake and that they're arrogant (big pet peeve of mine). Then I realize how long it took me to be humble, how many times in the past could I not admit when I was wrong or made a bad decision? Many times, I have trouble forgiving myself at times for past failures. I read and I read, it hits me, backwards again. Sure I can be a pro at being humble, but, if I don't keep my focus on God, then I will not see that He wants to show me what His type of humility is, that He'll give me the wisdom and knowledge to defend myself and I'll find victory as I delight in Him. 

God, take a break, I'll take this one

“For the Lord is our judge, our lawgiver, and our king. He will care for us and save us.” Isaiah 33:22 NLT

At first I'm thinking, aah great, another judge, law, king verse. I begin to think to about how many times I've told God to take a break, I've got a lot of experience in judging, creating my laws and being in charge. I'll fill him in when I'm done.  As I read and read, sip coffee, and read. I find myself really having a problem with this judge, lawgiver, king thing. Then it hits me, of how much anger, resentment, bitterness, trust issues, control I have built up, I feel miserable. Coffee's done, Hits me again, got this backwards. Until I don't tell God to take a break, and let Him be Him, will I feel how much He cares for me and has been saving me all this time.  Otherwise I'll still be miserable.

Sorry for interrupting

“The very essence of your words is truth; all your just regulations will stand forever.” Psalm 119:160 NLT

At first I'm thinking good, good, good. Then I feel I'm walking into a conversation between two people. I read again and again. I take another sip of coffee. It's like I'm watching these two people converse from a distance (I can even picture the camera angles). I find myself wanting the relationship the two people have, but what is it? Two people just don't talk like this. Hits me, the fact that I'm witnessing the conversation, and studying it, is increasing the depth of relationship I'm developing with God.

Are you calling me simple?

“The teaching of your word gives light, so even the simple can understand.” Psalm 119:130 NLT

At first I'm thinking, this is a great verse! Simple.  Then I'm finding, wait a second, is it telling me I'm simple and it has to be taught, meaning I can't figure it out, does this mean I'm stupid?  I read it again and again. Hits me, How many times have I read the word as just a reading, not to understand it, and how many times have I not been teachable and just sat there waiting for the lesson to end.  Yet how many times have I heard the word by accident and it gave me a glimpse of light in my dark world. Hits me again, that regardless of what situation I'm in, attitude I have, dumb decision I've made, anger I have, however I see the word, it will always be light, regardless if I understand it or not at the moment, it's pretty simple.

One day at a time

““This is what the Lord says—the Lord who made the earth, who formed and established it, whose name is the Lord: Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.” Jeremiah 33:2-3 NLT

Usually I skip by these types of verses because I'm not someone who cares about things to come, I take things one day at a time.  As I read this over and over again.  How many times have I limited what God can do, due to how big I can think and imagine? How many times have I not cared about what the future holds due to my lack of control of it. Then it hits me, I'm backwards again, the more I talk with Him and spend time with Him, the easier it will be to give control to Him, as he reveals those remarkable secrets that are to come.

I hope it works as good as it looks

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”” 1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

As much as I want to deny it, I am a professional at judging others. If I could change anything, I would change that. To help me with this, I developed a phrase about 11 years ago, "I hope it works as good as it looks" (mainly for equipment).  As I read this again and again, it hits me, no matter how many tricks and ideas I develop to help me overcome this problem, If I don't desire to see everything and everybody through God's eyes, I'll always be quick to judge.

Am I fooling myself?

“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” James 1:22 NLT

HHHmmmm......HHHmmm. Why am I stalling? Procrastination? How many times have I read his word or listened to someone preach or teach it, walk away feeling good, not apply it, but to continue to sin more. I find that I can create such a physical, mental, and spiritual barricade in my life so that I'll feel safe and only have to listen to God's word.  This verse seems easier to do around other believers. I find myself asking God to help me focus on my to do's and for strength for my family but not for help in doing his word. I read and I read, hits me, by writing this blog, I am doing his word, probably the most insecure uncomfortable thing I've ever done, being vulnerable to the world, I often think I'm fooling myself.

Why is opening the bible so hard?

“You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.” Psalm 119:114 NLT

At first I'm thinking, well I'm not in any physical danger.  It's nice to know that I can count on God to be my refuge and shield.  After I read it closer though.  Then it hits me again, all the battles I'm facing inside my head, fears, struggles, etc.  How many times have I not gone to his word for help with that? too many.  How many times have I tried to fix my own situations without God, saying I don't need God on this one, I've got it. Why is opening the bible so hard? When I did get into his word (usually later), I find that all i had done was created a bigger mess for myself, and that He would have cleared my mind and thoughts if I had only consulted him first.