My Purgatory place?

“I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.” Psalm 116:1-2 NIV

Sometimes I just don't understand verses like this. You know I read the word on a daily basis, I find myself growing in God, and then when a tough time comes up, I don't cry out, because I know I can trust Him.  I didn't sleep well, up too early, getting a video out this morning.  I'm using my Purgatory Resort mug today. So I don't cry out to God for mercy, I'm actually at peace with God when bad things happen.  I read and think, I read and think.  Then I recall quite a few moments when regardless of how close to God I felt I was I still screwed up when I should have cried out. Hits me, sip some coffee, am I really speaking to God the way He wants me too, or the way I think I should be? Sure I can live in this "Purgatory" place with God but if I don't communicate with Him the way he would like, I will never call on him as long as I live.