Why is opening the bible so hard?

“You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.” Psalm 119:114 NLT

At first I'm thinking, well I'm not in any physical danger.  It's nice to know that I can count on God to be my refuge and shield.  After I read it closer though.  Then it hits me again, all the battles I'm facing inside my head, fears, struggles, etc.  How many times have I not gone to his word for help with that? too many.  How many times have I tried to fix my own situations without God, saying I don't need God on this one, I've got it. Why is opening the bible so hard? When I did get into his word (usually later), I find that all i had done was created a bigger mess for myself, and that He would have cleared my mind and thoughts if I had only consulted him first.