Fellowship of the Ring

 I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him.” Psalm 62:1NLT

At first I got this confused with the be still and know verse, and then Psalm 40 came to mind and I started humming U2.  I'm writing this midday because I didn't sleep really at all and am taking a break from sorting through stuff in the condo. As I read this barely awake this morning I began to think about it while painting the bathroom.  How many time's have I cried out to God to rescue me when I've fallen, how many times have I not understood how i could be doing so well and just fall flat on my face. As I continued the 2nd coat, it hit me. Sure I might get into all kinds of trouble and be all pissed off at myself for doing or saying, thinking, planning, reacting, whatever things. I keep on expecting God to be before me but He's saying the latter.  He wants me seeking Him and then I'll find victory.  He'll allow me to screw up only to indicate how much I need to keep focused.  I keep on expecting him to drag me out of whatever I got myself into and then I get all mad.  Hits me, He's already rescued me on the cross and I keep on either forgetting about it, not caring, or refuse to believe it. I have to work on not thinking that I've sought him enough and am fine now. I had Erin Brokovich on today while plugging away at this place, and she had no training just a passion for what was right and just and she didn't give up, they won the case. I'm not theologian, man I suck at grammar. But I know what I believe to be truth and I strive to believe on a daily basis regardless the circumstance. God's pursuing me by cleaning out these areas that are in between us, I just have to pursue him back to be victorious. No more rational crap, I'm not fooling God, I can't. I'm reminded of Bilboe in Fellowship of the Ring, when Gandolf had him give the ring back and you saw this sober, disappointed look come over Bilboe's face, his whole trip was ruined and he knew it had to be like that, he knew it was right. I think to myself what my ring is, man I feel like I have a bunch of 'em.  I obviously can't handle them only God can because He's the only one that can give me victory over them. In those moments I'm thankful I can txt a few brothers to help get these rings off me. lol, like a fellowship.