Sunday, October 2, 2011

Isn't there an off switch to this fear thing?

“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.” Proverbs 29:25 NLT

AAh this verse, this applied more when I was in school.  I also see how it can help today with the state of our economy. Sip some coffee, Today I turn 35, wow. Do I feel it? yes. Do I look it, not sure, people still tell me I look 25 which is a good thing. I find out every time I get a hair cut and see the gray hairs fall to the ground. I made it, I'm still alive, lol. I work today, but yesterday I went to see my grandpa and grandma kinkel.  It was such a nice time, They are still as bubbly and perky as I remember them.  They knew who I was but didn't know where they were. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I was a sweet little boy growing up, not good at sports except running, not really good in school except for some electives, I practically failed typing class, only to discover it after the semester ended. These mistakes set me up for a lot of rejection, and boy did it come, so I shut my mouth during class and kept my thoughts for things that mattered. I read and think. I read and think. Hits me. Fearing people is such a hidden disease, I do it more than I think I do. Back in the day I feared being stupid asking a dumb question, now I fear losing my job or getting a ticket, my plans being destroyed, my family being harmed. I fear different things that deserve to be feared. As I see comb my hair and see the silver lining appear, I find myself catching up with my younger brother. I've come a long way with dealing with fear, I don't fear as much as I did. I read and think.  I see a cycle here, I fear and fall then I trust and feel safe, then I lose faith and begin to fear again and I learn to trust, lol. Hits me, sure I can fear all I want (just stock up on tums) and not feel safe but alone.  God is safe and wants me to feel safe with him, and take care of the fears for me as long as I give them over to him and not care about what they are, what people think, or what is to come. Why can't He just flip the off switch to this fear thing? Be done with it.  Hits me again, He is the off switch.  By seeking Him he removes the fear only to show me on daily basis that he's safe and that it's ok to ask stupid questions because He's designed me to learn and grow in Him without fear but with faith.

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