As long as things are going my way, God? I'll know you love me

“We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” 1 John 4:16 NLT

I have to really, read this one over and over, a lot of love and live in this one. Almost a tongue twister. I slept ok, last night. Actually terrible, was pretty much up all night with the kid, mainly up at 2 am until 4 then back to bed at 5 am.  Sip some coffee, I get so insecure about blogging these, like I'm totally out of context but then I remember God speaks to me.  Do I really know how much God loves me? Sometime I do and sometimes I don't. I'll never forget someone helping me move one time and cutting themselves in the process. It hits me, they shed blood for me. I find myself not putting my trust in His love but in my to do list,  in a future vacation, in a goal I have set.  I find myself thinking I can't wait to be completely moved out of this apartment. I can't wait to catch up on sleep, then I'll be fine. Hits me, Regardless of how lack of sleep and tired I am and how much stuff I have going on in my family and life, God is showing me His love for me, through each event and situation I face, and how He grinds away at me to let Him love me and all the sudden I see His love and how He's living in me.