See No evil, Hear No evil

“All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.””John 3:20-21 NLT

I almost thought this was a repeating verse but its not. Being a christian as long as I have, I have found myself choosing evil because I was tired of being in the light and could care less. I slept good last night. I'm still tired but I didn't get woken up, so thats the good part, I find these days, that I don't care what time it is, if I have a chance for sleep I'll take it. Apartment is about done finally, a few more trips, some cleaning and I'm done, over the next months hopefully only October, I'll have gone through my junk that I saved over the past 30 whatever years and I have a better place for my family.  I read and think, I read and think. I start thinking of the people I know who do evil and like it and then I think of myself of when I do evil but I hate it. Then I find when I do the right thing, I feel better about myself, and I really don't care that others saw me do it, I just wanted to do the right thing because I don't want to feel guilty. I get confused about that a lot. Because sometimes when I turn to the dark side and hate it and am upset that I went there for a moment, God uses that weakness and shows other's how He can work in that way too. I read and think. I'm reminded of a documentary I put together last year of a guy I met on facebook named Dennis Gable.  He wasn't raised to live in the light but ended up living in the light. He now tells his story to thousands of kids around the country. My story isn't like Dennis's but its there. I read and think, I read and think. I see such a cycle in this thing, Hits me. I want to fix myself so that I can keep in the light where I feel the best, but God isn't like that, He's going to continue to work on the areas I need help in the most to show me, that I need Him. It'll be painful and it'll be easy at times but that's God's way of showing others that I'm striving to do what He wants.

Below is the link to Dennis Gables documentary.

Dennis Gable