“My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous.” 1 John 2:1 NLT
At first I'm thinking, so you're giving me an attorney who has never done what I've done and can't relate? that doesn't make any sense. Didn't sleep well, another long night, but I slept a little. Sip some coffee, something about the smell of coffee in the morning. I read and think, I read and think. I'm gunna sin, regardless of how victorious and free I feel in the moment and how close to God I feel. I will eventually fall flat on my face again, thinking I could handle thing without Him because I am so close to Him. Thats how He designed this life, for me to understand that I can't do anything without Him. The moment I think I'm clear to go on my own, the moment He'll show me I'm not. Hits me, imagine if I lost my smell for coffee, it would be disastrous. Yet when I sin, I find my whole life gets fussy and smokey. When I have victory, all the senses come back. Hits me again, in those dark moments, when I feel completely trapped and alone, are the moments where Christ is with me, He's the only one that walked in my shoes (unfortunately I don't discover this till its too late at times). He's the one who can only give me the smell of coffee back each time.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Why are you smiling? Smiling's my favorite! all my problems go away!
“So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-36 NLT
Sip some coffee, really tired this morning, hopefully rest today on my day off. Going to see Grandpa Kinkel today. I've been thinking about our Kinkel family lately and where all my cousins are in life. This is another one of those scriptures I don't like to read because it makes me face my problems. I really wish at times I could simply smile and my issues would go away. I read and think, I read and think. Sip more coffee, it's so crazy of how the sinful life I left and gave to Christ, looks so enticing at times. I read and think, I find my self thinking of Bilboe in Lord of the Rings, reaching for the ring in his pocket "oh this ring right here, in my pocket". How many times when my confidence was either gone or very close to being gone, do I wish I had a Gandolf appear immediately. Hits me, when I feel I'm fighting myself to do the right thing, or have no will power to give an effort, God becomes my confidence, my patient endurance, to help me in that time of need. Even if I fall, He doesn't care, He's still there just as He promised.
Sip some coffee, really tired this morning, hopefully rest today on my day off. Going to see Grandpa Kinkel today. I've been thinking about our Kinkel family lately and where all my cousins are in life. This is another one of those scriptures I don't like to read because it makes me face my problems. I really wish at times I could simply smile and my issues would go away. I read and think, I read and think. Sip more coffee, it's so crazy of how the sinful life I left and gave to Christ, looks so enticing at times. I read and think, I find my self thinking of Bilboe in Lord of the Rings, reaching for the ring in his pocket "oh this ring right here, in my pocket". How many times when my confidence was either gone or very close to being gone, do I wish I had a Gandolf appear immediately. Hits me, when I feel I'm fighting myself to do the right thing, or have no will power to give an effort, God becomes my confidence, my patient endurance, to help me in that time of need. Even if I fall, He doesn't care, He's still there just as He promised.
Friday, September 23, 2011
My "Standin on the Corner" mug
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” Romans 5:3-4 NLT
It's been a busy, tiring week. No energy but to survive work. Starbucks is a good help though, and the apartment is nearing its end. Thank God for craig's list, I've been selling, selling, selling. Scriptures like this drive me crazy at times. I want validation not instructions, I don't care how you word it, it's telling me I should be happy when my day or week sucks. One thing effects another, of course i understand that, duh. As I briefly read the verses this week that I didn't post, I realized how often I just don't read them and don't apply them. I read and think, sip some coffee, read and think. Using my "standin on the corner" mug. A mug my mother in-law gave me for christmas a while back. The Eagle's song "take it easy". It's a long walk through endurance, it's so tempting (sometimes beyond tempting) to just throw in the towel and jump into sin (whatever it may be). I always try to make an effort to listen to oldies on fridays. To relax regardless of the day I'm having. I'm amazed of the battle I have with my thoughts and my mind. What happens when I fall, is God going to punish, then do I worry about what will happen to my family because of my failure? Hits me, I have to remember that God is always God and a jealous one. Regardless of how I feel about how I feel, he's developing endurance and allowing and helping me write this blog. Sure I'm tired and frustrated, upset, but God's not like me and thats the point. He's making me like Him, regardless of how I feel about myself at the time or not.
It's been a busy, tiring week. No energy but to survive work. Starbucks is a good help though, and the apartment is nearing its end. Thank God for craig's list, I've been selling, selling, selling. Scriptures like this drive me crazy at times. I want validation not instructions, I don't care how you word it, it's telling me I should be happy when my day or week sucks. One thing effects another, of course i understand that, duh. As I briefly read the verses this week that I didn't post, I realized how often I just don't read them and don't apply them. I read and think, sip some coffee, read and think. Using my "standin on the corner" mug. A mug my mother in-law gave me for christmas a while back. The Eagle's song "take it easy". It's a long walk through endurance, it's so tempting (sometimes beyond tempting) to just throw in the towel and jump into sin (whatever it may be). I always try to make an effort to listen to oldies on fridays. To relax regardless of the day I'm having. I'm amazed of the battle I have with my thoughts and my mind. What happens when I fall, is God going to punish, then do I worry about what will happen to my family because of my failure? Hits me, I have to remember that God is always God and a jealous one. Regardless of how I feel about how I feel, he's developing endurance and allowing and helping me write this blog. Sure I'm tired and frustrated, upset, but God's not like me and thats the point. He's making me like Him, regardless of how I feel about myself at the time or not.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Oh Fuuuuuuuudge
“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Ephesians 4:29 NLT
Oh great not this one! I still have trouble believing they cussed and stuff in the bible times, but apparently they did. I begin to laugh at what we used to consider foul language back in the day. I slept well last night, really trying to get to bed earlier, now that we're in the condo, not quite settled yet, still a number of things to unpack, get rid of, I have only 2 weeks left to get everything out of the apartment (sold hopefully). We're really looking at rebooting our family and starting fresh in this place. I'll never forget being in Pasadena with relatives back in the 80's sometime and shooting hoops with my cousin Jason and his neighbor, his neighbor cussed so much that I bet him if I could make a basket from the road then he would promise me he would quick cussing. Now this was no flat driveway, it was totally curved down, so I had to really put my all into this shot, and if you know me, I'm not really good. I made it!! He didn't swear for the rest of our shooting time. Everyone tells me that was God, lol. I read and think and I read and think. I'm amazed of how at times I'm such a good swearer, the words come out like I've been doing it for years. Yet it's not like me to swear. When I was younger I learned it from my peers, when I was older from my co-workers. Sure I grew up in a great christian home, they didn't matter. My friends Doug, Dave, and I edited the swearing out of Dumb and Dumber back in '97 (that was a lot of fun). I read and think, for some reason every time I let the words come out of my mouth, I felt a pinch on my heart. Hits me, sometimes a cuss word just relieves me of how I'm feeling at the moment. Sometimes I just want to yell at God and let Him have it. I think after I speak not before. I've never felt good about myself after being cussed at by someone (I've usually deserved it) but it never made feel good about myself. It's like the saying "stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" that's a bunch of $#%#$^@. Oops, sorry. Hits me again, the more consistent I am with reading these daily verses the less desire I have to use abusive language, sure they slip out accidentally at times but not nearly as often. I guess it's God's way of clearing things up to make me more like Him, boy this is a long process.
Oh great not this one! I still have trouble believing they cussed and stuff in the bible times, but apparently they did. I begin to laugh at what we used to consider foul language back in the day. I slept well last night, really trying to get to bed earlier, now that we're in the condo, not quite settled yet, still a number of things to unpack, get rid of, I have only 2 weeks left to get everything out of the apartment (sold hopefully). We're really looking at rebooting our family and starting fresh in this place. I'll never forget being in Pasadena with relatives back in the 80's sometime and shooting hoops with my cousin Jason and his neighbor, his neighbor cussed so much that I bet him if I could make a basket from the road then he would promise me he would quick cussing. Now this was no flat driveway, it was totally curved down, so I had to really put my all into this shot, and if you know me, I'm not really good. I made it!! He didn't swear for the rest of our shooting time. Everyone tells me that was God, lol. I read and think and I read and think. I'm amazed of how at times I'm such a good swearer, the words come out like I've been doing it for years. Yet it's not like me to swear. When I was younger I learned it from my peers, when I was older from my co-workers. Sure I grew up in a great christian home, they didn't matter. My friends Doug, Dave, and I edited the swearing out of Dumb and Dumber back in '97 (that was a lot of fun). I read and think, for some reason every time I let the words come out of my mouth, I felt a pinch on my heart. Hits me, sometimes a cuss word just relieves me of how I'm feeling at the moment. Sometimes I just want to yell at God and let Him have it. I think after I speak not before. I've never felt good about myself after being cussed at by someone (I've usually deserved it) but it never made feel good about myself. It's like the saying "stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" that's a bunch of $#%#$^@. Oops, sorry. Hits me again, the more consistent I am with reading these daily verses the less desire I have to use abusive language, sure they slip out accidentally at times but not nearly as often. I guess it's God's way of clearing things up to make me more like Him, boy this is a long process.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
It's My Money and I want it now!
“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” Philippians 2:3-4 NLT
Don't be selfish? LOL, oh c'mon, next verse please. I all the sudden feel like I'm 5 again and my mom's looking down at me, telling me to share my toys. I got some rest last night, got in late, but still slept ok. Daughter woke up at 4 and wanted breakfast, then went back to bed. I also think of that retarded and annoying JG Wentworth commercial "It's my money and I want it now". I don't look at myself as a selfish person, but I have tried to impress people, I have trouble with humility, I'm pretty balanced with the interests thing too. I read and think, I read and think. In the audio visual industry back in the day, sure you could be selfish and demand you only did a certain thing. Now in the weakness of the economy, if I'm not willing to put my ego on the ground help other's out, I'm black listed. Hits me, I thought I was fine in these areas, and thats exactly why He's reminding me today, don't be fooled, be careful, watch yourself. This is a very critical part of my life every day not to be joked with, there's so many elements to it. If I crash on one thing, it's a domino effect and before I know it, my prides gone, I didn't impress anyone, I feel like an idiot, I'm mad, I want out, and I'm praying for the one thing I should have in the beginning, Christ's attitude, and everyone is looking at me like I'm 5.
Don't be selfish? LOL, oh c'mon, next verse please. I all the sudden feel like I'm 5 again and my mom's looking down at me, telling me to share my toys. I got some rest last night, got in late, but still slept ok. Daughter woke up at 4 and wanted breakfast, then went back to bed. I also think of that retarded and annoying JG Wentworth commercial "It's my money and I want it now". I don't look at myself as a selfish person, but I have tried to impress people, I have trouble with humility, I'm pretty balanced with the interests thing too. I read and think, I read and think. In the audio visual industry back in the day, sure you could be selfish and demand you only did a certain thing. Now in the weakness of the economy, if I'm not willing to put my ego on the ground help other's out, I'm black listed. Hits me, I thought I was fine in these areas, and thats exactly why He's reminding me today, don't be fooled, be careful, watch yourself. This is a very critical part of my life every day not to be joked with, there's so many elements to it. If I crash on one thing, it's a domino effect and before I know it, my prides gone, I didn't impress anyone, I feel like an idiot, I'm mad, I want out, and I'm praying for the one thing I should have in the beginning, Christ's attitude, and everyone is looking at me like I'm 5.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Son of UHH....that's gunna leave a mark!
Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children.” Ephesians 5:1 NLT
I finally got some Starbucks bags on sale and with coupons. A regular 12 oz. bag usually at $10.99 I got for 5.99!! So screw this folgers crap and now I'm set for a while I got 4 bags. When I read this verse for the first time in High school, I always thought how I loved imitating people, namely bad commercials on Tv, namely the law commercials or Ace Ventura, Tommy Boy, etc. I love to laugh. As I read and think, sip my Starbucks, (man this stuff is nicer). I hits me about how when I spend time with someone I start reacting and imitating them, their posture, their phrases, their character, everything. I find when I spend time with God, I do the same thing, but I seem to make it more complicated, I fear what the other people will think if I offer to pray for them. Then it hits me again, Do I think God thought of that before He sent His son down? He didn't care, He knew what we needed regardless of what we thought. Hits me harder, Sure I can imitate characters in a movie, people I know, sure it can be funny, but when it's time to love someone and show them that Christ loves them, can I imitate His character? Am I imitating His character? Not always. I have to remember as his child He made me just the way He wanted to and will imitate himself just the way He wants.
I finally got some Starbucks bags on sale and with coupons. A regular 12 oz. bag usually at $10.99 I got for 5.99!! So screw this folgers crap and now I'm set for a while I got 4 bags. When I read this verse for the first time in High school, I always thought how I loved imitating people, namely bad commercials on Tv, namely the law commercials or Ace Ventura, Tommy Boy, etc. I love to laugh. As I read and think, sip my Starbucks, (man this stuff is nicer). I hits me about how when I spend time with someone I start reacting and imitating them, their posture, their phrases, their character, everything. I find when I spend time with God, I do the same thing, but I seem to make it more complicated, I fear what the other people will think if I offer to pray for them. Then it hits me again, Do I think God thought of that before He sent His son down? He didn't care, He knew what we needed regardless of what we thought. Hits me harder, Sure I can imitate characters in a movie, people I know, sure it can be funny, but when it's time to love someone and show them that Christ loves them, can I imitate His character? Am I imitating His character? Not always. I have to remember as his child He made me just the way He wanted to and will imitate himself just the way He wants.
Friday, September 16, 2011
God, I'm mad, I don't want to talk today
If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.” James 3:13 NLT
I don't really want to do this anymore because I'm upset this morning. Sometime's I feel like a missionary writing these. I get discouraged, what are people thinking, they're getting bored of this. I can only imagine being over seas and getting discouraged and just wanting to throw in the towel. I find myself wanting to harm myself when I get upset and down. I have found myself all my life reading scripture and interpreting it the way I was taught but is that correct? What is God telling me? I read and think, I read and think. I find myself thinking back to the moments that I took out the instructions to build a lego set and followed it to the tee, everything worked great. I then recall being in school, hearing what the instructions for what was on the upcoming test and not believing it or trusting it, resulting in me not passing. Sure I know God's ways and understand them. But can I live an honorable life, and do what He says? Not always. I remember having the hardest time admitting I was wrong. It's easier now that I'm older, but it kills me that it took me 20 some years to get there. Getting the desire to read this scripture this morning was a pain. I did it in disbelief. I don't understand God's way's a lot and sometimes I do. Some how he always helps me, (even when I stray) live honorably. I feel like I'm an angry dog on a leash at times that the owner is pulling away from a fight. He slowly teaches me humility and grace to as He lets me cool off and enjoy His presence. How do I title something like this, I don't think this makes any sense.
I don't really want to do this anymore because I'm upset this morning. Sometime's I feel like a missionary writing these. I get discouraged, what are people thinking, they're getting bored of this. I can only imagine being over seas and getting discouraged and just wanting to throw in the towel. I find myself wanting to harm myself when I get upset and down. I have found myself all my life reading scripture and interpreting it the way I was taught but is that correct? What is God telling me? I read and think, I read and think. I find myself thinking back to the moments that I took out the instructions to build a lego set and followed it to the tee, everything worked great. I then recall being in school, hearing what the instructions for what was on the upcoming test and not believing it or trusting it, resulting in me not passing. Sure I know God's ways and understand them. But can I live an honorable life, and do what He says? Not always. I remember having the hardest time admitting I was wrong. It's easier now that I'm older, but it kills me that it took me 20 some years to get there. Getting the desire to read this scripture this morning was a pain. I did it in disbelief. I don't understand God's way's a lot and sometimes I do. Some how he always helps me, (even when I stray) live honorably. I feel like I'm an angry dog on a leash at times that the owner is pulling away from a fight. He slowly teaches me humility and grace to as He lets me cool off and enjoy His presence. How do I title something like this, I don't think this makes any sense.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
As long as things are going my way, God? I'll know you love me
“We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” 1 John 4:16 NLT
I have to really, read this one over and over, a lot of love and live in this one. Almost a tongue twister. I slept ok, last night. Actually terrible, was pretty much up all night with the kid, mainly up at 2 am until 4 then back to bed at 5 am. Sip some coffee, I get so insecure about blogging these, like I'm totally out of context but then I remember God speaks to me. Do I really know how much God loves me? Sometime I do and sometimes I don't. I'll never forget someone helping me move one time and cutting themselves in the process. It hits me, they shed blood for me. I find myself not putting my trust in His love but in my to do list, in a future vacation, in a goal I have set. I find myself thinking I can't wait to be completely moved out of this apartment. I can't wait to catch up on sleep, then I'll be fine. Hits me, Regardless of how lack of sleep and tired I am and how much stuff I have going on in my family and life, God is showing me His love for me, through each event and situation I face, and how He grinds away at me to let Him love me and all the sudden I see His love and how He's living in me.
I have to really, read this one over and over, a lot of love and live in this one. Almost a tongue twister. I slept ok, last night. Actually terrible, was pretty much up all night with the kid, mainly up at 2 am until 4 then back to bed at 5 am. Sip some coffee, I get so insecure about blogging these, like I'm totally out of context but then I remember God speaks to me. Do I really know how much God loves me? Sometime I do and sometimes I don't. I'll never forget someone helping me move one time and cutting themselves in the process. It hits me, they shed blood for me. I find myself not putting my trust in His love but in my to do list, in a future vacation, in a goal I have set. I find myself thinking I can't wait to be completely moved out of this apartment. I can't wait to catch up on sleep, then I'll be fine. Hits me, Regardless of how lack of sleep and tired I am and how much stuff I have going on in my family and life, God is showing me His love for me, through each event and situation I face, and how He grinds away at me to let Him love me and all the sudden I see His love and how He's living in me.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I chose Christ, but I still envy people who haven't
“Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.” Philippians 2:1-2 NLT
There have been many moments in my life when I just wanted to and have thrown in the towel to living for Christ. It was just too hard, too many struggles, too many opinions, too many unanswered questions. When I first read this verse, I was just like, good question. Long night of work again, didn't sleep well, very tired and early morning. Onto my second cup of coffee already. Just tired, Alot of stuff to do before getting into work. I read and think, I read and think. Why did I accept Christ? I think why did I repent? Do I get comfort from Him? I am I tender and compassionate? Why choose Christ? Why do I envy people who aren't saved yet? I read and think, could I create this peace inside me without God? I know I'd feel very empty. I'm so practical that I would always be searching for that completeness everywhere. I do remember being in Jr. High and every time someone would share the gospel, I was always hoping that it would the moment where God would open my eyes, just clear it all up. Is Christ the answer for getting along with people and other believers, I know nice people who aren't saved that get along with everyone. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. Sure, I can drink, watch a movie, listen to a good song, read a good book, browse the headlines, go on a walk, on a drive, get out of town, do I what I love to do for a living, have a healthy family, get along with everyone, get acknowledged. Sure I can do all that, but they eventually end, all temporary. When I asked Christ to come into my life, and finally let Him fill that empty spot, He actually opened the eyes of my heart to see Him glorified through everything I did and do. Somethings that hurt and harmed me, He removed the interest, other things he grew the interest, and introduced me to new things I would have never thought of. This life is far from easy. I can't stand it at times, the temptations seem to never end, I'm tired, He's constantly giving me chances to surrender to Him, and without that there would be no purpose in this life.
There have been many moments in my life when I just wanted to and have thrown in the towel to living for Christ. It was just too hard, too many struggles, too many opinions, too many unanswered questions. When I first read this verse, I was just like, good question. Long night of work again, didn't sleep well, very tired and early morning. Onto my second cup of coffee already. Just tired, Alot of stuff to do before getting into work. I read and think, I read and think. Why did I accept Christ? I think why did I repent? Do I get comfort from Him? I am I tender and compassionate? Why choose Christ? Why do I envy people who aren't saved yet? I read and think, could I create this peace inside me without God? I know I'd feel very empty. I'm so practical that I would always be searching for that completeness everywhere. I do remember being in Jr. High and every time someone would share the gospel, I was always hoping that it would the moment where God would open my eyes, just clear it all up. Is Christ the answer for getting along with people and other believers, I know nice people who aren't saved that get along with everyone. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. Sure, I can drink, watch a movie, listen to a good song, read a good book, browse the headlines, go on a walk, on a drive, get out of town, do I what I love to do for a living, have a healthy family, get along with everyone, get acknowledged. Sure I can do all that, but they eventually end, all temporary. When I asked Christ to come into my life, and finally let Him fill that empty spot, He actually opened the eyes of my heart to see Him glorified through everything I did and do. Somethings that hurt and harmed me, He removed the interest, other things he grew the interest, and introduced me to new things I would have never thought of. This life is far from easy. I can't stand it at times, the temptations seem to never end, I'm tired, He's constantly giving me chances to surrender to Him, and without that there would be no purpose in this life.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Christians that don't get along?.......LOL, that never happens.
“[All Christians] Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.” 1 Peter 3:8 NLT
LOL. This one makes me laugh out loud. It reminds me of when I ask my mom what she wanted for her birthday, she'd reply "good kids". Long night of work (butting heads with coworkers), and my daughter woke up at midnight ready for the day and wouldn't back to sleep until 3 am. So I'm tired this morning, really tired again. Coffee's is slowly kicking in. This also brings to mind, the church lady from Saturday Night live, the Book "So you don't want to go to church anymore", and one I haven't read yet, "When Bad Christians happen to Good People" come to mind. I read and think, I read and think, a lot of thoughts come to mind. I laugh at the fact that I have to be told how to treat other fellow christians, yet I know that I have judged so many in my life, I can say that I'm good at sympathy and tenderhearted. Now that I am older it's easier to be humble, back in the day? forget it. I only loved another christian if I felt like it, or the chemistry at the moment was good. I think of all of the christians I have burned, I think about that a lot actually. I think of all the non christians I have a hard time loving. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. When I'm setting up for a shot with my camera, I know the specs and exactly how to frame, the buttons to push to make the shot look beautiful. Sure it's seems impossible at times to actually love my fellow brothers and sisters, but God has given me the specs right here, and with only His help with these specs can I be of one mind with everyone. Now to title this. Thinking of a title for these is always tough.
LOL. This one makes me laugh out loud. It reminds me of when I ask my mom what she wanted for her birthday, she'd reply "good kids". Long night of work (butting heads with coworkers), and my daughter woke up at midnight ready for the day and wouldn't back to sleep until 3 am. So I'm tired this morning, really tired again. Coffee's is slowly kicking in. This also brings to mind, the church lady from Saturday Night live, the Book "So you don't want to go to church anymore", and one I haven't read yet, "When Bad Christians happen to Good People" come to mind. I read and think, I read and think, a lot of thoughts come to mind. I laugh at the fact that I have to be told how to treat other fellow christians, yet I know that I have judged so many in my life, I can say that I'm good at sympathy and tenderhearted. Now that I am older it's easier to be humble, back in the day? forget it. I only loved another christian if I felt like it, or the chemistry at the moment was good. I think of all of the christians I have burned, I think about that a lot actually. I think of all the non christians I have a hard time loving. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. When I'm setting up for a shot with my camera, I know the specs and exactly how to frame, the buttons to push to make the shot look beautiful. Sure it's seems impossible at times to actually love my fellow brothers and sisters, but God has given me the specs right here, and with only His help with these specs can I be of one mind with everyone. Now to title this. Thinking of a title for these is always tough.
Monday, September 12, 2011
ok God! Happy now?
“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!”Philippians 4:4 NLT
Hmmm. These little ones always trick me. I just don't know what to think of them at times. I always thought this meant "be happy about God all the time". I only put 6 hrs in at work again last night. So I was able to get to bed earlier, I don't feel too bad this morning. Sip some coffee, I'm a pretty happy person generally, always finding laughter in things, I'm optimistic, I don't see the need to worry or doubt. I read and think, I read and think. I find myself thinking way back to Midwest camp days when I was something like 13 and I was witnessing all these people being so happy in God. I wanted there happiness so bad. I was a happy person but I didn't have what they had. So I thought, maybe if I just try saying the phrases they said so much a lot. That didn't work, I practicing saying the phrases "Praise the Lord, Praise Jesus, Glory to God", but it just didn't come as naturally as it came from them. Then I think of a tragedy like September 11, how do you rejoice over and over about that? Hits me, sure I can live this life and pursue the goals my wife and I have developed for our family and they could happen. I can go day after day striving to have joy in God regardless of the circumstances I get into and look at God and say "Happy now?" Hits me again, God gives me the joy for Him, when I make my life about Him. Everything, regardless if I consider it bad or good, unfolds, revealing His glory and those phrases end up just coming out as they please.
Hmmm. These little ones always trick me. I just don't know what to think of them at times. I always thought this meant "be happy about God all the time". I only put 6 hrs in at work again last night. So I was able to get to bed earlier, I don't feel too bad this morning. Sip some coffee, I'm a pretty happy person generally, always finding laughter in things, I'm optimistic, I don't see the need to worry or doubt. I read and think, I read and think. I find myself thinking way back to Midwest camp days when I was something like 13 and I was witnessing all these people being so happy in God. I wanted there happiness so bad. I was a happy person but I didn't have what they had. So I thought, maybe if I just try saying the phrases they said so much a lot. That didn't work, I practicing saying the phrases "Praise the Lord, Praise Jesus, Glory to God", but it just didn't come as naturally as it came from them. Then I think of a tragedy like September 11, how do you rejoice over and over about that? Hits me, sure I can live this life and pursue the goals my wife and I have developed for our family and they could happen. I can go day after day striving to have joy in God regardless of the circumstances I get into and look at God and say "Happy now?" Hits me again, God gives me the joy for Him, when I make my life about Him. Everything, regardless if I consider it bad or good, unfolds, revealing His glory and those phrases end up just coming out as they please.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Coffee and God
“[A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem.] I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!” Psalm 121:1-2 NLT
Every time I read this verse I think of the Sound of Music. I always picture the mother singing climb every mountain in her office. I slept ok, daughter woke up around 2:30 and finally an hr later I fed her pancakes, and then she went back to sleep. Internets been shaky lately, I think its a bad cable. It's also September 11th today. Sip some coffee, I read and think. More coffee, I read and think. As I drink this coffee I think of how much I rely on it on a daily basis. I look forward to it in the morning, drink a cup and 1/2 until I'm awake and its water for the rest of the day or if I have time, rest. I read and think, hits me. Drinking coffee in the morning doesn't draw me closer to God, but, it does wake me up to focus on God. God can use so many different things to draw me closer to Him: nature, movies, music, traveling, trials, insecurities, his son, etc. I remember going to Bible School in Germany back in 95 fearing I was leaving God back in America, only to find out He was there waiting for me. Hits me again, He shows himself to me so many times through my viewfinder and when I'm editing, I'm amazed of how backwards I was thinking, and how He was showing me Himself through the very skills and interests He gave me.
Every time I read this verse I think of the Sound of Music. I always picture the mother singing climb every mountain in her office. I slept ok, daughter woke up around 2:30 and finally an hr later I fed her pancakes, and then she went back to sleep. Internets been shaky lately, I think its a bad cable. It's also September 11th today. Sip some coffee, I read and think. More coffee, I read and think. As I drink this coffee I think of how much I rely on it on a daily basis. I look forward to it in the morning, drink a cup and 1/2 until I'm awake and its water for the rest of the day or if I have time, rest. I read and think, hits me. Drinking coffee in the morning doesn't draw me closer to God, but, it does wake me up to focus on God. God can use so many different things to draw me closer to Him: nature, movies, music, traveling, trials, insecurities, his son, etc. I remember going to Bible School in Germany back in 95 fearing I was leaving God back in America, only to find out He was there waiting for me. Hits me again, He shows himself to me so many times through my viewfinder and when I'm editing, I'm amazed of how backwards I was thinking, and how He was showing me Himself through the very skills and interests He gave me.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
My Promise Keepers mug
“I will be your God throughout your lifetime— until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” Isaiah 46:4 NLT
This is one of those "general verses", I'm thinking "of course I know this, I've read these types of verses throughout the bible all my life. I slept pretty well last night. I upgraded to some better coffee yesterday, and it seems to be satisfying me this morning. I'm using my Promise Keepers mug this morning. I read and think, I read and think. Sip some coffee, I find myself always taking for granted the people who have always been there, namely God. Regardless how many times I drifted away from Him, He would always be there. I had fear too, if I screw up, He'll really teach me a lesson. I read and I think, hits me. I am getting older, my hair is slowly getting gray, my body isn't like it was back in High School. As I correspond with friends from back then on Facebook, I watch us all just aging together, I'm not alone. Hits me. Regardless of how old I get, how many pains I notice in my body and my life, what decisions I make, what attitudes I have, how many gray's I count, God will use every moment of everyday to give me an opportunity to show me how he is carrying me along and saving me. I got my Promise Keepers mug back in 2006 or 07, when the organization was in Phoenix (are they even still around?), it was a cool event I guess, but more than that, just the concept of letting God live His life in me is the deal breaker. I really need a hair cut.
This is one of those "general verses", I'm thinking "of course I know this, I've read these types of verses throughout the bible all my life. I slept pretty well last night. I upgraded to some better coffee yesterday, and it seems to be satisfying me this morning. I'm using my Promise Keepers mug this morning. I read and think, I read and think. Sip some coffee, I find myself always taking for granted the people who have always been there, namely God. Regardless how many times I drifted away from Him, He would always be there. I had fear too, if I screw up, He'll really teach me a lesson. I read and I think, hits me. I am getting older, my hair is slowly getting gray, my body isn't like it was back in High School. As I correspond with friends from back then on Facebook, I watch us all just aging together, I'm not alone. Hits me. Regardless of how old I get, how many pains I notice in my body and my life, what decisions I make, what attitudes I have, how many gray's I count, God will use every moment of everyday to give me an opportunity to show me how he is carrying me along and saving me. I got my Promise Keepers mug back in 2006 or 07, when the organization was in Phoenix (are they even still around?), it was a cool event I guess, but more than that, just the concept of letting God live His life in me is the deal breaker. I really need a hair cut.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Daydream believer
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.” Psalm 143:10 NLT
I can't tell you how many times I have heard something like this phrase throughout my life. I feel like the teacher is saying "listen and think" and I'm still just day dreaming. I'm tired this morning, had a nice time with the family last night. Stocked up on more coffee but it's a little weak, so I'm regretting trying to save a few bucks. It hit me yesterday of what a difference writing my thoughts and about these verses and sharing them online has helped me grow in God. It's awkward but for some reason I've seen a big change in myself. Dang, I'm already on my 2nd cup, this coffee does suck. I read and think and read and think. The phrase "going in one ear and coming out the other" keeps on coming to mind. How many times did I hear that one growing up? I never understood what that meant either. Sip more crappy coffee. I read and think, hits me. The more I think of how different and weird I am, the more I feel I'm just the way He wants me to be, thats why He wants me to search Him out. And teach me to do His will because He has such a unique plan for my life.
I can't tell you how many times I have heard something like this phrase throughout my life. I feel like the teacher is saying "listen and think" and I'm still just day dreaming. I'm tired this morning, had a nice time with the family last night. Stocked up on more coffee but it's a little weak, so I'm regretting trying to save a few bucks. It hit me yesterday of what a difference writing my thoughts and about these verses and sharing them online has helped me grow in God. It's awkward but for some reason I've seen a big change in myself. Dang, I'm already on my 2nd cup, this coffee does suck. I read and think and read and think. The phrase "going in one ear and coming out the other" keeps on coming to mind. How many times did I hear that one growing up? I never understood what that meant either. Sip more crappy coffee. I read and think, hits me. The more I think of how different and weird I am, the more I feel I'm just the way He wants me to be, thats why He wants me to search Him out. And teach me to do His will because He has such a unique plan for my life.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
People aren't things? Huh?
“So we tell others about Christ, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all the wisdom God has given us. We want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship to Christ.”Colossians 1:28 NLT
As I read this one, it's like I'm over hearing someone telling what they've been up to to someone else. They speak so naturally. Like its just another day. I slept ok last night, sipping coffee this morning, I actually need to stock up on more. I'm finding that my to do list just keeps growing and I ask myself is it just going to end up being a bunch of things written down on my palm pilot (yes I still have a palm pilot)? I read and think, I read and think. Sip some coffee, I hear Christ's name in vain all the time at work (don't we all). Actually its a rule in hospitality that you don't talk religion, because it stirs up conflict. I do when I feel it won't though. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. I'm backwards again. Sure I can talk to people about God and feel like I've got to sale real well and then stress out about how they are doing, but, God wants me to give them over to Him, not add them to my to do list, of people I need to take care. I remember when I was at Bible School and hearing about so many problems people had. I found myself taking it all on and getting overwhelmed. Hits me again. Uh Nathan, thats what Christ did on the cross already, so give them back to Him, thats what He's for. Hits me again. I have to quit thinking, that God never knew about them until I met them. He knows everyone and is looking to grow both of us into relationship with Him everyday.
As I read this one, it's like I'm over hearing someone telling what they've been up to to someone else. They speak so naturally. Like its just another day. I slept ok last night, sipping coffee this morning, I actually need to stock up on more. I'm finding that my to do list just keeps growing and I ask myself is it just going to end up being a bunch of things written down on my palm pilot (yes I still have a palm pilot)? I read and think, I read and think. Sip some coffee, I hear Christ's name in vain all the time at work (don't we all). Actually its a rule in hospitality that you don't talk religion, because it stirs up conflict. I do when I feel it won't though. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. I'm backwards again. Sure I can talk to people about God and feel like I've got to sale real well and then stress out about how they are doing, but, God wants me to give them over to Him, not add them to my to do list, of people I need to take care. I remember when I was at Bible School and hearing about so many problems people had. I found myself taking it all on and getting overwhelmed. Hits me again. Uh Nathan, thats what Christ did on the cross already, so give them back to Him, thats what He's for. Hits me again. I have to quit thinking, that God never knew about them until I met them. He knows everyone and is looking to grow both of us into relationship with Him everyday.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
God, follow my lead and I won't get hurt, ok?
“Jesus replied, “All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them.” John 14:23 NLT
At first I'm thinking, Huh? It's one of those verses I think I've read but not sure, but it sounds really familiar. Slept better last night, but still coffee worthy. I actually have to be at work at 6 am, so I'm happy this morning. I'll be able to be home with the family tonight. I read and think, I read and think. I find if I love someone, I want them to do what I say, as to prevent them from being hurt or doing it wrong, not the other way around. Usually if someone tells me to do what they say, they're paying me to and I just don't want to argue or it's their idea, so I'll just follow. It also makes me think of how much I can't stand unsolicited advice. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. I'm backwards again. No matter how many time's I've been screwed over by people and experiences in my life, that trust level has gone down to prevent anything bad happening again. Especially when I feel I've been screwed over by God. God isn't like that. He doesn't want me to put Him in the same boat as the other people in my life. He doesn't belong there because His plan for me is to grow in love with Him through all those experience both good and bad. He leads me when I do what He says, even if it doesn't make any sense at all.
At first I'm thinking, Huh? It's one of those verses I think I've read but not sure, but it sounds really familiar. Slept better last night, but still coffee worthy. I actually have to be at work at 6 am, so I'm happy this morning. I'll be able to be home with the family tonight. I read and think, I read and think. I find if I love someone, I want them to do what I say, as to prevent them from being hurt or doing it wrong, not the other way around. Usually if someone tells me to do what they say, they're paying me to and I just don't want to argue or it's their idea, so I'll just follow. It also makes me think of how much I can't stand unsolicited advice. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. I'm backwards again. No matter how many time's I've been screwed over by people and experiences in my life, that trust level has gone down to prevent anything bad happening again. Especially when I feel I've been screwed over by God. God isn't like that. He doesn't want me to put Him in the same boat as the other people in my life. He doesn't belong there because His plan for me is to grow in love with Him through all those experience both good and bad. He leads me when I do what He says, even if it doesn't make any sense at all.
Monday, September 5, 2011
My Minnesota mug
“Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”” Matthew 28:18-20 NLT
Oh yes, the big one, the one I've heard and read for years. I got some decent sleep last night, had a nice day off yesterday, still settling into the condo, but still tired. Sip some coffee, I'm using my Minnesota mug today, I got this when I visited my sister's family when they lived there. Boy is this computer screen bright. Sip some coffee, I read and think. This makes me think of a commencement speech, or when I was working for Ultimate Electronics and finishing my training. It also makes me think of the lack of trust I have in people, that I have trained. It also makes me think of Ice Road Truckers last night, when Dave just wouldn't listen to the trainers and just did his own thing. This makes me think of a lot of things. Sip some coffee, I read and think, I read and think. Today is labor day, and I actually have it off. I read and think, this is really a crazy scripture. I feel like someone has taught me the motions of diving off the diving board and now they're saying "do it", you mean "get wet?" I read and think, hits me. I really doubt a lot, that my training is adequate, that I really have what it takes to help someone out, it's like I get stage fright. Hits me again. I'm backwards again, I'm not in this alone. God never said "see ya", He said "I'll be with you always". Hits me again. Just like this mug I'm drinking out of, has the attributes of Minnesota on it, moose, fish, light house, duck, bear, a lake house. I need to let God be God in me. No need to dwell on if I've been trained properly, just chill. He'll use the experiences He's given me to further His kingdom regardless of how inadequate I feel.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Don't Stop Believing
“Hold on to the pattern of wholesome teaching you learned from me—a pattern shaped by the faith and love that you have in Christ Jesus. Through the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within us, carefully guard the precious truth that has been entrusted to you.” 2 Timothy 1:13-14 NLT
Wow, there's a lot in this one, and I am tired this morning, why am I not sleeping? I just automatically wake up at 4 i guess or whenever. Sip some coffee, a lot of it this morning. As I read and think about this one, it hits me about how many time my belief's are challenged on a daily basis. It doesn't matter where I go, my morals are challenged. Sure I've got things to do and a family to take care of. But, how many times do I just laugh at the dirty jokes or validate someone when I don't agree or agree to just be agreeable. How many times can I sense someone needs Jesus and I just don't tell them "uh, we need to talk, you need Jesus". I read and I think, I read and I think, hits me. The song "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey comes to mind.Sure I guard my family and my life from evil, I've got things to do, no time to help someone out at times, I'm in task mode and I'm stinkin tired usually. I'm backwards again. I'm trying to make things happen for God the way I think He wants me to, instead of Letting Him be God and following where He leads me in my daily things, He'll present to me things that are best to teach me and grow me closer to Him, and I've got to strive to believe even when He's driving me crazy and things just aren't going according to plan.
Wow, there's a lot in this one, and I am tired this morning, why am I not sleeping? I just automatically wake up at 4 i guess or whenever. Sip some coffee, a lot of it this morning. As I read and think about this one, it hits me about how many time my belief's are challenged on a daily basis. It doesn't matter where I go, my morals are challenged. Sure I've got things to do and a family to take care of. But, how many times do I just laugh at the dirty jokes or validate someone when I don't agree or agree to just be agreeable. How many times can I sense someone needs Jesus and I just don't tell them "uh, we need to talk, you need Jesus". I read and I think, I read and I think, hits me. The song "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey comes to mind.Sure I guard my family and my life from evil, I've got things to do, no time to help someone out at times, I'm in task mode and I'm stinkin tired usually. I'm backwards again. I'm trying to make things happen for God the way I think He wants me to, instead of Letting Him be God and following where He leads me in my daily things, He'll present to me things that are best to teach me and grow me closer to Him, and I've got to strive to believe even when He's driving me crazy and things just aren't going according to plan.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Kinkelized!
“This is what the Lord says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is good for you and leads you along the paths you should follow.” Isaiah 48:17 NLT
Yawwn! when I first read this one, I was like, whoa, this is one of those "all about God in the beginning every name in the book" verses. Sip some coffee. Today I'm using my fuller mug, I read and think, I read and think. At work yesterday, we were setting a rig for "Kool and the Gang" and I was instructed clearly by the head rigger on how to set the safety's on the lights, after lunch I noticed some were done and some weren't, so I fixed them. I later over heard "who redid these" I spoke up and debated that I was clearly told by the head rigger in the beginning. I explained how his way was unsafe and he assured me it was safe enough, so I gave in and helped redo them all. I read and think, sip some coffee. I'm tired, I slept pretty good actually put in a 10 hr day at work. When I do things like that the guys at work call it "kinkelized" some times bad, some times good. I've been known to be naive and gullible and to follow instructions to the tee. I'm very thorough and detailed in many things, lots of questions. I think a lot about life and the root of the problem. I'm known to be very faithful to things I believe in. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. Even though it might seem God is not qualified to direct me, He is. It might seem at times that people will get in the way, when He's using them to continue to modify and strengthen me onto a path I should follow. My wife went to Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Ca. where she made some of her best friends and memories of her life, she remains in contact with them to this day, she worked her butt off (getting mono twice). We visited Fuller on our Honeymoon where I got the mug and I took pictures of all the places she felt so close to God back in the day. God directed her to Fuller back then and now He teaches both of us as we stride (with aches and pains at times) to follow Him on the path everyday, being Kinkelized!
Yawwn! when I first read this one, I was like, whoa, this is one of those "all about God in the beginning every name in the book" verses. Sip some coffee. Today I'm using my fuller mug, I read and think, I read and think. At work yesterday, we were setting a rig for "Kool and the Gang" and I was instructed clearly by the head rigger on how to set the safety's on the lights, after lunch I noticed some were done and some weren't, so I fixed them. I later over heard "who redid these" I spoke up and debated that I was clearly told by the head rigger in the beginning. I explained how his way was unsafe and he assured me it was safe enough, so I gave in and helped redo them all. I read and think, sip some coffee. I'm tired, I slept pretty good actually put in a 10 hr day at work. When I do things like that the guys at work call it "kinkelized" some times bad, some times good. I've been known to be naive and gullible and to follow instructions to the tee. I'm very thorough and detailed in many things, lots of questions. I think a lot about life and the root of the problem. I'm known to be very faithful to things I believe in. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. Even though it might seem God is not qualified to direct me, He is. It might seem at times that people will get in the way, when He's using them to continue to modify and strengthen me onto a path I should follow. My wife went to Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Ca. where she made some of her best friends and memories of her life, she remains in contact with them to this day, she worked her butt off (getting mono twice). We visited Fuller on our Honeymoon where I got the mug and I took pictures of all the places she felt so close to God back in the day. God directed her to Fuller back then and now He teaches both of us as we stride (with aches and pains at times) to follow Him on the path everyday, being Kinkelized!
Friday, September 2, 2011
Where the streets have no name
“O Lord, your unfailing love fills the earth; teach me your decrees.” Psalm 119:64 NLT
Huh? thats what I'm thinking. This is another one of those that I just don't get. When I used to read these types, I would just think "ya ya thats cool" and pass it by. I slept pretty good, it was a long tiring day, but I got to bed earlier, still tired though. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I didn't want to move, I really thought that I would just stick with the landlord and hold out until they could replace the carpet, but my family just couldn't live in a half packed up apartment. The condo that we moved to is too small, yet we both kind of saw a sign that it was time, and since I pretty much do this type of work on a daily basis, it was pretty much another day at the office. I even felt the sooner we move the better. I'm tired of moving, but I even felt God tell me to sell as much as I can. I feel good about what we did, like I'm listening to Him. I read and I think, I read and think, hits me. God's love is not some valentines day card, it's not a flower or a gift from someone, it's another direction, it's Him guiding me and my family onto another path and another place, just like the U2 song "Where the streets have no name". Ya I'm tired of moving, but God isn't, He fills the earth with Himself, and I need to stride to listen to Him. Who knows what's next.
My Focus Today: If I hear God tell me something, do it, even if I feel weird and don't want to.
Huh? thats what I'm thinking. This is another one of those that I just don't get. When I used to read these types, I would just think "ya ya thats cool" and pass it by. I slept pretty good, it was a long tiring day, but I got to bed earlier, still tired though. Sip some coffee, I read and think. I didn't want to move, I really thought that I would just stick with the landlord and hold out until they could replace the carpet, but my family just couldn't live in a half packed up apartment. The condo that we moved to is too small, yet we both kind of saw a sign that it was time, and since I pretty much do this type of work on a daily basis, it was pretty much another day at the office. I even felt the sooner we move the better. I'm tired of moving, but I even felt God tell me to sell as much as I can. I feel good about what we did, like I'm listening to Him. I read and I think, I read and think, hits me. God's love is not some valentines day card, it's not a flower or a gift from someone, it's another direction, it's Him guiding me and my family onto another path and another place, just like the U2 song "Where the streets have no name". Ya I'm tired of moving, but God isn't, He fills the earth with Himself, and I need to stride to listen to Him. Who knows what's next.
My Focus Today: If I hear God tell me something, do it, even if I feel weird and don't want to.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” Proverbs 22:6 NLT
Yep another verse I don't really agree with. Sure I grew up in a great christian home, went to church every week, sang all the hymns, had quiet times, I was a good innocent, naive, sheltered boy. Then I rebelled because I was tired of being looked at as naive and sheltered, and I wanted to see what was out there what I had missed out on. I read and I think, I read and I think, I sip some coffee. We're finally moved into the condo, and got internet up and running, a lot of work still to do with getting settled in. I read and think. I was the last one of my brother and sisters to get married, they all got married when they were 18 and 19 or 20, I waited until I was 31. Hits me, this isn't talking to parents, its talking to the kids that have grown up now. The movie line from Dirty Harry comes to mind. "Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?" Hits me again. My parents did direct me on the right path, I rebelled of course, but now that I'm older, I won't leave it, I'll mess up at times, but I won't leave it. Ya times get tough, days will suck, but God will always be with me and never leave me, like he didn't back then.
My focus today: believing and trusting that God does the work, not me
Yep another verse I don't really agree with. Sure I grew up in a great christian home, went to church every week, sang all the hymns, had quiet times, I was a good innocent, naive, sheltered boy. Then I rebelled because I was tired of being looked at as naive and sheltered, and I wanted to see what was out there what I had missed out on. I read and I think, I read and I think, I sip some coffee. We're finally moved into the condo, and got internet up and running, a lot of work still to do with getting settled in. I read and think. I was the last one of my brother and sisters to get married, they all got married when they were 18 and 19 or 20, I waited until I was 31. Hits me, this isn't talking to parents, its talking to the kids that have grown up now. The movie line from Dirty Harry comes to mind. "Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?" Hits me again. My parents did direct me on the right path, I rebelled of course, but now that I'm older, I won't leave it, I'll mess up at times, but I won't leave it. Ya times get tough, days will suck, but God will always be with me and never leave me, like he didn't back then.
My focus today: believing and trusting that God does the work, not me
Monday, August 29, 2011
My Disney Land mug
“There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28 NLT
At first I begin to think of how I used to be confused about this verse. Of course we are all one in Christ, sure I agree. But do I? I did not sleep well last night, first night home from vacation. I'm using my Disney Land mug this morning. As I read and think about this verse, I try to fit jew, gentile, slave, etc into contemporary language. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. Ya sure this is about different social classes, but it can also be about different "spiritual classes". I'm so quick to judge the spirituality of another believer to think that we're equal in Christ. Hits me again. What is one place on this earth that everyone feels loved, Disney Land! my mug says on the inside "To all that come to this happy place, welcome." Forget these stupid "classes" I've mentally put people in: people who go to church, who don't go to church, who are in leadership at church, involved in church, good workers, not good workers, who don't talk a lot, people who do talk a lot, who I think could never get saved, who swear, who don't spend money wisely, who've made bad decisions, etc. How ridiculous. I need to keep focusing on Christ and He'll open my eyes to see how much more welcoming I need to be.
At first I begin to think of how I used to be confused about this verse. Of course we are all one in Christ, sure I agree. But do I? I did not sleep well last night, first night home from vacation. I'm using my Disney Land mug this morning. As I read and think about this verse, I try to fit jew, gentile, slave, etc into contemporary language. I read and think, I read and think, hits me. Ya sure this is about different social classes, but it can also be about different "spiritual classes". I'm so quick to judge the spirituality of another believer to think that we're equal in Christ. Hits me again. What is one place on this earth that everyone feels loved, Disney Land! my mug says on the inside "To all that come to this happy place, welcome." Forget these stupid "classes" I've mentally put people in: people who go to church, who don't go to church, who are in leadership at church, involved in church, good workers, not good workers, who don't talk a lot, people who do talk a lot, who I think could never get saved, who swear, who don't spend money wisely, who've made bad decisions, etc. How ridiculous. I need to keep focusing on Christ and He'll open my eyes to see how much more welcoming I need to be.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Those aren't pillows
“Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.”” John 6:29 NLT
At first I don't know what to think. I'm finally rested, needed a lot rest. My back hurts now, due to the fact that I'm not used to sleeping with so many pillows at a resort, but I got my rest kind of. Sip some coffee, I read and think. Sure I believe in God when I'm with other believers or with my family, but when I'm in public, I have a different reaction. I read and think, I read and think. Since I'm in audio visual, and in video production, I find that I can go anywhere and be able to stand up for what I believe in TV's and technology because I live and breath it, I can see a tv on the wall and know it. When it comes to God, I fear I don't have the knowledge to defend Him if I stand up for Him, like I do with technology. Hits me, I make things so complicated again, He's asking me to simply believe in Him, and in that he'll take that fear away. The pillows are no different (their an opportunity), If I had just not feared of what the resort thought, and believed in how I sleep best and made the bed the way I like it at home, I would have slept fine.
At first I don't know what to think. I'm finally rested, needed a lot rest. My back hurts now, due to the fact that I'm not used to sleeping with so many pillows at a resort, but I got my rest kind of. Sip some coffee, I read and think. Sure I believe in God when I'm with other believers or with my family, but when I'm in public, I have a different reaction. I read and think, I read and think. Since I'm in audio visual, and in video production, I find that I can go anywhere and be able to stand up for what I believe in TV's and technology because I live and breath it, I can see a tv on the wall and know it. When it comes to God, I fear I don't have the knowledge to defend Him if I stand up for Him, like I do with technology. Hits me, I make things so complicated again, He's asking me to simply believe in Him, and in that he'll take that fear away. The pillows are no different (their an opportunity), If I had just not feared of what the resort thought, and believed in how I sleep best and made the bed the way I like it at home, I would have slept fine.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Church? I don't belong
“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.” Romans 12:4-5 NLT
Oh yes, the body verse. I always had the idea in mind that everyone was equal, no matter what they did. Then I found myself thinking only those who attended church and were involved were equal. I slept ok last night, using my 5 & Diner mug today. Today's also Friday, which means I listen to oldies as well. I read and think, I read and think. Hits me, sip more coffee. Until I get my eyes off of everyone else and keep them on Christ, He will show me how everyone around me throughout my day wherever I go, church, work, school, errands, has a special function and has a spot in Christ.
Oh yes, the body verse. I always had the idea in mind that everyone was equal, no matter what they did. Then I found myself thinking only those who attended church and were involved were equal. I slept ok last night, using my 5 & Diner mug today. Today's also Friday, which means I listen to oldies as well. I read and think, I read and think. Hits me, sip more coffee. Until I get my eyes off of everyone else and keep them on Christ, He will show me how everyone around me throughout my day wherever I go, church, work, school, errands, has a special function and has a spot in Christ.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Sometimes I read it but I don't believe it
“Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.” Psalm 119:165 NIV
Wow, I just don't believe this verse. I've had peace and love for the word, and I've stilled stumbled. But yet again its true. Didn't sleep well again, today I use my Petrified Forest mug. I often wish I had a closer attraction to the word, I see and hear other people's attraction to it and just wish I did too. I read and I think, I read and I think. Hits me, even though I'm reading his law, I won't have great peace unless I truly surrender my thoughts and fears to Him, making my world of stumbling disappear.
Wow, I just don't believe this verse. I've had peace and love for the word, and I've stilled stumbled. But yet again its true. Didn't sleep well again, today I use my Petrified Forest mug. I often wish I had a closer attraction to the word, I see and hear other people's attraction to it and just wish I did too. I read and I think, I read and I think. Hits me, even though I'm reading his law, I won't have great peace unless I truly surrender my thoughts and fears to Him, making my world of stumbling disappear.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
My Purgatory place?
“I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.” Psalm 116:1-2 NIV
Sometimes I just don't understand verses like this. You know I read the word on a daily basis, I find myself growing in God, and then when a tough time comes up, I don't cry out, because I know I can trust Him. I didn't sleep well, up too early, getting a video out this morning. I'm using my Purgatory Resort mug today. So I don't cry out to God for mercy, I'm actually at peace with God when bad things happen. I read and think, I read and think. Then I recall quite a few moments when regardless of how close to God I felt I was I still screwed up when I should have cried out. Hits me, sip some coffee, am I really speaking to God the way He wants me too, or the way I think I should be? Sure I can live in this "Purgatory" place with God but if I don't communicate with Him the way he would like, I will never call on him as long as I live.
Sometimes I just don't understand verses like this. You know I read the word on a daily basis, I find myself growing in God, and then when a tough time comes up, I don't cry out, because I know I can trust Him. I didn't sleep well, up too early, getting a video out this morning. I'm using my Purgatory Resort mug today. So I don't cry out to God for mercy, I'm actually at peace with God when bad things happen. I read and think, I read and think. Then I recall quite a few moments when regardless of how close to God I felt I was I still screwed up when I should have cried out. Hits me, sip some coffee, am I really speaking to God the way He wants me too, or the way I think I should be? Sure I can live in this "Purgatory" place with God but if I don't communicate with Him the way he would like, I will never call on him as long as I live.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
I'm optimistic, I don't cry
“I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.” Psalm 94:18-19 NLT
At first I'm thankful that now I know I can really cry out to the Lord He'll support me. I've had my moments of doubts of who knows what. I slept ok last night, still need coffee this morning. I'm using my MeteorCrater mug today. I've lost count of how many times I haven't cried out to God when I was in shambles and just tried to deal with struggles on my own only to fall hard. I read and think, sip some coffee. I ask myself why, when the answer is right in front of my face. I struggle with things like everyone else on a daily basis, and every day is different. I read and think, I read and think, 10 minutes later, hits me. Ironically, when it feels like a meteor has hit me, I automatically get into challenge mode and become optimistic and try to figure out on my own how get out of it. I'm backwards again, sure I can be optimistic and have control and just see whats going to happen. Yet if I simply let God know how I really feel instead of how I think I'm supposed to feel, He'll support comfort me and show me how this so called meteor was given to renew my hope and cheer.
At first I'm thankful that now I know I can really cry out to the Lord He'll support me. I've had my moments of doubts of who knows what. I slept ok last night, still need coffee this morning. I'm using my MeteorCrater mug today. I've lost count of how many times I haven't cried out to God when I was in shambles and just tried to deal with struggles on my own only to fall hard. I read and think, sip some coffee. I ask myself why, when the answer is right in front of my face. I struggle with things like everyone else on a daily basis, and every day is different. I read and think, I read and think, 10 minutes later, hits me. Ironically, when it feels like a meteor has hit me, I automatically get into challenge mode and become optimistic and try to figure out on my own how get out of it. I'm backwards again, sure I can be optimistic and have control and just see whats going to happen. Yet if I simply let God know how I really feel instead of how I think I'm supposed to feel, He'll support comfort me and show me how this so called meteor was given to renew my hope and cheer.
Monday, August 22, 2011
The things I've done, the places I've been
“Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Romans 8:32 NLT
At first I'm thinking, what a sacrifice. Then I'm thinking I've known this all my life. Then I'm thinking about everything else. I slept ok, coffee's slowing kicking in. I'm using my St. Louis coffee mug today. I've been collecting coffee mugs since 1994, every place I've been. I read and I think, I read and I think, sip more coffee. I begin to think of all the stuff I've done both good and bad in my past life time and where God has been and where it seemed like He wasn't it. Hits me, if He had spared His own son, I probably wouldn't be alive and wouldn't be who I am today in Him.
At first I'm thinking, what a sacrifice. Then I'm thinking I've known this all my life. Then I'm thinking about everything else. I slept ok, coffee's slowing kicking in. I'm using my St. Louis coffee mug today. I've been collecting coffee mugs since 1994, every place I've been. I read and I think, I read and I think, sip more coffee. I begin to think of all the stuff I've done both good and bad in my past life time and where God has been and where it seemed like He wasn't it. Hits me, if He had spared His own son, I probably wouldn't be alive and wouldn't be who I am today in Him.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
I want what he has
“But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life.” Psalm 42:8 NLT
When I read verses like this, I first try to figure out if I'm in tune with God the way David is, sometimes yes and sometimes no. I slept ok last night, woke up around 1 am really thirsty, then after a lot of water, couldn't sleep. I find myself wishing I had that kind of relationship. Sip some coffee, I read and think, read and think. Hits me, He is so consistent with being there, that regardless of how I screw up on a daily basis, He'll pull me in one way or another and show me His life in me.
When I read verses like this, I first try to figure out if I'm in tune with God the way David is, sometimes yes and sometimes no. I slept ok last night, woke up around 1 am really thirsty, then after a lot of water, couldn't sleep. I find myself wishing I had that kind of relationship. Sip some coffee, I read and think, read and think. Hits me, He is so consistent with being there, that regardless of how I screw up on a daily basis, He'll pull me in one way or another and show me His life in me.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
But, I still screw up?
“I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.” Psalm 16:8 NLT
At first I'm thinking, well sometimes it didn't matter if He was with me or not. I still screwed up. Bad things still happened. Then I'm reminded of the footsteps poem. I read and I think. I'm a little tired this morning, but not bad, I turned in last night with a fever but the Tylenol helped big time. Sip some coffee, I read and think, backwards again, hits me. Sure I have knowledge of Him being with me, sure I recognize He's beside me, but if I keep asking for His help instead of making myself available to Him, I'll keep feeling miserable and screw up. Hits me again. The more I strive to serve Him, the more I'll find myself giving Him my pain and I will not feel shaken.
Challenge for me today: strive to make myself available for God.
At first I'm thinking, well sometimes it didn't matter if He was with me or not. I still screwed up. Bad things still happened. Then I'm reminded of the footsteps poem. I read and I think. I'm a little tired this morning, but not bad, I turned in last night with a fever but the Tylenol helped big time. Sip some coffee, I read and think, backwards again, hits me. Sure I have knowledge of Him being with me, sure I recognize He's beside me, but if I keep asking for His help instead of making myself available to Him, I'll keep feeling miserable and screw up. Hits me again. The more I strive to serve Him, the more I'll find myself giving Him my pain and I will not feel shaken.
Challenge for me today: strive to make myself available for God.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Why am I not further along in life?
“Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have God’s Son does not have life.” 1 John 5:12 NLT
Duh i already know this. Then why do I get frustrated of where I am in life. Why do I think of what I should've done. I do not like the life I am living that I have made for myself. I read and think, and read and think. Hits me, backwards again, sure I have the son, but I don't live His life because I'm failing at attempting to live it, instead I need keep in the word and see the life, the son has for me to live and let Him live it.
Challenge for me today: do my best to let Him live in me
Duh i already know this. Then why do I get frustrated of where I am in life. Why do I think of what I should've done. I do not like the life I am living that I have made for myself. I read and think, and read and think. Hits me, backwards again, sure I have the son, but I don't live His life because I'm failing at attempting to live it, instead I need keep in the word and see the life, the son has for me to live and let Him live it.
Challenge for me today: do my best to let Him live in me
Thursday, August 18, 2011
I live for me!
“For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.” Philippians 1:21 NLT
At first I'm thinking, another "good verse". I slept better last night, didn't get woken up at all. Still tired, have videos I'm trying to get out. I always saw this verse, as I'll live for Christ and when I die it'll be great, because I know where I'm going. I read and I think, I read and I think. Sip some coffee, still tired. Waiting for caffeine to sink in. Living for Christ always meant to me, I take a portion of Christ that best fits me and live that, but not all, because I do what I have time for, be aware of weird people, and use common sense. I read and I think, I read and I think, hits me. I'm backwards again, I'm always backwards it seems. Sip some more coffee. I'm living for me, in hopes that I reach for Christ whenever I see fit, instead of Living for Christ and letting Him guide me, wherever He sees fit.
Challenge for me today: strive to live for Christ and let Him guide me
At first I'm thinking, another "good verse". I slept better last night, didn't get woken up at all. Still tired, have videos I'm trying to get out. I always saw this verse, as I'll live for Christ and when I die it'll be great, because I know where I'm going. I read and I think, I read and I think. Sip some coffee, still tired. Waiting for caffeine to sink in. Living for Christ always meant to me, I take a portion of Christ that best fits me and live that, but not all, because I do what I have time for, be aware of weird people, and use common sense. I read and I think, I read and I think, hits me. I'm backwards again, I'm always backwards it seems. Sip some more coffee. I'm living for me, in hopes that I reach for Christ whenever I see fit, instead of Living for Christ and letting Him guide me, wherever He sees fit.
Challenge for me today: strive to live for Christ and let Him guide me
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
But, what will people say?
“As the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord.” When people commend themselves, it doesn’t count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them.” 2 Corinthians 10:17-18 NLT
At first I'm remember this verse from High School, very similar to the not ashamed verse. Didn't get woken up til 3 am this morning, so I slept better. Sip some coffee, still tired. I never knew how to handle people who bragged about what they had materially, but I know it bothered me. Then I remember how many times I've not bragged about God when I should have. I read and I think, I read and think, I'm tired this morning. Sip some coffee, I think, hits me. I'm backwards again. Instead of getting so caught up with everyones reaction of what I've got, done or believe in the moment, I need to make priority what God thinks of me. Because if something gets screwed up, I'm gunna and have looked like an idiot and should have kept my mouth shut.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Stupid, Crazy, World
“Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God.” 2 Corinthians 7:1 NLT
Not as tired this morning but its coffee worthy. This verse has often confused me, just never could figure it out. I live in a stupid crazy world, what do you want me to do? Live in a bubble? As I continue to read and think, sip coffee, read and think. Sure, I come home from work and am exhausted mentally and physically, I'm thinking shower. Yet even when thats done, I still fill warn out, need a beer. The pain I feel, I can't figure out what I did to cause it, I just know I feel it. I read and think, coffee. Hits me, the fact that I don't know how the pain got there, means it going to come back unless I pay attention to how I do things. The more I talk with God, the more I'll respect Him and become like Him and he'll make me sensitive in the moment and show me other ways to protect myself from harm physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Not as tired this morning but its coffee worthy. This verse has often confused me, just never could figure it out. I live in a stupid crazy world, what do you want me to do? Live in a bubble? As I continue to read and think, sip coffee, read and think. Sure, I come home from work and am exhausted mentally and physically, I'm thinking shower. Yet even when thats done, I still fill warn out, need a beer. The pain I feel, I can't figure out what I did to cause it, I just know I feel it. I read and think, coffee. Hits me, the fact that I don't know how the pain got there, means it going to come back unless I pay attention to how I do things. The more I talk with God, the more I'll respect Him and become like Him and he'll make me sensitive in the moment and show me other ways to protect myself from harm physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Every man dies but not every man lives
“If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.” Romans 14:8 NLT
Wow this verse is easy to read. I'm tired, didn't sleep well again, it was a long tiring weekend. Sip some coffee. The scene from Braveheart comes to mind - "Every man dies but not every man lives". Honestly, I know I have not honored God in my daily thoughts, activities. Sometimes I have, I don't really think about it. I find my self asking Him for help to get through the day but really don't believe it. I always thought this meant, doing something to further the gospel. I read and think, sip more coffee. read and think, read and think, hits me (10 min). (caffeine starting to kick in, I love it when that happens) I'm backwards again, I keep on thinking I have to honor God by doing certain things and acting certain ways. He continues to remind me, that by surrendering to Him all my daily thoughts, actions, and circumstances, He considers it an honor to live through me because I believe I belong to Him.
Wow this verse is easy to read. I'm tired, didn't sleep well again, it was a long tiring weekend. Sip some coffee. The scene from Braveheart comes to mind - "Every man dies but not every man lives". Honestly, I know I have not honored God in my daily thoughts, activities. Sometimes I have, I don't really think about it. I find my self asking Him for help to get through the day but really don't believe it. I always thought this meant, doing something to further the gospel. I read and think, sip more coffee. read and think, read and think, hits me (10 min). (caffeine starting to kick in, I love it when that happens) I'm backwards again, I keep on thinking I have to honor God by doing certain things and acting certain ways. He continues to remind me, that by surrendering to Him all my daily thoughts, actions, and circumstances, He considers it an honor to live through me because I believe I belong to Him.
Friday, August 12, 2011
I've Fallen and I can't get up
“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NLT
Slept better last night, now I'm fighting a cold. At first I'm thinking, oh this verse, the holy temple one. Sip some coffee. I always thought "hey I run, i don't smoke, drink, drugs, I'm in shape, great next verse." I read and I think, hits me. I'm drinking coffee and fighting a cold. Sip more coffee. I read and I think, hits me again. How many times have I yelled at God to fix me as I continue to hurt myself, oh the temptations. Hits me again.....I'm backwards. I keep forgetting that God lives in me, and that He just doesn't stop by when He has a moment because I'm one of His children. If I can keep my focus on God instead of blaming Him for not flipping the off switch with my struggles, He will reveal ways that I can and am already honoring Him. I need some water.
Slept better last night, now I'm fighting a cold. At first I'm thinking, oh this verse, the holy temple one. Sip some coffee. I always thought "hey I run, i don't smoke, drink, drugs, I'm in shape, great next verse." I read and I think, hits me. I'm drinking coffee and fighting a cold. Sip more coffee. I read and I think, hits me again. How many times have I yelled at God to fix me as I continue to hurt myself, oh the temptations. Hits me again.....I'm backwards. I keep forgetting that God lives in me, and that He just doesn't stop by when He has a moment because I'm one of His children. If I can keep my focus on God instead of blaming Him for not flipping the off switch with my struggles, He will reveal ways that I can and am already honoring Him. I need some water.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
This is my stuff, leave it alone!
“I have rejoiced in your laws as much as in riches.” Psalm 119:14NLT
At first I'm thinking, well he can say this because he's stinkin King David. Still not sleeping, so a lot of coffee this morning, more coffee, can't wait for a surprise nap sometime. I've lost count of how many times I've not rejoiced or been thankful to God unless my own life was doing well. Or I would rejoice but not mean it. I read and I read, think and think this through, hits me. Regardless of how tired I am, how much sleep I wish I had, how many dvds I own, stuff I've collected, skills I've developed, memories I've saved, things that I claim, make me who I am. But, The more I spend time with him, the more He'll reveal to me His provisions and how to use them for His glory and I'll continue to rejoice in Him.
At first I'm thinking, well he can say this because he's stinkin King David. Still not sleeping, so a lot of coffee this morning, more coffee, can't wait for a surprise nap sometime. I've lost count of how many times I've not rejoiced or been thankful to God unless my own life was doing well. Or I would rejoice but not mean it. I read and I read, think and think this through, hits me. Regardless of how tired I am, how much sleep I wish I had, how many dvds I own, stuff I've collected, skills I've developed, memories I've saved, things that I claim, make me who I am. But, The more I spend time with him, the more He'll reveal to me His provisions and how to use them for His glory and I'll continue to rejoice in Him.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
God!! Where are you?
“[For the choir director: A song of the descendants of Korah, to be sung by soprano voices.] God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1 NLT
Strong coffee this morning, didn't sleep well. Every time I read these kinds of verses, I always get thrown off by choir thing. The line doesn't even rhyme, how can you sing something that doesn't rhyme. As I read this over and over again, having no idea what God is trying to tell me, hits me. How often have I bypassed God in hard times, thinking, it wasn't enough trouble to qualify for God's assistance. Hits me again, how many musicals have I seen where the soprano has the main part, and I find myself stopping to listen for that moment. I think of the scene in ShawShank Redemption, where the men in the jail yard stop in awe of what they're hearing all of the sudden and for a just a minute and felt like free men. Hits me again, just like I wasn't expecting him to save me in the form of a virgin birth, His refuge and strength won't always been in words, but in the sound of a voice, in nature, a dream, a scene, an act of kindness. He knows my language in my time of trouble.
Strong coffee this morning, didn't sleep well. Every time I read these kinds of verses, I always get thrown off by choir thing. The line doesn't even rhyme, how can you sing something that doesn't rhyme. As I read this over and over again, having no idea what God is trying to tell me, hits me. How often have I bypassed God in hard times, thinking, it wasn't enough trouble to qualify for God's assistance. Hits me again, how many musicals have I seen where the soprano has the main part, and I find myself stopping to listen for that moment. I think of the scene in ShawShank Redemption, where the men in the jail yard stop in awe of what they're hearing all of the sudden and for a just a minute and felt like free men. Hits me again, just like I wasn't expecting him to save me in the form of a virgin birth, His refuge and strength won't always been in words, but in the sound of a voice, in nature, a dream, a scene, an act of kindness. He knows my language in my time of trouble.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
God doesn't care about little 'ol me
““What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” Luke 12:6-7 NLT
At first I'm thinking of the stock market dieing. I think of how afraid I was yesterday of my job of what was to come. Then I recall moments where I thought God only cared about the big stuff going on in the world and not about my little problems. I always looked at God as a big corporate person in a tall building and putting me in the public domain section. 2nd cup of coffee, I read and think, I read and think. Hits me, no matter how scary, crazy, and impossible things get in this world, He knows it, is aware of it, but it doesn't startle Him. Even when it seems that this life is all about power and money, and screwing the innocent hard working people over, He reminds me its not, even though it seems, its not, even thought it seems, its not, but about Him. I have to trust Him.
At first I'm thinking of the stock market dieing. I think of how afraid I was yesterday of my job of what was to come. Then I recall moments where I thought God only cared about the big stuff going on in the world and not about my little problems. I always looked at God as a big corporate person in a tall building and putting me in the public domain section. 2nd cup of coffee, I read and think, I read and think. Hits me, no matter how scary, crazy, and impossible things get in this world, He knows it, is aware of it, but it doesn't startle Him. Even when it seems that this life is all about power and money, and screwing the innocent hard working people over, He reminds me its not, even though it seems, its not, even thought it seems, its not, but about Him. I have to trust Him.
Monday, August 8, 2011
I'm too nice at times
“For the Lord delights in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.” Psalm 149:4 NLT
(this ones kind of long) At first I'm thinking, I need to work on humility now or God won't delight in me. As I start sipping coffee, reading and thinking, reading and thinking. I begin to recall so many instances where I've been humble in asking for an opinion and to follow the other persons lead, knowing full well that they're wrong, when I should have defended the correct answer early on. Only to find out later that I took humility too far and it made myself look incompetent, I think I'm too nice. Then its even worse to work with someone who can't admit they made a mistake and that they're arrogant (big pet peeve of mine). Then I realize how long it took me to be humble, how many times in the past could I not admit when I was wrong or made a bad decision? Many times, I have trouble forgiving myself at times for past failures. I read and I read, it hits me, backwards again. Sure I can be a pro at being humble, but, if I don't keep my focus on God, then I will not see that He wants to show me what His type of humility is, that He'll give me the wisdom and knowledge to defend myself and I'll find victory as I delight in Him.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
God, take a break, I'll take this one
“For the Lord is our judge, our lawgiver, and our king. He will care for us and save us.” Isaiah 33:22 NLT
At first I'm thinking, aah great, another judge, law, king verse. I begin to think to about how many times I've told God to take a break, I've got a lot of experience in judging, creating my laws and being in charge. I'll fill him in when I'm done. As I read and read, sip coffee, and read. I find myself really having a problem with this judge, lawgiver, king thing. Then it hits me, of how much anger, resentment, bitterness, trust issues, control I have built up, I feel miserable. Coffee's done, Hits me again, got this backwards. Until I don't tell God to take a break, and let Him be Him, will I feel how much He cares for me and has been saving me all this time. Otherwise I'll still be miserable.
At first I'm thinking, aah great, another judge, law, king verse. I begin to think to about how many times I've told God to take a break, I've got a lot of experience in judging, creating my laws and being in charge. I'll fill him in when I'm done. As I read and read, sip coffee, and read. I find myself really having a problem with this judge, lawgiver, king thing. Then it hits me, of how much anger, resentment, bitterness, trust issues, control I have built up, I feel miserable. Coffee's done, Hits me again, got this backwards. Until I don't tell God to take a break, and let Him be Him, will I feel how much He cares for me and has been saving me all this time. Otherwise I'll still be miserable.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Sorry for interrupting
“The very essence of your words is truth; all your just regulations will stand forever.” Psalm 119:160 NLT
At first I'm thinking good, good, good. Then I feel I'm walking into a conversation between two people. I read again and again. I take another sip of coffee. It's like I'm watching these two people converse from a distance (I can even picture the camera angles). I find myself wanting the relationship the two people have, but what is it? Two people just don't talk like this. Hits me, the fact that I'm witnessing the conversation, and studying it, is increasing the depth of relationship I'm developing with God.
At first I'm thinking good, good, good. Then I feel I'm walking into a conversation between two people. I read again and again. I take another sip of coffee. It's like I'm watching these two people converse from a distance (I can even picture the camera angles). I find myself wanting the relationship the two people have, but what is it? Two people just don't talk like this. Hits me, the fact that I'm witnessing the conversation, and studying it, is increasing the depth of relationship I'm developing with God.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Are you calling me simple?
“The teaching of your word gives light, so even the simple can understand.” Psalm 119:130 NLT
At first I'm thinking, this is a great verse! Simple. Then I'm finding, wait a second, is it telling me I'm simple and it has to be taught, meaning I can't figure it out, does this mean I'm stupid? I read it again and again. Hits me, How many times have I read the word as just a reading, not to understand it, and how many times have I not been teachable and just sat there waiting for the lesson to end. Yet how many times have I heard the word by accident and it gave me a glimpse of light in my dark world. Hits me again, that regardless of what situation I'm in, attitude I have, dumb decision I've made, anger I have, however I see the word, it will always be light, regardless if I understand it or not at the moment, it's pretty simple.
At first I'm thinking, this is a great verse! Simple. Then I'm finding, wait a second, is it telling me I'm simple and it has to be taught, meaning I can't figure it out, does this mean I'm stupid? I read it again and again. Hits me, How many times have I read the word as just a reading, not to understand it, and how many times have I not been teachable and just sat there waiting for the lesson to end. Yet how many times have I heard the word by accident and it gave me a glimpse of light in my dark world. Hits me again, that regardless of what situation I'm in, attitude I have, dumb decision I've made, anger I have, however I see the word, it will always be light, regardless if I understand it or not at the moment, it's pretty simple.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
One day at a time
““This is what the Lord says—the Lord who made the earth, who formed and established it, whose name is the Lord: Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.” Jeremiah 33:2-3 NLT
Usually I skip by these types of verses because I'm not someone who cares about things to come, I take things one day at a time. As I read this over and over again. How many times have I limited what God can do, due to how big I can think and imagine? How many times have I not cared about what the future holds due to my lack of control of it. Then it hits me, I'm backwards again, the more I talk with Him and spend time with Him, the easier it will be to give control to Him, as he reveals those remarkable secrets that are to come.
Usually I skip by these types of verses because I'm not someone who cares about things to come, I take things one day at a time. As I read this over and over again. How many times have I limited what God can do, due to how big I can think and imagine? How many times have I not cared about what the future holds due to my lack of control of it. Then it hits me, I'm backwards again, the more I talk with Him and spend time with Him, the easier it will be to give control to Him, as he reveals those remarkable secrets that are to come.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
I hope it works as good as it looks
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”” 1 Samuel 16:7 NLT
As much as I want to deny it, I am a professional at judging others. If I could change anything, I would change that. To help me with this, I developed a phrase about 11 years ago, "I hope it works as good as it looks" (mainly for equipment). As I read this again and again, it hits me, no matter how many tricks and ideas I develop to help me overcome this problem, If I don't desire to see everything and everybody through God's eyes, I'll always be quick to judge.
As much as I want to deny it, I am a professional at judging others. If I could change anything, I would change that. To help me with this, I developed a phrase about 11 years ago, "I hope it works as good as it looks" (mainly for equipment). As I read this again and again, it hits me, no matter how many tricks and ideas I develop to help me overcome this problem, If I don't desire to see everything and everybody through God's eyes, I'll always be quick to judge.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Am I fooling myself?
“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” James 1:22 NLT
HHHmmmm......HHHmmm. Why am I stalling? Procrastination? How many times have I read his word or listened to someone preach or teach it, walk away feeling good, not apply it, but to continue to sin more. I find that I can create such a physical, mental, and spiritual barricade in my life so that I'll feel safe and only have to listen to God's word. This verse seems easier to do around other believers. I find myself asking God to help me focus on my to do's and for strength for my family but not for help in doing his word. I read and I read, hits me, by writing this blog, I am doing his word, probably the most insecure uncomfortable thing I've ever done, being vulnerable to the world, I often think I'm fooling myself.
HHHmmmm......HHHmmm. Why am I stalling? Procrastination? How many times have I read his word or listened to someone preach or teach it, walk away feeling good, not apply it, but to continue to sin more. I find that I can create such a physical, mental, and spiritual barricade in my life so that I'll feel safe and only have to listen to God's word. This verse seems easier to do around other believers. I find myself asking God to help me focus on my to do's and for strength for my family but not for help in doing his word. I read and I read, hits me, by writing this blog, I am doing his word, probably the most insecure uncomfortable thing I've ever done, being vulnerable to the world, I often think I'm fooling myself.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Why is opening the bible so hard?
“You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.” Psalm 119:114 NLT
At first I'm thinking, well I'm not in any physical danger. It's nice to know that I can count on God to be my refuge and shield. After I read it closer though. Then it hits me again, all the battles I'm facing inside my head, fears, struggles, etc. How many times have I not gone to his word for help with that? too many. How many times have I tried to fix my own situations without God, saying I don't need God on this one, I've got it. Why is opening the bible so hard? When I did get into his word (usually later), I find that all i had done was created a bigger mess for myself, and that He would have cleared my mind and thoughts if I had only consulted him first.
At first I'm thinking, well I'm not in any physical danger. It's nice to know that I can count on God to be my refuge and shield. After I read it closer though. Then it hits me again, all the battles I'm facing inside my head, fears, struggles, etc. How many times have I not gone to his word for help with that? too many. How many times have I tried to fix my own situations without God, saying I don't need God on this one, I've got it. Why is opening the bible so hard? When I did get into his word (usually later), I find that all i had done was created a bigger mess for myself, and that He would have cleared my mind and thoughts if I had only consulted him first.
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